I’m 20 and I’ve been dating a girl since I was 15. I’ve had other less serious girlfriends before her but I am her first serious boyfriend. At the beginning of our relationship I would talk to her about wanting to get married and have kids someday, but now that we’re in separate universities I’ve been feeling that I want to try being single again, at least for a little bit.
I know how shallow it sounds but I don’t want to grow up and basically have been married since 15. I would like to have the freedom to “Test the waters” but at the same time I know that if I break up with her after 5 years I’m not sure how she will handle it, especially with all the stress from her school. I still really care for her and if I had the chance I’d like to marry her someday. But I’m just not ready for it yet.
I didn’t know how to end a relationship that was going so well and we’ve been doing the long distance thing for almost 2 years now. We fought a lot last year but we’re better at it this year, although I still sometimes find her really clingy, like she can’t last a day by herself. For example, I have a way to make a lot of money this upcoming summer by going away for 2 months or so. The money will easily cover my next year’s school tuition but she obviously will be pissed at me if I leave.
I cant tell her any of these thoughts I’m having because she will automatically take it as me not loving her anymore (she seems to view the world in a totally “black and white, all or nothing” kind of way). I just don’t know what I should do. Please, can anyone help me?

(Screen) Name: Questioning



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