I’m still working my way through this stuff, but I found a book online that was called “Men Made Easy.” I have started reading it and it seems to be a lot of things that I have known all along and just have refused, or unknowingly haven’t, put into action. I thought I would share this great find from Kara Oh and let everyone know about this book. Perhaps as I start attempting to implement these suggestions in my daily life, things will start to change for me.

Anyway, here’s to hoping right?!

I have discovered part of what it is about My Cute Boy that makes me feel the way that I do about him.

For the first time in my life, for the first relationship in my life, be it friends or lovers, I have found someone who is secure enough within themselves that they encourage me to be strong, independent and successful. For the first time I am with someone who does not anger easily, who isn’t jealous when I talk to other people, who doesn’t feel I need to be the quiet and supportive housewife that stands behind everything that they do. I have found someone who wants me to be exactly everything that I am. Strong, independent, social and outgoing.

My Cute Boy has been texting me all day while he is at work. This is very unusual for him as he usually is so absorbed in his work that he doesn’t even look at his cell phone until he gets off, which is a very positive thing due to the work he does. But today has been extremely slow. I was out doing yard work and told him that I needed someone to help come take care of my tree because I am afraid of heights. He told me I should get over my fear and take care of my tree. I told him that there were two things that I could not seem to get over my fear of, heights and grasshoppers. And he replied, ‘Why not fix that and be able to do anything?’ When I told him no way, he replied that he thought it was ‘endearing I was able to do anything but heights and grasshoppers’. Someone who wants me to always try to improve myself and yet is happy with the way I am? What is this??

My Love,

How many letters have I written trying to reach you?

Holding back all I fell for you and the love I NEED to share with you is changing me!

I am increasingly having difficulty concentrating on daily tasks and my spirit is becomming more depressed.

My loving and caring heart (for other people) is becoming numb with each passing day.

I must know what you want from this relationship… NOW!!!

As much as it is uncomfortable for you to speak to me, you simply must (in some way) explain what this relationship means to you.

I must know your hopes and desires for our future.

I MUST SEE A INTEREST IN SEEKING HEALTH FOR YOURSELF !!!

I MUST know what “Love” you want and need from me and what you do not… YOU HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR ME !!!!!

Whatever I have done in the past; trying to bring you closer to me and building our love, has either been wrong or you have simply forgotten what my love used to mean to you.

I honestly feel you have replaced me as your husband with either the medications you jealously protect or a general lack of interest in me.

WHATEVER IT IS… you must respond to me. I must know if you wish to regain what we used to have or if you want something else entirely!

Time is vicious and waits for no one. Our lives are passing us by and we are just watching it from the sidelines!

All we have to do is remember what we mean to each other; how BLESSED we are to have this love; and start pouring it out on each other !!!!!!!!!!!!

I Love and Miss You!

Yo Man!!

I am new to this website and am excited to get started on my blog! I am hoping that what I have to say not only helps others, but that what they have to say will also help me. I am very willing to share every aspect of my life, but upon doing so, I will attempt to remain anonymous and everyone will be given their own nicknames.

I am a single mother. I have been a single mother since June of 2006. It’s been very difficult for me from the beginning because although I was primarily a stay at home mom prior to my separation (I only worked part time), I never knew the amount of strength that it would take me to get through the trials that I have found waiting for me on this side of things.

I left my husband of seven years in June 2006 after finding out in May that he had been having a long term affair on me. I moved myself and my children to Idaho in June 2006. That was when we officially separated. I finally gave up every effort to make things work in December 2006. I went through all of 2007, struggling to make sense of my life. Going back and forth between dating and trying to make things work with him. My heart really wasn’t into doing either. After debating for a year about what to do, I finally decided to just take some “me” time and some time to be the mother to my children that had, through all of this, been missing for them. On April 1, 2008, I filed for divorce. In September 2006, I was able to finalize the divorce by default. It seemed that things would start getting better. However this began the constant cycle of him claiming that he missed me, that he wished we could make things work “for the sake of the children”, and that he “just wanted ‘us’ back again.” Talk that he still continues to this day.

Thus begins the newest chapter in my life. The ‘dating’ single mother…

I recently got back in touch with an old friend of mine, let’s just call him My Cute Boy. We have been friends through all of high school, crushing on each other back and forth through high school and until we both were engaged to be married. For nearly six years we never had a time where we were both ’single’ together. Upon us both marrying, we lost touch for nearly seven years. Now, we are both divorced. We got back in touch and upon talking again, instantly hit things off as if we had never been separated, and began spending all our time together catching up on the seven years we had been apart. We started spending quite a bit of time together in deep conversations about everything, telling each other all the ins and outs of our respective divorces (his being much, much worse than I ever dreamed a divorce could be), all night telephone conversations, talking about things that bothered us, dinner, movies, and the confusing part….although we follow all the notions of ‘dating’ he continued to claim that we were not dating. In January 2006 I moved down to Utah and he arranged for him and three of his friends to come up to Idaho and move me and my boys down to Utah.

Then finally (six months after getting back in touch), after being on the phone for nearly three hours one night, he came out and asked me if I had ever thought about dating him. He told me that he really wanted to start ‘dating’ me and that he believed we should give it a try. Every single one of our mutual friends claimed that it was ‘obvious’ and that it was ‘inevitable’. No one was surprised by the fact that he finally put a name to what we were doing. The first night we spent together he told me that ‘I was everything that he was not’ he told me that ‘I filled in all his holes’ he said he thought that ‘We would be really good at this’ and that ‘We fit each other perfectly.’ He also told me that there was no one that he trusted enough to completely be himself around he said there was something about himself that he kept from everyone, one friend he didn’t be opinionated around, etc. and so I asked him what part of himself he didn’t allow me to see and after a very long pause, he replied that he ‘hadn’t figured that out yet because he trusted me with his emotions, his opinions, his true personality and generally himself.’ A mere three weeks later, he decided that we needed to stick to being just friends because he was afraid that we would ruin our friendship, he wanted to just be ‘friends that hung out together an awful lot’ and he had figured out what part of himself he didn’t allow me to see completely, his intimate side. And thus began the most dreadful confusion.

He began hanging out with me and my closest friends. Ones that he didn’t know. And every time he would make many comments that led everyone to believe that he was truly interested in being more than just my friend. My very good friend and her husband, let’s just call them My S.O. Friends, were with My Cute Boy and I at dinner and her hubby stated that since I was going to be moving back to Idaho, ‘There would now be something to *DO* in Idaho.’ My Cute Boy responded saying, ‘I’d go to Idaho to *DO* that!’ And the rest of us all almost blew our respective drinks straight through our noses. Thus begins the incredible confusion that has started my life with My Cute Boy, because to make a very long story short, I am completely head over heels in love with my very best friend…My Cute Boy.

Hello fellow bloggers. In my last post I had left off right when I met Cory, my farm boy from Apple River. We had our first date on April 10th, of this year. Like most, I was incredibly nervous and overly worried that Cory wouldn’t like me because I’m plus sized. The fact that I couldn’t get ‘Unbeautiful’ by Lesley Roy out of my head didn’t help either–that song had become my theme song after Ryan left me. I felt like that song was written just for me and couldn’t help but have tears in my eyes every time it was on the radio. Of course this song was most popular right around that time and we all know how radio stations overplay the current hits, so needless to say, I heard it non stop. Getting back to Cory, I would say our first day was pretty average–we went to dinner and a movie and he just dropped me off at my place afterwards. No kiss goodnight, just a quick goodbye. I wouldn’t say the first date was overly great or anything but I knew enough to know I wanted to see them again.

As if things aren’t awkward enough on a second date, I happened to have a friend getting married the next weekend and reluctantly asked him to attend with me–after all, who wants to go to a wedding alone? Much to my surprise, he said yes–then and their I know he was different than most guys. We continued to talk on yahoo messenger every day, getting to know each other more and more. I came to know just how different he was from anyone I’d ever dated. He had never been on a date before me, never had a real relationship and despite all that, he knew how to treat a girl.

Every weekend since we met with the exception of one (I was sick with a kidney stone, throwing up nonstop and didn’t want him to see me like that) he came to Dubuque (an hour away) to be with me. Everytime he came it got harder and harder to say goodbye. Some nights he wouldn’t leave for home until 3 in the morning. Finally after a couple months he began spending the night with me. When it was time for me to move from my apartment, he began spending the whole weekend. No matter how much time I get to spend with him, its never enough!

Sorry to end here bloggers, but its time for me to sign off for the night! I’ll get into more detail next time!

Sweet dreams and peace to all!

Sweetheart Sara

Hi there all you love bloggers! Seeing as how this is my very first post here, I thought I’d catch you up on oh, say, the last 18 months of my life. Without all of that, it can be hard to see why I appreciate what I’ve got going on now–so lets step back to January of 2008. I had been single for about a year and a half, maybe even a little more. I was 22 at the time and had been in and out of several relationships, none of them lasting very long, and none of them getting very serious. I had dated plenty of guys (which may be surprising considering I’m a plus size girl) but most of them only wanted one thing–sex, and thats not what I was interested in. So needless to say, I, like thousands of other girls, was looking for ‘the one’. I had been living with my cousin at the time and her boyfriend knew a single guy that he worked with, so he decided to set us up. I met Mike a few days after talking to him on the phone and things went pretty well on our first date and we decided to keep seeing each other. He lived about an hour and a half away so we would text and talk on the phone during the week and since he was only off every other weekend, he would usually stay at my place on my days off. He was willing to pay for things which was nice, but it pretty much ended there. Days would go by and I wouldn’t hear from him. I’d leave him message after message and get nothing in return. My birthday came around in March and he did actually show up for that, but then that was the last time I ever saw him. He pretty much fell off the face of the earth. My cousins boyfriend still saw him at work, but he wouldn’t really talk to him. Mike broke so many promises and took my virginity and I then I never heard from him again. Slighty heartbroken, it was a few months before I was ready to take the leap again. I posted an ad on Craigslist and waited. I met one guy from there who I dated for about two weeks, but he was such a creep, I told him it was over. He was always trying to feel me up and I was afraid he was going to rape me. I moved after I left him and he found out where. One day when I was leaving to go to work, I found brand new 4 in bolts behind my tires. Had I not seen them, I would have had 4 very flat tires. Then in the beginning of October 2008, I received a response from Ryan. We chated online for a few weeks and decided to meet. Things clicked and before you knew it we were living together, although looking back I know that was one of my biggest mistakes. We moved way to fast and I didn’t do my homework before I allowed him to move in. Things went great for a while and then I found out he was bi-polar, which I could live with, but he refused to take meds for it. I also found out after the fact that he was in jail and into drugs (just my luck). He didn’t have his own cell phone when we were dating so I stupidly gave him one to use. For some reason that I fail to see now, I had loved him with all my heart and was willing to do everything for him. He was unemployed and couldn’t afford anything so I paid the house payment, utilities, paid for food, gas in his car, his bowling league, gave him that cell phone, and more. I guess I was just so happy to be in a relationship I didn’t care at the time. Looking back, I don’t know how I was so happy. He never wanted to spend time with me, he would stay up and play on the computer all night and sleep all day. He was always in a bad mood. What the hell was I thinking?? Then in February (after he had finally gotten a job and been working there for a couple weeks) he wouldn’t come home until 4 in the morning a few nights a week. He said he was out with friends, and I accepted that–until I got the cell phone bill. He had been texting an out of area number all day everyday and had gone over $200 over his texting plan. I found this out the day before Valentines Day and was going to confront him that day, but he never came home. I called and texted with no response. I did a little digging and found out that the number that he was texting and calling was girl he worked with–he was having an affair. He came home the next day (Valentines Day) to tell me he was leaving me. I was heartbroken and devastated. Not to mention as a result of everything I had given up for him, I was losing everything I had worked for. Once he had gotten a job he was supposed to start contributing and paying me back, which I never saw one cent of. So, I ended up losing my house that I loved, was thousands of dollars in debt, not to mention he stole some of my valuable things when he moved out. I cried for days after the fact, although now I really just can’t understand what I was so upset about. I wasn’t really losing anything thing–he took everything I had, what was left to lose? I was so physically and emotionally drained from this relationship. I quickly went from heartbroken to furious when I found out about all his infidelity and how his best friend looked me in the face and lied to me. I don’t really know if it was my being furious or wanting a boyfriend so badly that I went back to craiglist. Fail me once, shame on you–fail me twice, shame on me. On February 21st, 2009 I came across a male listing–”Country Boys Seeks Female”. I read it and was interested and sent a replying inquiring more about him. On February 23rd, I received a reply back. For a month and a half Country Boy Cory and I sent daily emails back and fourth and also talked on yahoo instant messanger. After that month and half, he asked me out, and I said yes. We had our first date on April 10th. My type has always been the tall boys, but I was unprepared for just how tall Cory was when I opened the door to my apartment. I’m what I consider to be average height (5′5”) and Cory is 6′9”, almost a foot and a half taller than me! I dont’ know where I intitally thought the relationship was going to go, but I think I was unprepared for how fast I would fall in love with the farm boy from Apple River…

To be continued….

Sweetheart Sara

Yes, that is right. I finally had a major mental breakdown. Complete with a visit to a psychiatrists office with follow-up visits scheduled. All because I tried to force men who did not want me, to want me which set myself up for rejection and when the 4th one rejected me, it was more than my heart, soul and mind could bare and I lost it. Now, I am truly on the road to a recovery but this time with the tools I need which really gives me hope. My hope is that we discover why I have this bottomless pit of hunger for being loved by a man and how to fill that hole with whatever needs to be there. I really am hoping to find out how to have a positive and long lasting relationship or how to live a fulfilled life without one. Whichever way God wants it, I need to be prepared to handle it and right now, I am not, I realize that I am not and am very willing to try to figure all of this out. Wish me luck.

I hope you all are doing great!

Love,

Lucy

It has been a while since I have posted. When it is a love/relationship site and there is no love nor relationship, sometimes it’s hard to contribute. My 49th birthday is Saturday. It has me very depressed just because I reflect on my past decisions and where I am in my life and fear I will continue making those bad decisions and will continue to be where I am. It is not a good place. A job I hate, I rent a room from a friend so no home of my own, a car I can’t afford and no life mate. Whew! was that a pity part or what?? I have found myself thinking of Tommy alot this week and wondering if he will even think of me on my birthday or if he might call to wish me a happy day. I hope he doesn’t because I know it wouldn’t lead to anything good and I don’t need to go backwards. That would be repeating another one of those bad decisions and I am trying to break out of that habit. I have done so good for almost 60 days! Woo hoo!! Go me! Couldn’t do it without God taking care of me and I am thankful to Him for guarding my heart. I am trying to concentrate on the many blessings I have in my life and stop fretting over not having a man’s love. I will be fine and I know that. Here’s to a new year of new and smarter decisions!! (I HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Love,

Lucy for now

Loveless

I feel like I am supposed to receive a chip since I am a recovering Tommy addict. I have made it 30 days with making no contact whatsoever with him. This is a milestone for me and I am elated!! Go Me!! Actually, it is thanks be to God. He delivered me from the bondage just as I prayed for. There were several days in a row that I played the Chris Tomlin song “Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone”. That song helped set me free. I sang those words loud and strong and God heard and He removed the desire and the pain. Praise be to God. My eyes are open so much wider now. What an addiction Tommy became for me. I realize now what I am sure was obvious to everyone around me, that my addiction to Tommy was preventing me from being open to other men who might be the “right” one for me. After I woke up I realized that I for sure allowed 2 great men to get away and now one is in a serious relationship with someone and the other I am talking to again and hope to have the chance to talk to him about what I was going through and why it didn’t work out for us before. We shall see and I will keep you posted.

I hope if you are feeling hopeless on love you will read the blog on here by the Arkansas anchorwoman. What a story!!

Meanwhile. Love to you all. Thank you for reading and caring!!

Lucy

Read this incredible story of Little Rock news anchor, Courtney Collins. We are proud to publish her story and are looking forward to hear from you.

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At age 24, I had my whole life planned. I was engaged to the guy I’d spent six years getting to know. Mature life choice? Check! I was going to be married at 25. Reasonably, I’d have a few years to sink into my new, wifely role before the child bearing days pressed in. Kid one at 29, kid two at 32… perfect! I’m young enough to have peppy mom energy but old enough to avoid mom-out-of-college syndrome. By the time the children are both out of the nest, I’m 50. I have plenty of creative energy but a respectable amount of wisdom and life experience.

It’s so refreshing to know, at age 24, exactly how life will unfold. What’s equally invigorating, but less than pleasant, is when that entire plan heartbreakingly unravels in a matter of weeks.

I met a boy my freshman year of college and fell in love. We were nuts about each other in that giddy, 18-year-old way. We stuck together through four years of school, the post-college job search, and dutifully kept things going long-distance when our fledgling careers threw us in different states. We were happy and we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. When he proposed after five years and nine months of dating, I was ready to take the next step. I said yes, we set a date, we picked our wedding party. I couldn’t wait. Everything was going just like we had planned.

And that’s why I suddenly felt like the lone woman on a sinking ship when my fiancé asked if we could postpone things.

He had just started working as a sportscaster in Florida and I was finishing up my reporting job in Texas, so he wondered if we could wait until I moved to Fort Myers before nailing down a firm timeline. Let’s evaluate how we do as a “see each other every day” kind of couple before we set a date. Next came the questions. “Are we going to go out anymore once we’re married? Are we going to have a lot of boring, stay-at-home movie nights? Are you going to want me to wake up early on my days off?” With each loaded sentence of the interrogation, reality began to set in. The new job in Florida was going well and before he said “I do,” he wanted to see how I fit into the new picture. I, the girl he’d loved for nearly 6 years was being auditioned.

As stung and sad as I felt, some wise voice inside said I’d already been his “see each other every day” girlfriend in college. That voice whispered that I was not unreasonably opposed to nights at the bar and didn’t have an unusually strong affinity for Blockbuster. And hey! I liked to sleep late too! That voiced warned me that moving to Florida to prove myself could be disastrous. He wasn’t who I thought he was, so I summoned my courage and called things off.

We were both sick over it, but not enough to budge. I wasn’t willing to accept a demotion from fiancée to girlfriend; he wasn’t willing to move forward as planned. So I returned the ring and called the country club to cancel, and we began the slow, raw business of telling our friends and family the bad news.

Once everything was undone, the worst hit me. What the hell was I going to do? My now ex-fiancé had been in the picture too long; he was my first real boyfriend! We talked six times a day and we’d celebrated six birthdays together. He held my hair back after too many shots on New Year’s Eve. We were going to name our kids Jack and Katherine. How do you press reset after six years and start over?

At first, I just didn’t. We behaved as a lot of 24 year-old exes do, and talked too much. We still checked in and chatted. When something bad happened at work, I shot him an e-mail. When my apartment flooded, I tearfully called him up. Sure we weren’t engaged anymore but he was still the guy I turned to.

The one thing I can say about fate is it does, eventually, make an appearance. I spent the first ten weeks of my break-up telling myself that one day, my ex might change. He certainly seemed determined to win me back. He called a ton, stroked my ego, and promised he was trying to get over his “marriage issues.” He said he was nowhere near ready to date because he couldn’t stop thinking about me. He sent me drunken text messages and still occasionally blurted out declarations of love. I even romanticized the idea of us reuniting one day, older and wiser. Imagine my surprise and subsequent nausea when my college roommate called and told me that my ever attentive ex was dating someone, and had been, since two weeks after we called things off.

I was done. I called him up, said I was onto him, and asked him to leave me alone. It was like someone sprayed my face with cold water, handed me a towel and said, “do you get it now?” I did, and truthfully… I was relieved. Now I could open my mind to the thought of someone new. Someone who would run down the aisle with me. Someone who was honest. Someone who looked forward to a night at home, as long as it was a night at home with me.

Despite the crap cards I’d been dealt, I was feeling slightly optimistic. I had a lot of fun in the months following my epiphany. My friends and I took wild road trips and treated every random Wednesday like Mardi Gras. I slowly started to date, though it wasn’t exactly a parade of “Mr. Rights.” One guy had a few too many cocktails and actually told me during a party at his house that the National Weather Service was predicting ice, and I would have to sleep over. Not quite soul mate material. I was happy to be out there, but a little low that I hadn’t met anyone special.

After six months of single life, I landed a new job. I was moving to Little Rock to report for the NBC affiliate. New gig, new city, semi-new status. I was excited and terrified.

Not even a few days into life in Arkansas, I locked eyes with a 6’3” fellow reporter. He had gorgeous blond hair and sigh-worthy blue eyes but more importantly, an intelligent light that shone behind them. He was from Dallas, smiled easily, and was nice to even the dorkiest co-worker. He couldn’t get enough of his 4 year-old nephew, played guitar, loved dogs and just so happened to have read all the same books I couldn’t shut up about. We became fast friends. By the time he finally asked me out (a painstaking 14 days after we met), I practically screamed yes. Here was someone special.

We fell breathlessly in love. It’s funny, we’ve been joined at the hip for more than two years now… not exactly an eternity… but I can barely remember what life was like without him. Our relationship is as real as it comes. We’ve had some hard times; he unexpectedly lost his father three months after our first date. I’ve had my own issues rear their nasty little heads; any girl who’s been semi-jilted can tell you that insecurity is a guaranteed parting gift. But the amazing thing is, every hurdle thrown in our path, we managed to jump.

I’m now 27. I don’t know when I’m going to have my first child and I’m not sure how many I’ll have. But there are some things I do know. I know the man I’m with now is the man I’ll be with forever. If he doesn’t change one hair on his head, I’ll be happy with who he is for the rest of my life. And I am absolutely positive that making the toughest decision of my young life three years ago was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Courtney and Pete Thompson

The kind, smart, funny, talented man I’m with now proposed on live television. He walked onto our news set in the middle of a show I was anchoring and told everyone watching that I was the woman for him. He got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. Saying yes was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.

So if you’re broken hearted and angry, let yourself be. If you feel crushed and lost, that’s all right. But don’t let a sad twist in your story be the end of your story. Remember the sad 24 year-old that felt all alone when the guy she loved let her down. Sometimes in the midst of pain, confusion and heartache you stumble toward what you were meant to find.

In my case, I found hope. Who knew hope was a tall, handsome Pisces named Pete Thompson?

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Here you can view the video where Courtney’s fiance proposed live on air http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC1vzGq4kIo