Made A Mistake In Love & now suffering

I was in 18 , 12th class,  Smart , studious , Cricket Team captain , well behaved , Joyfull guy . I had no. of female friends , I got attracted to a girl named Geetima , she was Beautifull , studious , her smile always mesmerised me , I use to look at her turning back in the class , she was in a group of 5 girls , they use to stay together all the time , during class sessions , in break . Most of the time what use to happen was , I use to see Geetima and some other girl in her group use to watch me and start smiling and use to think like I am looking at her and not Geetima . Geetima had a friend named Shiksha , they were besties  they both use to stay together . And whenever I use to see Geetima , it seemed to evryone like I am staring at shiksha , but I liked Geetima , I was just meamerised by her , I liked her voice , her Eyes were like an addictive drug and the time when she use to give me a smile , I use to feel like today is going to be a best day . She somewhere knew that I like her ,even if a doubt though , but she use to catch me most of the time whenever I  use to secretly look at her .

On ther hand evryone in the class started thinking that I stare At shiksha and that I like her , but I didn’t , she was a Preety girl , sweet too but I never thght anything about her in that sense .

What happend is evryone starting pulling my leg that we know you like her(shiksha) , but I didn’t like her in that way , I use to like Geetima and loved to see her smile . Evryone kept on teasing me and shiksha by each other’s name , shiksha liked me I knew that , but I couldn’t tell anyone of them that I liked Geetima , now today I feel how dumb I was to shy to tell that I like Geetima and not Shiksha . anyhow , back to the story in the end what happend was I started blvng like yes I think I like shiksha . But the truth was I just liked the thought that I am going to have a girl frnd and shiksha is ready to be my gf , I have to just purpose her and I ll be boy with a gf .

I purposed her and she accepted , evrything was good till frst 3 months or so & then we started fighting with each other on each and evry thing , she use to scream at me and I use to avoid her calls then , she started keeping thi kha from me , our arguements started turning into fights , at last I took the innitiative to take the blame and break up with her , she cried a lot , a lot , she loved me , but I was a pretty sure that I am not going to drop this decision of break up , she tried a lot-a lot to stop me but I didn’t .

She cried a lot , I use to feel  terrible when lookin. At her crying for me , begging me not to go , but I was a dumb asshole , I didn’t agree , and I was so disturbed by that relationship that although I knew how it felt like when someone breaks up with you , that time itself I started feeling the guilt that I am making her suffer a lot but still I didn’t even say once that “okk I ll not go. , we ll not break up” after few months of breakup she started recovering , I use to appologise her her all the time for the pain that I have her , but at the same time I didn’t wanted to live with her , I cared about her , but I didn’t wanted to be her BF . I kept on appologising to her for 4 years , sorry shiksha for the pain I gave to you & she use to say all the time it’s okk I have forgiven you ,still I didn’t felt satisfied by Myslef , after 4 years she started bitching about me , that’s when I realised that yes she has atlast moved on .

Today it has been 5 years since we broke out with each other , & still today the worst mistake that I made in my life was giving Shiksha That Pain.!! I still feel I shouldn’t have played with her feelings when I was not sure of mine .

Consequences of the mistake I made Are.. 1.) Shiksha had to ho though such intense pain , 2.) Although I still dnt love her but I am still in regret of giving her the pain that I might have not given her if I would have realised that if shiksha likes me I should not jump onto the opportunity without even considering the future aspect . 3.) I could never go back to Geetima to tell her that Geetima I like you , give me a chance and I ll prove to you that I am not a cheater . Geetima is still frnds to shiksha , and from the day I broke out with Shiksha , I have never been able to look into the eyes of Geetima , those pretty eyes which Used to mesmerise me evry time I looked at her .

I met Geetima afyer 4 years today in Chandigarh . And all I could do was look onto her eyes and when she turned her face towards me I started  acting like I am talking to someone else .

I wish I could just tell her that I am not the guy that she thinks I am , I made a mistake , I mistakingly hurted Shiksha , I didn’t cheat on her , I didn’t two time , I am myself feeling the regret , I am Myslef appologising to your friend Ahiksha from the past 5 years atleast ask her if you dnt believe me . If I  can’t be her(Geetima)partner , then atleast try to understand that I am not the devil kind of a guy ,as u think Geeti..a .

Anyways , I hope who ever reads my story , will atleast learn something from my MISTAKE.!!

My first love

It all started when all the girls in my class were gathered around the ‘player‘ in our grade. We were all literally around him and we were asking him who he likes because it was a certain that he really likes someone among us.

We were all saying each others’ name and he’d say no to every single one of them. Then came mine. When my name was called out, he looked at me in the eyes and didn’t say a word. Everyone caught onto that apparently because even the class president decided to make us an official couple.

As i was young and naive, i just like him because, well, he’s hot.

But what i realised as i got to know him a lot better that he was never  a player, i was his second girlfriend. and he was a lot more kinder than everyone thought he was. N0t just that, he’s very loyal and he’d get jealous and mad whenever i hung out with guys and i’d cheer him up saying that i only love him.

In class, he sits in front of me so we’d hold hands secretly. We’d argue so often and would make up like nothing happened. We’d hide at the back of the class room and he’d sneak a cheek kiss and thats when i tell myself ‘wow, i’m in love with this guy

Of course every relationship have its ups and downs, we’d fight and make up but after high school we went to different colleges and it was weird. We tried to the very end to make the long distance relationship work. Well at least he thinks he tried.

The college i went to, a few of his friends also go there so i expect him to ask them about me. So as i was walking back to the dorm with a guy friend talking about a tv show we both loved, i thought about how his friends might see me with this guy and get the wrong idea so when i got home, i texted him saying i was walking to the dorm with a guy friend. Guess he couldn’t take it anymore and he said ‘ you like him, don’t you? that’s why you’re telling me this’

I tried. I tried to explain, but before i did he said ‘ let’s break up, i can’t take this anymore, i love you and all but it’s really hard to trust you and i hope we can be friends

and i didn’t even try to stop him.

I just let him go.

I wish i didn’t let him go that easily.

Now he’s gone

I want him to come back

Please.

My crush for neighbour women

i am a guy of 24 years, i am having crush on my neighbour who is married but not satisfies with her husband….. one day i was peeping from my window into her bedroom… i saw her half nude my dick got fully erect and i started jerking seeing her half nude body actually she was in bra and panty only….. i started sweating badly as i was frieghtened to get caught if she notice me peeping into her private area…. now i wanna fuck her badly..