I had a wonderful visit this weekend with a long time friend out of town. She invited me for a “ladies tea” which included food, tea and fellowship. When I arrived at her house, I felt as fragile as the porcelain teacups she served my tea in and wasn’t really sure I was emotionally ready to “visit”. But, when I arrived, God had already spoken to my friend and knew exactly what I needed to hear and she was the vessel to deliver my needed message. It started our visit out perfectly and I was able to feel peace the rest of my time there. Between her house and mine (which is 188 miles), is the small town that Tommy lives in. So, in my great desire to see him, I sent him a text message letting him know I was going to be near his town on Sunday and would like to see him. I heard nothing. I sent the message on Friday morning. I woke up around 2:30 on Sunday morning and resent the message. You know, just in case something happened that he didn’t get the first one. Still, nothing. My last ditch effort was a phone call (of course he didn’t answer) so I left a voicemail telling him I was an hour and half away from him so if he wanted to see this good looking woman, he better let me know and if he didn’t , well it was his loss. As I drove toward his town, no word. Never a word. Still, not a word. I wanted to ride by his house, but, I did not. On the rest of my drive home, I was thinking about everything and trying to make sense of any of it and wondering why in the world I keep allowing myself to get hurt over and over by men. I realized, I have a very deep “pain pocket” and I am so stubborn that until that pocket completely fills up and is ready to overflow, I just keep trying and trying to force things to work. His ignoring my phone call and message hurt IMMENSLY and poured alot of pain into that pocket. So when I got home, I was still thinking about all of it and I sent him an e-mail and I feel it was an excellent e-mail and I said the important things I needed to say and asked that he call me so we could discuss a possible conclusion to all of this confusion. I did tell him it wasn’t fair for me to continually be punished because of how I feel about him and it wasn’t fair to him for me to keep forcing him to hurt me by asking him to do things (like see me on Sunday) that he obviously did not want to do. So… I am hoping that one day I will hear from him and that he will realize he loves me, or he will hurt me deeply enough to make me finally turn away from him and begin to heal. Until then, please be aware of the depth of your own pain pocket and try to protect your heart.

Loveless? Lucy

If anyone sees a brain and a heart walking arm in arm with silly grins on their faces, they are mine. Please be kind and return them! Today I decided to get a tattoo. I designed one using mine and Tommy’s first initials entwined in a heart. I am very proud of my design and look forward to making it my “tramp stamp” as they call it. After deciding on the tatoo (which I haven’t gotten yet) I also came up with the big idea that I actually could make Tommy realize and accept that he DOES love me. … like I said, if you see that brain and that heart…. please return them to me. I obviously need them back!

Would love to hear your comments on these decisions.

Your blog pal,

Lucy

The decision not to see “Tommy” was mine and I told him so on January 24, 2009 after the best ever New Year’s Eve of my life spent with him. I just didn’t feel strong enough to go yet another year waiting for my phone to ring and putting my life on hold so I told him to please not call me again. That lasted 3 weeks. On my way from visiting out of town yesterday I stopped by his house to deliver a momento of our New Year’s Eve that I had made for him. I wanted to talk to him in person as I have said some cruel things to him in my moments of pain and have not been able to sleep for my conscience bothering me and I wanted to ask his forgiveness for my meaness in person. I didn’t contact him to let him know I was coming because I wanted fate to decide. He wasn’t home so I left the gift with a note on his door and told him I wanted to talk to him. To my surprise, he called last night. I spilled my guts once again telling him how much I love him and that I am not ready to let him go. He was very sweet through my sobbing and is always the first to tell me I deserve better. I want to be a part of his life, in whatever capacity he can give me at this time. I was totally exposed. It felt like my heart was on the outside of my chest and I didn’t have the strength to even lift my hand. But, today, I felt strong enough to go on and face another day as I enjoyed the memory of our talk. This is a process that I must go through and let it happen until it comes to it’s own end. He said I owed him no apology as all I had done was love him. He feels he has been so bad in his lifetime that he does not deserve happiness and whenever he starts to feel happiness, he runs away. I hope one day to gain his trust so that he trusts my feelings for him and will trust his heart to me. Last night is the first time he has admitted that he believes my feelings for him are real and sincere. That was a huge step.

I thank all who have commented and offered your comfort and your suggestions to help me through this. I greatly appreciate you care for me while on this journey.

Hoping for Love, Yours truly, Lucy Loveless

Are we designed to Cheat?
One of the main concerns most people have when it comes to a romantic relationship, is whether or not their partner will stay faithful to them. We often never stop to ask ourselves if we will be able to stay faithful to our partners, but instead shift all our focus on our partners, as if they are the only one who will face that temptation.

Do all people cheat eventually? Is it an evitable act that is sure to happen sooner or later because we are designed by nature to mate with a lot of partners to reproduce?

There is bad and good news here. Like life in general, relationships come with a package of both bad and good things. Positive and negative go hand in hand in life and it is something we all have to learn and accept as a part of our lives. Rather than fight it, we should embrace both the good and bad that comes into our lives and use it to help us grow wiser and achieve a truly healthy and solid that can truly be based on honesty, trust and understanding.

The truth is, we all will feel attracted to several people in our lifetime. Some of us will feel attracted to a lot of other people, while the rest will only feel attracted to a selected few. Regardless of which one you are, the point is- we all feel attracted to other people besides our partner. Does this mean we will all eventually be unfaithful? No, not at all! It does, however, mean that temptation will come around every now and then and it is the responsibility of both partners to recognize those temptations when do they come along, so they can be dealt with in the best way possible.

Read the rest of Alina’s article here.

Keeping Love Healthy with Money Problems Money may not everything, but it also isn’t just anything. It helps us not only to survive, but also allows us to enjoy other luxuries and do many enjoyable things with the ones we love. Money also gives us the strength and confidence to chase after our dreams and assists us in making them come true.

When money is short such as in the credit crunch and debt is involved however, it can affect your romantic relationship, no matter how much you and your partner may love each other. This is because when you go from a life of comfort to a life of struggle and unwanted change, it creates stress for everyone involved and patience can be short. When patience is short, it causes people to be easily annoyed with each other and they tend to snap at each other quickly due to all the worries on their mind.

Can money problems and a credit crunch ruin a good romantic connection? It can- but it doesn’t have to! With all the financial trouble out there today, it is very likely you will find yourself in some money trouble sooner or later.

Read here to see the rest of this article on Love-Sessions