~My dying heart~

When I was young I asked my great grandmother what it was like falling in love? She told me it was like putting your arms out and spinning round and round really fast. After that I couldn’t wait to fall in love.

I met a boy years later in my computer class. I caught him staring at me a couple of times and I immediately fell in love with him. He was everything my great grandmother told me, when I got home I was spinning and my stomach had butterflies. I called my great grandmother and told her about my feelings.

My friend in my form tutor was planning her sweet sixteen, I asked if I could do her hair and makeup because I want to be a beautician when im old enough. She said yes and we were very excited. I wanted to impress the boy I loved so much so I got a white dress with crystals on it, fabulous accessories, sparkling makeup, curly hair and my great grandmother gave me her real crystal necklace in a shape of a heart. It was beautiful. I was so excited.

I will never forget the time my friend told me that she was asked out as her date to her sweet sixteen… by the boy I was in love with!
I was crushed.

I remember when I got home I chucked my school bag on my bed and started crying my eyes out and screaming into a pillow. I buried myself under my duvet all alone thinking about him and my best friend. It was killing me. My stomach kicked me which made the pain worse.

The next day in form she just talked about him the whole time, then she mentioned them talking in English class. And he asked her out to prom IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY!

It was a nightmare! I got home; changed into my grey tracksuit bottoms, white Nike shoes, white top and leather jacket. Then I stormed out of the house and ran off somewhere far away, found a McDonalds and went over to the lake and stayed there for hours. I came home and went to sleep.

I called my great grandmother and told her everything but she told me, “Give it some time and things will work out, if you love him and he loves you, God will find a way to bring you together.”

She’s old but very wise, I trust her, especially when she has lived a full life. She’s very powerful as well, she just the most amazing woman in the world.

Soon things just got worse. All my mate does now is talk about the boy, I hate hearing his name over and over. It just brings back my old feelings and makes my heart ache and my stomach kicking itself.

Soon my great grandmother got very ill and now she’s not doing very well. I’m worried for her; I can’t even visit her in Syria this summer because of the war. I wanted to see her and take care of her.

My whole life’s turning around now and not in a good way. I don’t know what to do now. My great grandmother might be dying and my friend is going out with the boy I love more than life itself. And i regret everyday single day and i cant believe my goddamn bad luck he now loves my best friend. What should I do now?

(Screen) Name: ayoosh (aya) sofia



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