While walking the walk of life.. the way that we meet new people.. so
did I meet him .. but in a virtual net world..!! For long we did not have
much talks.. It was all about Hi and Hellos..!! But then there was the first
time.. that our ‘real’ conversation started.. n it was merely 5 days that I
got so addicted to him.. n i guess even he got… may be..!!

Once I just asked him for a favor of mailing me some ‘good music.. and it
all started with the music business.. he kept on mailing me loads of songs
and that made us keep in touch..!! While the songs were being transferred…
we used to talk.. and talk for hours and hours.. through the nights..!! He
used to be awake late nights.. though never had been in that habit.. n all
that happened in the nights was the transferring of songs and our
gossips..!! The best part of it was that our gossips never had a topic.. all
was meaningless.. just pulling each others legs.. laughing and acting
weird..!! All this continued for just five days.. and the next day he was to
leave for his job..!! I knew that he’ll be gone for a year now.. and that
there would be no more song transfers and no more night gossips.. but all
this didn’t bother me much.. I never realized how close we had gotten in
these five days. But it was that night.. the last night.. when he just said
“I’ll miss you” .. It was then when my heart skipped a beat.. It was then when my eyes got wet. It was then that I realized that he’d be gone.. It was then that I realized that one year would be too long.. It was then that I realized that five days of conversation was all I had to live by waiting
for 365 days to pass by.. He’d be on ship.. No place to call, no way to chat
and mail.. no way to keep in touch while he’ll be sailing.. It was that
night that I weeped for hours and I felt so helpless..!!

Then that night for the first time we exchanged our phone numbers, just to
have an sms chat.. I kept on deleting his sms after reading.. but those
words.. in each and every sms of his.. are still in my heart and mind..
those words where in he first gave me an ‘abnormal hug’.. where in he first gave me ‘the mummie kisses’.. where in he said ‘you are the one who takes out the best and the worst in me’.. where in he whispered ‘How much I wished I could come to your place right now and meet you’.. all the words still ring in my heart.. they still make me smile..

The next morning.. the morning when he was to leave.. that was the morning
when I first heard his voice.. I was sooo nervous but tried my best to make him feel comfortable enough while having a first talk with me. It was a very
short call.. just a call in which I could which him a ‘Happy Journey’.. but
that first call is everything for me.. for it was the first time I heard his
so subtle and soothing voice..!

He then landed to another city.. and again gave me a call from the airport..
and we talked for 45 minutes before his next boarding call. We did tell that
we are missing each other.. but I wish i could tell him somehow.. how badly
I had been missing him..!

And then he landed in a different country.. and there at the airport he had the internet facility.. but interested people had to stand in a queue to
access the net for just 10 minutes.. He stood in the queue for five hours.. every time waiting for just 10 minutes to talk to me.. after the end of every ten minutes he again stood in the queue..! They had no facility to sit even while accessing the net.. and ‘my honey bunch’ kept on standing for five hours though being so tired after a day’s journey..! And then he got his next boarding call and he left finally..! He reached the ship..!!

I am so very much thankful to the Almighty for somehow making ways possible for our conversation..!! He is now on ship.. but we are still in contact..! We just chat for a few minutes, but then that means a lot to me.. because I knew that for next one year I wouldn’t have been able to hear a single word from him..!!

We are still friends and will forever be.. but still there is this extra
special feeling in my heart for him.. I want to speak it out.. I want him to
know certain things he doesn’t.. I want to explore my life with him.. but I
just can’t let it out.. for there are certain reasons that keep me holding
back..!!

I hope one day he understands that there is someone who ‘really loves’ him.. and that how hard ’she’ may try.. ’she’ just can’t speak it out… The intensity of the love that ’she’ holds in ‘her’ heart for ‘him’ is not that easy to be put into words..

If you read this.. then do understand.. there is someone waiting for you to
get back..!! There is someone who wishes to say so much.. and there is
someone who needs you forever..!! That “someone” is none other than ‘Me’