daring to be a risk-taker…

my story goes way back….but it’s a confession i’ve held in my heart for the longest time, and i feel the need to share it with the readers, hoping that you might have some advice to share with me back.

there’s this guy (we’ll call him J), who i’ve had a crush on for the longest time during my childhood. apparently, his father and my father have been best friends since they were in grade school. our families pretty much grew up together, just in different sides of the world, but whenever we visited my relatives, our families would spend time together. J is 7 years older than me.

years have passed, and when I was a freshman in high school, J took his first trip to america and stayed with my family for a few days before traveling cross country. my heart was pounding, literally. he was just too cute, but of course, why would a 21 year old be interested in a 14 year old nerd like me?

years after that have passed…and i later learned that he had moved to france to work. he was fluent in french. he studied law. he was/is a brilliant guy, period. but then he met someone – who was 11 years YOUNGER than him. she was 20, he was 31. and since then, they’ve been together.

J has 4 younger siblings. he’s well connected with them, but there’s only one sister that he has always had a “best friend” relationship with (we’ll call her Y). Y and i are good friends too. she’s probably the only sibling that i’m in touch with on an almost daily basis. she had been sharing her family stories with me, and happened to open up to me about J. she told me that her “brotherly bond” with J nearly collapsed because of J’s girlfriend (we’ll call her S). S has been a nightmare to Y – keep in mind, that Y is 6 years older than S. Y told me of unspeakable situations…which pretty much made me furious knowing that J is under some kind of freak spell that S put on him. S turned J against his own sister. and J ended up not talking to Y for the longest time.

Y told me everything about this witch girlfriend. and today, J is 37, and not even engaged. it’s like something is holding him back from making that move, because maybe in the back of his mind, he knows he’s NOT supposed to be with her. oh, and not to mention that his entire family (his mom and other siblings) do NOT like her. when Y told me everything, i confessed to her about my feelings for her brother. i never told anyone. and she was happy to know that i liked him.

it’s been a few months since i approached this subject….and yes, J and S are still together, but i have a feeling that they wont be for long. i’ve been told that getting in the way of love (even if it’s love that isn’t meant to be) will backfire at you…meaning, you create bad karma for yourself. who am i to break them up? i could never do anything like that. but i want to take a risk, and make him aware of my existence. then, it would be up to him to decide what he really wants.

it’s like, knowing that my father and his father have been friends for over 70 years….maybe we were meant to combine families somehow.
anyway, that’s my confession. probably not the best one out there, but i just felt the need to share this story. and feel free to give me some advice as to how to approach him….if i should or shouldn’t. i feel like he’s making a huge mistake and wasting his years away with the wrong person. i’m not saying that i am the right one for him, but who knows…i’ve liked him for a long time. and i think when you like someone, the feelings will never fade away. it’s easier to stop loving someone.

thanks for your time!
🙂
risk-taker

(Screen) Name: risktaker79