We were asked to write an essay back in high school, with the topic, “Who will you choose? The one you love or the one who loves you?” After we wrote it, the class had a debate about who will they choose. Many answered they will choose the one they love. The teacher asked, “what if that person doesn’t love you?” We were floored, as most of us were at a lost for words.

Years later, until now, I still don’t know the answer to it. Will I choose the one I love or the one who loves me? I found myself asking this question because I’m torn between two guys: my long-time best friend, whom I really love, and a guy who loves me. The guy who loves me treats me well and cares for me, but the guy I love is only learning how to open up his heart to me. He is stubborn and self-centered. He is also my best friend.

The guy I love, I’ve been with him since we were little, and we’re like buddies. Then I found myself falling for him. I tried to send signals to him, but he never noticed it. Then this other guy came, and we started dating. My best friend started to drift apart from me. One day, I confronted him about it. He said he can’t bear to see me with another guy. He said he likes me more than a friend. I got mad at him, saying that when I was the one liking him, I was sending signals to him, but he never really noticed it, and tried to push me away. I told him I was tired of this game, and walked away from him.

Now I’m really confused. I don’t know what to do. I’m still dating the other guy, but I’m not talking anymore with the other guy. I miss my best friend so much. I realized he still weighs more in my heart than the other guy. I wish he’ll come up to me one day. Only then will I truly realize what my heart wants to tell me, then I will follow my heart.

The decision not to see “Tommy” was mine and I told him so on January 24, 2009 after the best ever New Year’s Eve of my life spent with him. I just didn’t feel strong enough to go yet another year waiting for my phone to ring and putting my life on hold so I told him to please not call me again. That lasted 3 weeks. On my way from visiting out of town yesterday I stopped by his house to deliver a momento of our New Year’s Eve that I had made for him. I wanted to talk to him in person as I have said some cruel things to him in my moments of pain and have not been able to sleep for my conscience bothering me and I wanted to ask his forgiveness for my meaness in person. I didn’t contact him to let him know I was coming because I wanted fate to decide. He wasn’t home so I left the gift with a note on his door and told him I wanted to talk to him. To my surprise, he called last night. I spilled my guts once again telling him how much I love him and that I am not ready to let him go. He was very sweet through my sobbing and is always the first to tell me I deserve better. I want to be a part of his life, in whatever capacity he can give me at this time. I was totally exposed. It felt like my heart was on the outside of my chest and I didn’t have the strength to even lift my hand. But, today, I felt strong enough to go on and face another day as I enjoyed the memory of our talk. This is a process that I must go through and let it happen until it comes to it’s own end. He said I owed him no apology as all I had done was love him. He feels he has been so bad in his lifetime that he does not deserve happiness and whenever he starts to feel happiness, he runs away. I hope one day to gain his trust so that he trusts my feelings for him and will trust his heart to me. Last night is the first time he has admitted that he believes my feelings for him are real and sincere. That was a huge step.

I thank all who have commented and offered your comfort and your suggestions to help me through this. I greatly appreciate you care for me while on this journey.

Hoping for Love, Yours truly, Lucy Loveless

You have been calling your boo all day they have not picked up the phone. This is not the first time they have been unavaliable. What do you do? ! Don’t go into stalker mode…. Do know that if someone wants to talk to you they will call you back. ( so stop calling, wait until you get an answer from you first calls) Do remember that the person might be better at this game than you. Don’t feel bad because this person is testing you. do call someone else that wants to talk to you. Do understand that you will show strenght and respect for yourself . Do have a stand off with them DON’T CALL! In the end you will feel empowered and respected. Remember, you won’t lose what you don’t have. If they love you the will stop playing this stupid but nessary game.

Love Strategies