Is dis love or attraction

i dont know how it started bt yes it did…!! i fear to confess it to you for two reasons for u rejecting me either or i ll be breaking ur heart at a point when i could no longer go against my dad whom i love equally .during college days it may be our friends who use to pull our legs about each other…bt yes suddenly my heart made to a point where i secretly started admiring u ,waiting for the sun to rise so i could meet u nxt day in class if was a holiday i wld prompt my close friend to come to the market along wd me so that her bf could come for her though dragging u along with him…eagerly waited for festivals just to allow ur friends make a deliberate wrong call so dat we cld talk …they wld make u drink a little as it trnd my secret benifit coz nrmly u shyd off tlkng to me and i hated that .everybody except u cld see the glow n blush my face beared while we mistakenly had ny conversations..i lykd u to come and ask mesmethng anythng atlest relatd abt studies…buttrflies jumped n danced when it was ur brthdy…i wld willingly wait for me to make a call at 12 midnight ni secrtly made a wsh for ur long life n hapiness…and me waiting for my bday so if nt u ur frnds wld make d frst cal on bhlf of u..frnds mockng us n letting knw d whole cmps on sprts day though me crushng hard my desire to shout out loud yes its true atlst from my side…..going out with my frnds reqstng n pleading them to brng u n othr boys along..i wld always wait for a chance to just bump into u darling..d was d best moment for me invtng u for my bday treat ,dancing and frnds pushng me onto u in d bus at picnic final year …let me tell u a secrt it was my plan so dat i cld hug once in my lifetym ,holding ur hands wld warm n secure me for lifetym n i wld thank that drunkard friend who forced u to hold my hand n dance with me nonstop for half n hour ..i thght what if we cld not spend our future togethr at least for my sake wld confess my feelings to you see ended up confessng here as u were my first love..still its been a year we left clg n movd on in our rspctve lives i cld tell such a small thng to u ….fearng loosng u as a frnd at least..as i lft clg stoppd thnkng abt u..thought it was jst infatuation bt realisd it to be love until i met u again…for i pleaded god to nvr let it happen aftr clg knwing i wld nt be abl to cntrl myslf on ur mere sight..it was while leavng station wd my dad my steps started feeling heavy n my heart bleading..every step i took away from u felt light years..i cried to my hearts content on my seat berth knowing publicly no body wld neithr rcognise me n my feelings wld gt dsprsd amng d crowd…
from first tym i saw u till today i missd u always n like you a lot infact bt i hope to meet someone who wld fill d void creatd by my mistake…hope we meet where theres no boundary for anyone..i wld nvr blame u for my feelings my pain my foolishness my choice to love or like you..

In love with two people

I have been in a long, on again- off again relationship with my partner for over ten years now. We have a child together no less. However, my partner has mistreated me several times over the years, sometimes stepping into the realms of abuse. I have always loved him but I have been feeling every time we have broken up and gotten back together that my heart has been becoming more and more guarded with him. Like I can never completely love him like I did. I feel guilty for this but at the same time I feel it neccesary because I really don’t feel like I can handle being hurt by him much more. Still, we are engaged and I am trying to be as loving with him as my heart will allow.
My problem is I have always felt a connection with a good friend of mine. We have been friends for 3 years. About a month ago, when I was feeling particularly sad and having a moment where I was considering suicide, I confessed my feelings to this friend. In the 3 years I have known him he has always been there for me and the sound of his voice alone warms my spirits. The friend was shocked but confessed he has always felt something toward me as well. Since then our feelings for each other have only deepened.
Another complication to add to this story is the friend is married himself for over 10 years and has children. Neither of us know what to do about our feelings. We want to be there for each other but are afraid of destroying the lives we have. I don’t want to break my fiance’s heart and he doesn’t want to break up his family. We haven’t acted physically on these feelings yet though we both feel we would like to.
I can’t imagine my life without either of them in it. I never knew life could be so complicated.

I have been in a long, on again- off again relationship with my partner for over ten years now. We have a child together no less. However, my partner has mistreated me several times over the years, sometimes stepping into the realms of abuse. I have always loved him but I have been feeling every time we have broken up and gotten back together that my heart has been becoming more and more guarded with him. Like I can never completely love him like I did. I feel guilty for this but at the same time I feel it neccesary because I really don’t feel like I can handle being hurt by him much more. Still, we are engaged and I am trying to be as loving with him as my heart will allow.

My problem is I have always felt a connection with a good friend of mine. We have been friends for 3 years. About a month ago, when I was feeling particularly sad and having a moment where I was considering suicide, I confessed my feelings to this friend. In the 3 years I have known him he has always been there for me and the sound of his voice alone warms my spirits. The friend was shocked but confessed he has always felt something toward me as well. Since then our feelings for each other have only deepened.

Another complication to add to this story is the friend is married himself for over 10 years and has children. Neither of us know what to do about our feelings. We want to be there for each other but are afraid of destroying the lives we have. I don’t want to break my fiance’s heart and he doesn’t want to break up his family. We haven’t acted physically on these feelings yet though we both feel we would like to.

I can’t imagine my life without either of them in it. I never knew life could be so complicated.