Is dis love or attraction

i dont know how it started bt yes it did…!! i fear to confess it to you for two reasons for u rejecting me either or i ll be breaking ur heart at a point when i could no longer go against my dad whom i love equally .during college days it may be our friends who use to pull our legs about each other…bt yes suddenly my heart made to a point where i secretly started admiring u ,waiting for the sun to rise so i could meet u nxt day in class if was a holiday i wld prompt my close friend to come to the market along wd me so that her bf could come for her though dragging u along with him…eagerly waited for festivals just to allow ur friends make a deliberate wrong call so dat we cld talk …they wld make u drink a little as it trnd my secret benifit coz nrmly u shyd off tlkng to me and i hated that .everybody except u cld see the glow n blush my face beared while we mistakenly had ny conversations..i lykd u to come and ask mesmethng anythng atlest relatd abt studies…buttrflies jumped n danced when it was ur brthdy…i wld willingly wait for me to make a call at 12 midnight ni secrtly made a wsh for ur long life n hapiness…and me waiting for my bday so if nt u ur frnds wld make d frst cal on bhlf of u..frnds mockng us n letting knw d whole cmps on sprts day though me crushng hard my desire to shout out loud yes its true atlst from my side…..going out with my frnds reqstng n pleading them to brng u n othr boys along..i wld always wait for a chance to just bump into u darling..d was d best moment for me invtng u for my bday treat ,dancing and frnds pushng me onto u in d bus at picnic final year …let me tell u a secrt it was my plan so dat i cld hug once in my lifetym ,holding ur hands wld warm n secure me for lifetym n i wld thank that drunkard friend who forced u to hold my hand n dance with me nonstop for half n hour ..i thght what if we cld not spend our future togethr at least for my sake wld confess my feelings to you see ended up confessng here as u were my first love..still its been a year we left clg n movd on in our rspctve lives i cld tell such a small thng to u ….fearng loosng u as a frnd at least..as i lft clg stoppd thnkng abt u..thought it was jst infatuation bt realisd it to be love until i met u again…for i pleaded god to nvr let it happen aftr clg knwing i wld nt be abl to cntrl myslf on ur mere sight..it was while leavng station wd my dad my steps started feeling heavy n my heart bleading..every step i took away from u felt light years..i cried to my hearts content on my seat berth knowing publicly no body wld neithr rcognise me n my feelings wld gt dsprsd amng d crowd…
from first tym i saw u till today i missd u always n like you a lot infact bt i hope to meet someone who wld fill d void creatd by my mistake…hope we meet where theres no boundary for anyone..i wld nvr blame u for my feelings my pain my foolishness my choice to love or like you..

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