heart confusion

I lay on my bed..My mind wont drop him..but why? Is it the fact we lasted 10 months? or hes the only guy I loved? It all began last year when I dated the cute football player he was sweet but he didnt pay any attention and ditched me for his friends Cade was his name my family absolutly adored him! I go to class to sit next to the man this stories about at times I hear his name I break..His name is Mark. He was my friend we’d always pick on each other and laugh together. One night as I watched a movie Mark texted me saying “If Cade hurts you, I’ll hurt him” I laughed and replied jokingly “What do you like me?” few seconds he replied “Yes” I was astonished! Mark noticed Cades behavior and he told me sternly “I’m sick of how he treats you!” and he pulled me in and kissed me! I told Cade immediatly and Cade told me a girl gave him a hicky at a party which he lied about so few days later I dated Mark, We were perfect like apple and cinnamon, Unfortunetly here comes the huge issue, His parents send him away to military school due to grades, and while he left the more mean he became. He started asking his ex for nude pictures and the lame excuse was its for his future career Navel biology. I called him and asked him why hes asking like this? and he screamed “What! do you want me to lie?!?” and I burst out crying badly and he yelled again “You need to fucking calm down!” I hung up and cried all night. Next day I dumped him..Now I’m dating a super great guy but I miss Mark ’cause in my heart I know it aint the real him…

(Screen) Name: debyboo