Hi, this is me Nirajan. I want to tell u a story from my side. And the story is between me and my one and only girl Gurung… Sorry i could write her name coz i think it shouldn’t like to. And i make a start of my life from beginnig. and it is……..
When i waz below 14, my life was so good and happy……… That time i had a lot of friend- boys and girls. I equally love them. I never discriminated my friends.I had some idea about two people falling in love with each other and their tragedy too. But i didn’t have any special one. At those time i was studying at the school nearby my village. But my father changed my school at 14 where i found many friends. But then i and my friends used to criticized girls a lot. The girls didn’t like my friends but i don’t know why they used to treat me like a good friends. I really love them all. They are my good friends.
When we were on nine class, i told my friends that, i would proposed any girl who join us for first i.e new comer…. That time no girl came.. But after 2/3 months, a girl came to our class. Now i got my work to do. My friends always made a very suitable conditions to propose her. But i never proposed her then becoz one of my senior playboy friend used to tell us that he had his girl friend who lives nearby his home and that waz her, new comer. I couldn’t make it then. But being on same school, she, my ex, knew his idea and behaviour. Then they split up.
But i never cared them at all coz i hate that boys always becoz i really don’t like him. And after one year, i proposed her coz some of my nearer friends told me that she liked me very much. And then i din’t know what happened but i really started to fall in love with her. She used to stay on hostel. So i too joined hostel but on hostel one sir who used to care her very much beats me for that reason. So i left hostel promising her that i would talk her after S.L.C. Then i never went school.
I used to see her most of the days but i never talked her then coz i had made promises already. So i waited the last day of my exam. But unfortunately i forgot to wait her that day. I went to visit with my friends and soon i remembered everything i went back there but there wasn’t she. I really felt sad. This way i got a deep pain in my heart. This is the way how we ended then.
I couldn’t talk with her after that day even if i met her. I felt so bad. But i always loved to see her. One day, i called her from my own cell phone but i couldn’t make a talk. Then i requested my college mate to make a call and asked him to tell me who is the girl that waz answring. He told me that it waz girl not a woman. So i soon called her. Then we started again. We went on date just for once. I don’t know why just for once. I daily used to bonk the classes to see her. I always used to see her. One day she didn’t came and i was so sad. I waited her till evening. But she din’t came. I then started to come back to home. There she was on the same bus. I was happy. And on the way home i made a call to her and her mom answered it and scold me. But i dind’t hear it as i threw my mobile very far. It happened for twice. Then again we kept out of touch.
The days went on so. After few months my friends used to make me a matter of joke telling me “Don’t have to give treat of the marriage?” I didn’t understand what they ‘re sayibg. But someday later i heard that she waz married. This time i really got mad. But i think to make a love success doesn’t mean that we should marry them whom we love. And that’s how i became alone once again.
Then i wanted to make a fresh started now. Then i wanted to forget her try next but my heart could help me out. So i tried a lot. In college i like one girl very much. I never told her my feelings. And one day i told her and she said nothing but trying to escape by saying she had a boy friend but i know she just wanted to take a time to know me and to answer. Few days after it, i wanted reply but she didn’t talked me and i couldn’t call her. So i was so sad and went back to home. But on my way to home, i saw my ral heart just walking in front of me. I really felt like my heart was going to break for sure. That day my heart cried and cried.

I had got her phone number several months ago from her friends and i tried to call her as i couldn’t forget her. But i never made a call because i din’t know any words to say to her. But i just wished her for her better life. I never wanted to hurt her back as i thought it wasn’t her idea to marry. And the life just going on and on. It waz first week of last chaitra, my brother had just returned home from abroad. That day my bro started to miss called her. And she called him back. I used to answer every girls calls in his mobile so i went to him and snatched his mobile and without seeing i told ‘kati phone gareko?” Then the call ended. I looked the number then and noticed that it was her number. Then soon i asked him to call her and asked her to recall at that very number. And he did so. Then we went to have dinner and after that we again started waiting her call. It waz 9:43 when she called and at first i asked her who r u but she didn’t answer it but asked me if i was Nirajan. At last i said yes, i waz Nirajan. Then we started talking. I asked her why she got married. she told me that it’s all her mother. And i asked her “do u love me still?” She said yes. I remember she telling “I love you” for more than 10 times. That time we were happy but also crying. The day after tomorrow was the exam of Nepali but we didn’t care it and we talked on phone till 2 am. That time she promised me that she will come to me after few years. We made many conversatinons that should be or should be talk. Telling true we made phone sex that time. I started to think then that she was changing little bit than the past. And i found her thirst of sex. But being the one loving her for true i never involved in her. Then for few weeks we kept in touch. And again we went on date on chaitra 15. I was so surprised to see her in new get up. She was looking so nice then, so cute and happy. Those time i felt like she was cheating me. There are numerous events to prove it. She din’t even show me her mobile. I can guess there was the things that could hurt me. From that they i started thinking and thinking and became sure that she loves me no more but she loves that stupid playboy. I wanted to hear from her this so i tried and tried. I never succeded. So i write a msg for break up and told that i waz such a fool to love a girl like her who hurts me not for once but for more times. One thing i really believe her waz her innocent behaviour and being the who loves her, i trully and blindly believed her. That time she replied me that not keeping in touch doesn’t mean that the love changes and i was her first and last feelings that ever had had to her. She told me that” me or u neither getting u ir me”. I really felt sad reading those. I thought i made a great mistake then. I thought i really hurt her. So i asked for apologize for several times but she never answerd me. I know her heart is not like human heart, her heart is made of a rock so hard and cruel. Time goes on and on. Today morning at 1 am i got her reply in facebook that she don’t like me and she love that stupid bastard and told me that they loved each other since their childhood. But it doesn’t matter me. My only question for her is the y she said she love me and how can i be her first and last feeling that ever lasted within her as she wrote me in the very msg? I thought she is a liar and liar………….
I promised to god not to stop wanting her, liking her, loving her………………. She is the one whom my heart beats for. I may like a girl but i can’t share her place to my heart coz my ex can’t be replaced from my heart. My love to her is not such a cheaper one………… I really love her…………………

I wish her for her happy life and be happy……………forever…….. Do ur best…………..Best of luck………………

(Screen) Name: Nirajan

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