It Was Over Before It Even Started

Hey, i’m going to tell you my story. It all started about a month ago. A guy in my Tech class has caught my attention before by his good looks. I do believe the first thing he ever said to me was “Like my wood ;)?” because he was holding a piece of wood haha.. Anyways, He was a major flirt twards me for at least a month and it was slowly progressing. Of course at first I didn’t really think about all the attention that he was giving me but then I relised and I joined in on the flirting. He got touchy; at first thing he did was over the top which was smacking my butt so hard that it hurt to sit. After, it cooled down. He’d say really sweet things to me over Facebook and through texting also during class. He would give me nice big warm long hugs, and when I’d be laying on my desk with my arms out he’d put his head right next to mine. He’d even take my hands and kinda play with them in a cute little way. Everything was slowly working up and I finally relised that I liked him ALOT. I would be so shy around him and always blush and be awkward.We’d also always text everyday, and he admited that he liked me alot.

On the first day of Easter break my mom ruined it all for my by telling me that were 6th cousins.. Turns out that our grandmas are related somehow but it’s not by blood so it wasn’t a big deal. Being half freaked out and not thinking much of it, I texted him about it we kinda joked around, despite the fact that we were both freaked out, and it got kinda awkward. Before bed at 11:30pm I texted him basically saying “Sorry about earlier, I hope you still like me”. He replied with a message that made my heart sink. The message said this: “I do like you, but I have to tell you something because I can’t keep leading you on. I like you a lot but I can’t date girls, I find myself to be strapped down and to feel like I’m controlled. I’m telling you because I’ll end up just hurting you more and I can’t do that.I know this sounds so harsh and yes I know, I’m an ass hole but it’s better if you stay away from liking me because you will just get hurt”. I read it and was like WTF. I tried to make sense of it all and that just made me cry. I had no idea what to do. I texted back basically saying that I understand what he’s trying to say, and it’s to late because I fell for him. I thanked him for kind of giving me a “heads up” I said that we could still like each other without having to date, and that we could just have a “thing”. I also offered that if he wants to talk more that I would be there for him. I tried texting him twice on Easter, and he didn’t reply.

On Tuesday when school started up again we didn’t even talk. He probably though I was mad at him because my body language suggested that I was bitchy, so he didn’t even bother talking to me. My friends said he kept eyeballing me. I tried to avoid his gaze, and I was successful at doing so. Today, my group was gone, so I was the only one sitting at my table. I was terribly lonely so I moved to his, which also had 2 other people at it. He actually talked to me first, and we had mini conversations. He kept cracking jokes and I kept laughing at them. We caught each others gaze a few times and each gave each other a little smile. Other then that, I was extremely quiet and the whole thing just felt awkward because I’m used to us talking all the time and acting different twards each other.

I still really like him and I think he still likes me also. If you like someone long enough to chase them, you can’t just drop them right away. I’ve been kinda depressed about the whole thing. I want to fix things, but I don’t no if I should or how. For now I’m going to go with the flow, but I’m still holding on and I don’t want to lose him this soon. Thanks for reading all of this and if you have any questions or advice then please let me know.

(Screen) Name: Molly

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