It has been a while since I have posted. When it is a love/relationship site and there is no love nor relationship, sometimes it’s hard to contribute. My 49th birthday is Saturday. It has me very depressed just because I reflect on my past decisions and where I am in my life and fear I will continue making those bad decisions and will continue to be where I am. It is not a good place. A job I hate, I rent a room from a friend so no home of my own, a car I can’t afford and no life mate. Whew! was that a pity part or what?? I have found myself thinking of Tommy alot this week and wondering if he will even think of me on my birthday or if he might call to wish me a happy day. I hope he doesn’t because I know it wouldn’t lead to anything good and I don’t need to go backwards. That would be repeating another one of those bad decisions and I am trying to break out of that habit. I have done so good for almost 60 days! Woo hoo!! Go me! Couldn’t do it without God taking care of me and I am thankful to Him for guarding my heart. I am trying to concentrate on the many blessings I have in my life and stop fretting over not having a man’s love. I will be fine and I know that. Here’s to a new year of new and smarter decisions!! (I HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Love,

Lucy for now

Loveless