Today was a “half and half” day. I had moments of joy and moments of sadness. I was finally able to look at a picture of Tommy without it ripping my heart out ,so that was good. Yesterday I bought two birthday cards to send to him because they both said what I wanted to say. I don’t expect or want to hear from him when he gets them unless he is ready to settle down and really try to have a true relationship with me. If he wanted to, I would definitely try. I don’t think I will hear anything though and that is fine. I am prepared for that and will be fine. I feel myself getting stronger every day but I still am unable to get back on my regular sleep routine at night. I stay up very late and then sleep only a few hours at a time. I don’t know what is up with that. Today, for some reason, I just felt like he and I will some day end up together and it made me feel so good. That has to be delirium kicking in from the lack of sleep. I know no other exlpanation for such crazy thoughts! The sad moment was as I looked at his picture, but it was a sadness that I can deal with and one I know will go away with time.

Like my daughter said, “Don’t make someone a priority when you are an “option” to them”. And, unfortunately I guess that is all I was for Tommy. Just one more option…..

Hey, keep your options open!

Love to you all

Lucy