Today was very hard. More than other days. Every so often there will be something that happens that makes the weight of my loss unbearable, and I completely lose control of the hold that I have on acting like everything’s ok. Today was one of those days. I was walking down the hallway, keeping my eyes to the left of me because she comes from the opposite direction down the hallway. Just when I thought that I passed this obstacle of my daily routine, she walks out right in front of me. For the first time in months, we were within three feet of each other. And when I thought it couldn’t get worse, our hands touch. Can you believe it? And like a shockwave it all come flooding back to me. All of the memories I’ve been trying to suppress rushed into my brain to quick for me to attempt to stop it. Not only that, but the ungodly might of my burning want for those days to be back could have brought a grown man to his knees. And last but not least, the shame of how I’ve been acting these last few weeks with other girls made the cherry on top. Guess what? Now, I’ve got the biggest slut in the school sending me nudes and telling me about how badly she wants me to fuck her. I’ve had to shoot down this poor girl’s hopes of dating me, before I abused her infatuation with me by convincing her that we could be “friends with benefits” instead. And lets not forget how I’ve been flirting with some other girl through snapchat this entire time. The hate for who I’ve become hit me hard. And the embarrassment of the fact that this is all because of a summer fling crippled the last of my prideful defenses. I needed to get out of there. Away from all of these people. I needed to sit down. I needed help. I thought that if I don’t seek out some kind of relief right then, that holding on to my dignity wouldn’t matter, because easing some of the pain was more important than my pride. That’s how bad it was. I actually considered talking about it. And if you’ve been reading this far, I’m sure you know how prideful I am. But at the time, confiding in somebody was step two on the list. Step one was getting away from all of these people. Thankfully, I’m good friends with the nurse. So I walk down to the nurses office, and before I get there I feel the all too familiar tears start to welt up on my eyes. I was falling apart. My plan was too go to the nurses office, ask if I could go into the back room to lie down, and then try to sort out my emotions and put the pieces back together. What do I see when I walk up to the door? NURSE IS OUT. GO TO FRONT DESK. Locked. Of course. I wipe my eyes and start to panic. All I want is someplace to sit down, away from everyone. Away from the judgemental eyes of my peers, asking me whats wrong. Shame leaks into me. For about the millionth time I think to myself, your pathetic. After I thought those words, it gave me enough willpower to suck it up and go to class. My pride was the only thing caring me on, the only thing barely keeping me composed. I walk through the hall, everybody already at their classes. I stumble past one of my english teachers. I must have had a pretty sad look on my face because she gave me a sad smile and in a concerned voice asked me if I was ok. Thankfully I’ve got lying about my emotions down to an art form at this point. “I’m good, thanks.” Even added a fake smile, because of how sorry for me she looked. I walk into my class and sit down. All of this noise. Why won’t these people just shut up and leave me alone for Christ’s sake. Tears welt up in my eyes again. I quickly blink them away before anybody sees.

I can’t let this happen again. I’m going to have to take even more precautions to insure I don’t see her in the halls. Today scared me, because it was a reminder of how fragile I am. One touch is all it took to cripple me. And seeing her face up close, almost being able to reach out to her and hold her like I used to, to hear her whisper in my ear “I adore you” like she used to tell me. I wanted it back so bad. Today, reader, I realized something that I’ve been keeping suppressed from myself for months. Even through all of this suffering, even through all that she’s said and done to ruin my name, insult me, and make me feel completely worthless…I still love her. God, how I love her.

-ET

http://dkmarkwell.simplesite.com/

I was 27 when we met. It was all arranged nothing unexpected happened before. There was his family in my house . They were here to see me as their son’s bride. His name is Atharva. Our marriage was confirmed and he was my fiance. We both had the rings in our fingers. I was not sure about him as I m kind of funky person who loves to enjoy life and we was just a man in suit. Then we decided to hang out with our friends so that we could get to know each other and their companies. I decided for a restaurant and mine and his friends met there all together. My friend Akash, Sophia and Khushboo and his friends kaiyaini and Saurabh at one table meeting each other. Atharva picked my hand in his and asked me for a dance ?. I was so shy that I looked down and he grabbed my hand and took me to the floor. Everyone was hooting and there we danced. I never knew he was this much romantic. He grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him. After that dance our friends left us alone . There I said “I didn’t know you are romantic and can dance.” He replied just with a smile. The next day we plan be to go for the water park. I told him that I love playing in water so he decided that place for me. Atharva picked me up dipped me into the water in the water park. It was going to be evening and we enjoyed the fountain view. I was so excited there to get wet that I was closest to the fountain. Atharva was standing beside me and he saw me happy. When I got wet, he was smiling at me as though I was a child. Then suddenly his smile was on my lips. He kissedme and I was surprised. It was a long kiss and about half a minute, he grabbed my waist. I saw him with surprise  and there came a smile on my face . Atharva kissed me again with increased passion. That was the time when I felt love. He dropped me at my home with sudden kiss of mine and I ran inside after kissing him for a mili second. We didn’t meet for a long time then because of some family functions. And then Atharva decided to meet me with his friend Saurabh. Just as he ebtered the cafe for there we decided to meet, a girl hugged him and he hugged her with same excitement. I was shattered. Then Saurabh told me that she is his frien from ages.  Still I was angry that he hugged another woman. He sat on her table and takes to her a lot. I rose and went to Atharva . He hey’ed me and I grabbed his collar, pulledhim towards me and kissed him tightly.  He knew that I was jealous and it was his plan to make me jealous. He wassmiling with his teeth naked. I got his plan and kissed him again hardly. I was angry with him and he said sorry for that joke. I warned him not to ply with my love. I hugged him and he puthis hands around my waist. He pulled me up and hugged me tightly. He apologized a lot. Then I said him that I am in love with you and can’t see you with any other woman. He said “I  never  that you are gomna be so special in my life. I love you❤”. We got married after two months.☺

That was how aur arranged marriage became love marriage.

my love story

its a true story. I was in love with a girl of my town. she is uneducated she cannot  read and write she loves me a lot and me not love her in start but when i feel she loves me alot then me also in love with her. once day she gave a message to me by her nephew that   please give me a mobile  phone  for calling with you .  I gift  her a mobile .we talking on phone at morning time when her father go out for work . she always says i love you .love you love you . and alway

says i wanna marry with you.

i mean she shows a lot love for me.

one day

i asked to parents i want to marry with her. my parents agreed to marry with her . when i tell her that my parents have agreed to marry  with you then she says i don’t love you please dont asked your parents for marry with me. i became shocked i asked her please my love dont say this i love you and you also wanna  marry with me as you said  but why you have changed.  she said i am in love with anyone who left me and i just think if he left me i will not weeping for him therefore i contact with you. only for passing the time so kindly  don’t send your parents.

i suggest  you all don’t believe anyone only to see his/her beautiful lovely words.

By Bobby Larry

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Prologue

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Hello, ladies and gentleman. A special shout-out to my beloved Mabel is in order as I dedicate this message to her in the hope that she might forgive me for my recent heinous actions. This is a heartfelt message straight from the man himself, Bobby Larry.

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Message Start

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Chapter 1

I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve anyone, really. I’m sorry that this crazy bastard that I am chose out of all the women in that little store we toil in, it had to be you. Looking from the so-called competition, it was probably obvious why I wanted you. You have such a lovely, albeit rather unkempt, brunette ponytail. You have a perky, lively manner of walking, something that is still quite apparent when you’re waiting in line, always dancing the time away. You have a such a lovely voice. Now granted, you still sound so much like a girl even though you’re a full-figured woman, through and through. Still, it does make you sound quite youthful, though I imagine you’ll lose such voice by the time you hit 40. However, if there is one physical trait that stands out from everything else, it’s your eyes. They’re beautiful, soft, warmth-giving eyes. When I ever see those eyes with that smile of yours, I seriously feel that the vast, multiple troubles and travails in my life are gone. Those irises of milky azure rope me in into some strange, ethereal world since I don’t see many people with such a color. The rest of your countenance then ropes me into a calming mood which in turn completes a sensation that all of the stresses that I had before seeing your smile are someplace else. It really does feel that I may have seen, for a few seconds, a glimpse into heaven.

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Sometimes I listen to “Photograph” by Def Leppard whenever I imagine your physical presence. Okay, I try to imagine that tune as your theme song just for the rockin’ themes of infatuation. Yeah, I’m not one for the “contemporary” music of today with its dubstep, hip-hop, techno BS I don’t give a crap about. I’m weird like that. I just like that classic rock from yesteryear. With that in mind, that song of the same name by Nickelback can go to hell!

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I just want to go on record saying that while I found you attractive- and I still do at times -I am somehow not thrown completely out of whack to know that you sure as hell won’t be winning any beauty contests. That nose of yours could really use some straightening up, since it looks like it was smooshed by some wall from a few years back. Do you not have the means to buy some decent shampoo and conditioner to rein in that hair of yours? I see so many split ends and stray hairs everywhere that if you wore a bum’s clothes, I’d think you were that indigent. The most glaring physical feature I see is when you’re not smiling, your face seems to express one of two expressions: sad or angry. Of course, I saved the biggest flaw for last: your short stature. I’m like 6 feet 4 inches tall, and you’re what, like 5 feet tall? Still, there was an attractive hold you had on me despite your homunculus build. I thought to myself “How the hell could I be in love with such a woman? It’d be a struggle to kiss each other since I’d have to crouch or she’d have to climb a ladder of sorts. If I did do impossible and have a relationship with this woman, she’d only have me around as a human cherry picker. If I really wanted to date diminutive beings, I’d date some distant relative from my mother’s side of the family.” I could spend the rest of my time taking cheap shots at your shortness, but I won’t this cruel anymore, I promise. I only wanted to tell you that I know you’re not the most attractive woman in the world, especially given the customer base at our workplace, which can sometimes bring in quite the number of lookers in there. Nevertheless, in the face of more attractive women coming in and out of that establishment, you beat them all in terms of getting me hooked on to you since your aforementioned physical flaws, combined with the lack of makeup which I must give kudos because you don’t hide anything and good on you, combined with the good parts of you make me feel that I’m seeing a real, raw beauty in my midst. I’d like to know more about you, but since I’m the most depraved, decrepit, unbelievably timid and awkward guy in the world, I took the coward’s way of knowing you.

Chapter 2

It’s been over a year since I first met you, and while we’ve had a small chat here and there, my timidity must’ve put you off as me being cold and distant. I’m actually scared and desperate, I assure you. I always thought you were cute, but it was only in the last two months that I thought that you could be more than that. That’s when I began to search you on the Internet for your social media profiles. I discovered them and I enjoyed of what I saw. The lively, joyful life I saw posted- and I’m sure there’s far more of that I haven’t seen that is rightfully for your eyes only -really matches the sunny disposition I see in the physical space.

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I listen to “Kids In America” by Kim Wilde while I searched for you. I like listening to upbeat New Wave music, though I imagine you’d wouldn’t care for this genre. Sometimes I also listen to “We Got the Beat” by the Go-Go’s which by the way is so far the only female band I would ever care about.

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I’m kind of shocked, amused, and bewildered to see your interests, at least the ones I see in cyberspace. First of all, I am shocked at the number of animal-focused pages on your Facebook account. It’s like large swaths of your liked pages are either around dogs, official fan pages for zoos across the country, or baby animals in general. I like animals myself, but I wonder if you’ve ever taken care of one those creatures for at least one day. I got two dogs myself, and while I love them not I’m gushing with overt praise and affection because they can be a pain in the ass. Another aspect that I did not know about is the number of liked pages dedicated to food. You’re no doubt the thinnest employee at our little establishment, and I never would’ve imagined that you were once a rather chubby girl in the past. I guess doing all those exercises that you found on Pinterest really worked out in the end. Still, you sure love your chocolate, pasta, burger, and especially pizza fan pages, don’t you? I think you may have liked at least one page that promoted healthy living, but you sure love to eat, don’t you? Maybe, out of everything I’ve seen from your online presence, that is something I should emulate. I certainly don’t have the physique of Adonis, that’s for sure. Then, I see that you like all of that Marvel, anime, cosplay, really all of that nerdy shindig activities that I wouldn’t ever associate with you.

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Okay, I got to go off-topic for a bit. When I ever I see Facebook pages like “Nerds with Vaginas” and I see pictures of people that are reasonably good-looking, I’m at a loss of how these folks could identify themselves as “nerd”, “geek, etc. I’d say almost all of you guys- and yes, Mabel, I’m including you as well -are far too attractive to identify with such a stigmatizing term. I’m only maybe two or three years older than you, but this “geek pride” phenomenon is a completely alien concept, despite liking the same things that these newfound “geeks” find so interesting.

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I also saw that you love those parenting sites with all of those cute photos and videos of parent-kid interaction. I assume you want to be a mom yourself someday That is a perfect segue into the most glaring factoid about your digital self.

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Play “Sister Golden Hair” by America to set the mood. It’s just for a nice mood for the following segment. Yeah, I know you’re a brunette, but just go with it.

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So, I’ve seen you made a few dating profiles on a few websites. Now, I have to ask the following question: Are you insane?! How many times do I have to repeat myself? You’re an attractive woman! I seriously find it hard to believe you haven’t found the right guy yet. Now granted, you’ve dated once before. That may have colored a negative light on relationships for you. Still, I don’t believe you can look me in the eye and tell me that there aren’t at least three single guys you know in your circle of friends that would go out with you. You’re a charmingly beautiful woman with a more gorgeous heart. You’d be doing any guy a favor to even have just one date with you. Anyone who is even around you would know of your luminous grace. So, don’t go out to the reaches of cyberspace to a site where only vapid, distorted depictions of beauty, suaveness, or really any term of attractiveness that those creeps use to hide behind their own worlds of vainglorious, egotistical detritus. You’re better than that. You might be waiting for Mr. Right to come around the corner, but I really think you’d be surprised who could be a real unexpected catch if you asked anyone in your immediate physical reach.

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Of course, given your questionable practice of simply abandoning old accounts instead of deleting them means that I may have been reading old, irrelevant content. You might already be in a relationship, or simply not interested in relationships at the moment. The latter scenario would question your current fascination with parenting if you won’t take the first step to starting such a life, but I digress.

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Chapter 3

I thought that with this seemingly harmless observance of your online activities I thought maybe I will work the courage to go ask you out. I thought I would be so clever to perhaps coincidentally (wink wink) participate in activities of your liking, for example taking long walks in parks or going out to a nice Italian restaurant.

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I would’ve been okay with anything except for skating. By Zeus, I would prefer anything to skating. I would’ve gone to a wrestling match with you, despite my dismissal of said activity as a fake sport. I would’ve gone and watched all the crappy Rom-Coms that plague every theater since time immemorial. Hell, I would’ve done something I wouldn’t have expected you to like, like going to cockfights or something. Alright, fine. That last activity was something I know you wouldn’t like, but anything other than skating is my point of my little story here.

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I would keep imagining on what to say at the end of the date. It would’ve been memorable, or maybe something that you would’ve made you interrupt my poorly worded sentence with a kiss. I would then leave you at your place to reminisce about the good time you had with me, wanting more. I don’t think that this relationship would’ve been long-term, but it would’ve been a lovely time. I thought that I could take the next step and move forward. That’s when a sobering dose of bitter reality set in.

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I’d recommend playing “Where Did Our Love Go” by the Supremes at this point, though I’d prefer Soft Cell’s cover. I prefer that edgy, darker vibe from the latter group than that mushy Motown tune that my mother likes, but that’s just me. It sets the mood for what’s to come.

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I didn’t ask you out, that’s for sure. I had to take a step back and ask yourself the hard truth. “You’re an unpleasant, cowardly, disgrace of a man!”, I said to myself. “Why the hell are trying to get a relationship with this woman? So she can ‘save you’?! From what?! Yourself?! That’s all on you, you bastard! You’re never going to get what you want, romantic or otherwise, because you really are a wretched loser! It’s time to burn this bridge to nowhere. And do me a favor. Never get involved in anyone else’s life. You can’t love and care for yourself, much less someone else.” That was the impetus for ending what couldn’t be. The problem was that I spent over the course of a month spending almost all of my free time thinking about you. I’m not the sort of the guy that forgets easily. I tried simply not looking you up online for a week and I still didn’t succeed in removing you from my life. I couldn’t quit my job either. Everyone needs money, particularly me at the moment. That’s when I took a dark, rash turn for the worst. I had to make a conscious effort to burn bridges with you so I had a good reason to stay away from you.

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This is going to be dark so playing “My War” by Black Flag, “Slaughter Of The Soul” by At the Gates, “Dead Embryonic Cells” by Sepultura, “Fear of Napalm” by Terrorizer, “Los Angeles” by X, or “Wild Side” by Mötley Crüe. Don’t listen to them all at once at high volume unless you want to go deaf in 20 seconds.

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My puppy love for you turned into hate. I wanted to put the blame for my unrealistic future that was never meant to be on you. I thought this will finally put my imaginative dalliance with you with a very despicable act. I effectively sold your soul to truly depraved devils. I did swiftly and I even had a little cheer for myself for that heinous act. It is something I’ve never done to anyone else in my life. I felt a smug sense of superiority because I thought I tore you a new one. I thought I had the upper hand on someone for once in my life.

Chapter 4

After my darkest hour, I felt that with that act in mind, I could move on and forget that about this woman with this dark stain on her name. I anticipated that there would’ve been a change in my own feelings of self-worth. In short, I thought I would be feeling satisfied. That feeling never came. Indeed, nothing that I thought would feel ever came. I’m sure you know what I did now. The realization that someone did this to you is beyond words, I reckon. I can see that you’re avoiding me at work either by eyeing my movements, running away from me once your shift’s over, and looking the other way when riding a vehicle.

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Yeah, I noticed you at least three times outside of work. I remember the first two times you looking at me furtively. I was befuddled as to why you were looking at me rather longingly, even as the car move a greater distance from each other. Of course, I knew that you realize that I hurt you because the third time I saw you ducking your head to avoid seeing my derelict and morally compromised face.

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I’m sure you’re looking for somewhere else to work, though if there was any sense of justice in the world, I should be sacked. I thought that with my act I would stop caring about you, but instead I feel nothing but remorse.

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This is the part where I’d listen to “Edge of Seventeen” by Stevie Nicks. If nothing else, it to mourn any lost goodwill you may have for me, if even care to think of me in any way other than hateful terms.

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I’m sure you don’t feel like it, and I reckon there’s more than a few people that would want to exact violent retribution on your behalf, but now I only want to make a plea for forgiveness. I have tried to remove such a stain from your name, but I can’t trust the wicked people of digital age to do the same even if asked them to do so. Nevertheless, I will make the effort to repair your good name. That is the only thing I want from you now: your forgiveness.

Chapter 5

At this point in time, I’m falling out of love for you. At this point I only feel about parting ways, although I wish we could do so on good terms.

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If there is only one song you’d actually listen to while reading this message, it should be “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty. The lyrics sum me up perfectly, and that saxophone riff is just excellent. It’s my theme song, no less. Take that, Dave Ramsey.

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It may not be right in saying this, namely because I really fell in love with a façade, but I thought I had brief, beautiful moment with you. It was so beautiful and ethereal that it could only last for a moment. Still, even the briefest moments can make an impact of a lifetime. This is where I make my last goodbye to you, sweet Mabel. Farewell, and may you forgive me.

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Message End

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My love story started from my window.It was my 1st time that I used to watch someone and blush.he also used to see and smile at me from his balcony.I got his number from my sister bcoz he used to talk to her and even said my sister that he like me.so I just started chatting with him on what’s up and use to wait for eachother to come online everyday.we used to sit and look eachother for more then hours from my window and his balcony and even wait for eachother till we close our window.It was July 7th 2016 when we were talking normally and just sended a forwarding text to him in which different colours of heart were there and what feeling u have was written so I just sended him a white heart for which it was written’ I like u’ and then it was his time to reply to that forwarded message and what he choosed was red heart which was for’ I love you’.And that’s how are realtionship started from that day.It was best time of my life.he was a gym trainer so he used to go early to gym at 6 clock morning and even I used to wait for him to go bcoz whenever he used to go out he always looked back from his bike and says bye and give a smile and flying kiss.this was like a daily routine for us bcoz we were like a start of day and end of night for eachother.we even never had any fights on any topic bcoz of anyone or anything.we were like a perfect couple.3 month passed to our realtionship but we never even meet eachother Face to Face bcoz I wasn’t allowed to go out anywhere bcoz I was a school student of 10th std.

It was 18th September 2016 when I meet him some how bcoz of my sister and we both as a couple went to Mandir and I just said him that I m getting bored.his reply was let’s so to my frnds home,he lives nearby.so we went there and for me it was my 1st time that I was alone with someone.we got very close to each other at our 1st meet only.The things were distracting me when I came back at home.and in evening when we talked he said don’t worry baby I will be there with you forever.

But after 1month he said let’s brkup which was a shocking news for me and I started crying and convensing him to be with me and after 1hour of our talk he said that he is just joking and at that time I made him sit all night out with me in his balcony and me in window in a winter weather.again all was good we meet for 5 times after that.again all went good till Feb 28th 2017 but on that day he shifted from there to somewhere else.i cried in front of him while he was shifting but he promised me to come to see me every morning and evening and he followed whatever he said to me.it was my board exams from 9 th march and I had a wish to be fulfilled on 8th march and I just told him that I have a wish from u so just think and in evening he was in front of me as it was my wish to see him. As my papers where going on it was my bday on 25th and even my paper so he wished me 1st at 12clock  and brought cake for me next afternoon and a watch as a gift.i was happy and use to pray to God to keep we both together forever in every way.

But on 26th as I called him,I wasn’t aware that he was at home and his mother picked my call and then mother said to elder sister and the family drama started.from that day his behaviour also changed towards me and use to ignore me.so as my paper got over I asked him why was he behaving like that so he told me everything that my parents won’t accept u bcoz of caste difference and said he won’t go against his parents.i was hanged and I got unconscious after sometime i again started convincing him but he was like we will be together but never marry each other.i was frustrated and used to convince him everyday to be with me bcoz I was having fear that he will leave me.but still after some months I thought that just go with the flow and started being calm and talked properly with him.again for 6 the time I meet him and loved eachother as much as we were able to.but as I used to sit alone and  think about things which had happened with me after he left me from my society was very hurtful for me.just to be In relationship with him I wrote his name with blade on my heart and used to think of he is not mine I won’t live my life alone without him.i did many things to convince him but what I was doing wasn’t right.i cried everyday which he never saw.he wasn’t the person I used to see in front of me,he was totally different.

One day I got a very high fever bcoz of whatever I used to do for him to be with me.bcoz of which I got a lump on my neck and still he was not picking my call and no reply of any message and I was on bed that time bcoz of fever.i got frustrated and went his home and said everything to his family.his mother and sister were already knowing abt me but elder sister and father came to know when I said them everything.he was very angry on me and still just bcoz of that incident it has been year but he still doesn’t talk to me.

I tried every way to contact him but he changed his number.no clues to contact him.i begged to his frnds for his number but they said they don’t have.

I see him going from front of me but he runs away from there and says his frnds that he doesn’t like faltu ladki.

He never understood why I was at his home.he never understood my feelings,my love,my respect,my trust.

Still his frnds says that he has a girlfriend but I don’t even like to trust them.bcoz I know that my love towards him cannot be wrong.

I still miss him a lot?.

But

My love and his hate towards eachother may never fail.

I love u lot Abhishek gaikwad Patil.

Will wait whole life for you to come back.

1. Come back soon

When I was 19 years old my mates and I took a holiday to Spain in the summer of 2008. As usual a group of 5 lads on vacation were out to do one thing, party. One night we decided to check out a night club by the hotel which seemed to be the “it” spot. As I was dancing half drunk, a girl with these dazzling brown eyes caught my attention, it seemed as every single guy in the club was laying eyes on her and the group of girls she was with. My friend kept repeating that if she would talk to me it would be a miracle.  I starred for a couple of minutes until I got the courage to go up to her. She was incredibly friendly and instantly smiled when I said hello to her. Turns out we left the club together and went towards my hotel pool where we stayed up talking till 7am. She wasn’t just looks, she was smart, funny, and had this amazing personality.  The only part was that I lived in Australlia and she in Miami. In a matter of those 7 hours I had grown feelings for her and knew I was doing the wrong thing by getting attached. I took her home by daylight and she was so tired it was quite cute. She took my email and we said our goodbyes. I told her I’d see her before she left back home. As I was walking home I couldn’t get her out of my head. Was I already attached in a matter of hours? I promised myself I wouldn’t see her again. She emailed me and I didn’t respond. Two days went by and her face couldn’t get out of my head. As I was walking down the street in Madrid I walked directly by her without her noticing. The odds of seeing someone you know in such a large town are quite slim. My friends mocked me for not saying hello. About a couple hours later I’d seen her again and we exchanged a quick hello. She looked quite devistated, but I didn’t bother to ask why. I felt a whole in my heart, for I was into this girl yet wanted to avoid pain. I thought this was the last time I’d see her big smile and dazzling eyes. Well, I was wrong I’d run into her 3 more times and she made friends with my lads. She was upset with me and I was upset with myself as well. As I got on the plane to head back home I spent the whole flight thinking about her and that I would never see or hear from her again. Days went on she slowly wisked away from my mind. A couple months later and I had barely thought about her. Fast forward a year later, I met new girls and she was like an old book I read. For holiday this time my friends and I decided to take a trip to the Greek islands. As I was walking down a main blvd my heart dropped. It was her!! Looking at the sea shell necklaces on display. Her hair fell over her shoulders just how I remembered. My mates noticed as well and begin to chat up with her as she was surprsied. She hadn’t yet noticed I was there because I’d walked off. Once she trapped look on me, her eyes began to fill with tears. She walked up to me and just hugged me before saying anything. It was like in the movies. How could this be happening to me? We spent that whole holiday together and many more. 9 years later and she’s still the love of my life. Fate burns brighter than the stars.

A boy whose name is shahil ,he was the captain of school , cricket, dance and singing team. He was funny & humorous one day he talk to a girl on fb whose name was Zara ,it was night & both started chatting after a month Zara fall in love with shahil but at that time Shahid couldn’t get that ,shahil got invisible at fb & she started msging him she used to call him as Raees & veer bcz he was fan of SRK after a while Shahil came back and  Zara scold him & everything got fine and both were enjoying she call him veer kaha the tum I was missing you ,he replied now I came back na chill & then again shahil got invisible & again that thing, now this time she has gone for always and shahil were unaware of this he came back again and msg her but she didn’t reply as she has gone he again after month realize that they both are in love now shahil started missing her , crying for her but couldn’t get in touch with her & this story is unseen now , now I’m revealing that that was me 🙁

Hi guys. Today I want to write about this guy who i fell in love with almost five years back.

Unlike other couples, we met very tragically- you could say it was all destiny. Back then in 2008, we use to have this option called “Mobile Dating” in our phones, which was a service offered by BSNL. You just have to create a profile on your mobile and then you would be given few names and you can select any and send them messages. The phone number didn’t get revealed, it was just the id which was shown and the message path was some weird “555000..” type of number.

Anyway, so once, I got a text a from an id named “eudi”.

Eudi- hi how are you

kweenangel(my id)- hi i m fine. where are u from?

Eudi- i am from dhubri and u?

(Dhubri is a place in Assam and gladly, I was from assam too. Just not the same town)

kweenangel- i m from guwahati

So, this way we started talking and exchanged our numbers. And everyday, he used to call me. We didn’t talk much but we used to call each and I got the signs that he likes me. So one night, we were just messaging each other discussing about  our likes and some other things when for something I told him, “I think you are going mad.” To which, he replied, “Yes I am going mad in your love.” I said, “What? How?” He said, “The way you talk! Uff, main tere pyaar mein deewana ho gaya hu.” I started laughing but I don’t know why, I couldn’t refuse him. The date was 16th august, 2008.

And this way we started dating. I used study in a boarding school where we were not allowed to keep phones with us and we could just call home on weekends for 15 minutes. So on 23rd august i was leaving early in the morning. And the amount I cried on 22nd august, I can’t describe it in words. I sat in the washroom and cried for hours. I just didn’t want to leave him and go. He asked me to mail my picture to him. I thought he wouldn’t like the way I look and he will leave me for it so I searched for a very pretty girl’s image on Google and sent it to him. And after seeing the photo, he fell even deeper for me.. He mailed to some senti songs and then I put them into my i-pod and next day I left for school. We promised to write letters and e-mails to each other, which we did regularly. That was the first love letter I ever received in my life. All my friends read it even before i could get to read it. i read it over and over again for more than 10-20 times and that night I slept with the letter. (haha. stupid, i know)

Then one day, he again asked for my pictures and since it was already 6 months to our relationship, I sent him my real photo. He didn’t react to it. He just told me “You look so different.” He didn’t say even a single thing. Then when I called him on the weekend, he found out I had lied to him but we didn’t discuss much on it as he looked for love, not looks. For me, it was the same. Then came april, 2009 when we met for the first time. I had gone on an excursion trip to Shillong and he came to meet me in shillong and stayed in the same hotel where we were staying. I was pretty scared of getting caught by my teacher so I didnt stay with him for a long time. At night before leaving for his room, i just softly called him and kissed his cheek. Our love was the purest form of love I’ve ever experienced.

Then soon in may, he told me that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship as he feels relationships don’t last. I didn’t want to force him so I let him go. But I always waited for him because I knew it was his first time as well as mine and the bonding between us was different. Then after almost half an year, around in September, he came back. He sent me a message on Orkut, asking me to call him. I called him on the weekend and he apologized for leaving me that way. And I remember, 12th November, 2009, was the day he first said those four magical words to me, “Will you marry me?” I can’t even describe my feelings. For a moment, I was just silent and then I said “Of course I will.”

And that way, we stayed together for four years. He had this calling me “jaan” every single time that he had to tell me I love you. Though, he said it pretty lesser than often but yes, each time he did, his confession of love use to music to my ears each time I heard them. I could feel it right there in my heart that what he is saying is true and my reply was a reflex of my emotions. The deeper the love, the lengthier were our arguments. We faced a lot in our relationships. We fought almost daily. Broke up many times but patched up again. Sometimes I made mistakes, sometimes he did. He is the first guy who has ever cried for me. I think distance was the reason which held us so strong. Maybe. All I knew was for me, Lohit was life. Nothing else mattered. I didn’t need anybody but just him.

But finally, our fights increased to such an extent that we started abusing each other. Our heated arguments paved a way for our destruction and soon our relationship turned into a piece of trash. My entire world, that fairy tale world that I had built around me wherein it was Lohit and I and our to be family came crashing down. It had become too much for me to bear as I had never been in love. I didn’t want it to end because I knew we were a forever kind of a thing but things had to stop somewhere because we were losing ourselves in our relationship.

So after our fourth anniversary, I broke up. He did try to call me back and try to sort things but I just behaved in the same rude manner that he used to behave in and soon, he got over me. I asked him to return all my letters, gifts, etc. And he did. For once, I behaved like one strong individual woman who does not need a man for her happiness but little did I realize that Lohit was happiness. Once I received my letters back, I re-read each one of them and I happened to realize that what fools were we to break something that was so precious and valuable. We were truly and madly in love with each other. I know people say it’s easy and shit but losing someone who brought love into your life just breaks you somewhere within. i always knew that somewhere within he still loved me but our relationship became a waste.

There were days when I wouldn’t want to leave my bed because I didn’t want to start another day of my life without my Lohit in it. I have gone through it all, sleepless nights, tears soaked pillows, loud howls in the shower and above all that, missing my lost mother somewhere within him. I think that’s life, we all move on in the end. He did and I did too. I met this another man in my life post that and then another and then another but somethings just don’t leave your heart. Lohit is now a far off dream, a beautiful memory etched within my heart. I would say, he’s my confidant. I can confide into him for anything at all and I know he’d never judge me. That one precious relationship of my heart that I would always reminisce and cherish.

But today why is this heart at ache? Why is suddenly all so lonely? It’s been more than four years now that we broke up then why all of a sudden this empty sort of a feeling? Dreams can really move us, I must say! Last night, I dreamed of being with him. I dreamed of my family, his family and Lohit and I chatting in the dark. That was a serene feeling. A two or three hour dream where I was at my happy place. All these days in the recent past, I had been too confused with my life. With all other portions of my life being complete, this heart was always empty. Though my sisters always teased me that I could never love anyone else apart from Lohit, I shrugged off their comments like a joke. But all of a sudden this feelings is just so weird. I am happy and broken at the same time. I spoke to him today and asked him to visit me just once. This is this urge inside me, this fire inside my belly, to see this man in my life just one more time. The moment he said he might come, this urge just grew and since then I just cannot stop thinking about him. Life has changed, I have changed but what is this changed feeling inside me? I’m yet to find out.