To tell you my story I have to tell how emotionally well I was in middle school. You could’ve said I was foolish but now that I look back I just think I was very innocent. Listening to the same music and hearing the same dirty jokes and poisonous rumors as the rest of my class I thought I wasn’t really innocent but sometimes you never know what you have until you lose it.
I was in the library when I met a guy online and we talked about books and other things. I was interested in a lot of things and we had a really nice chat. But it was the library and the books eventually led me into another dimension and I forgot about him. Around two weeks later I meet him online, well…he tracks me down. He flatters me by telling me I’m the sweetest thing he ever met. He fed me line after line. He told me he would break up with his online girlfriend for me. Apparently they were about to get married (online) you can do that and he suddenly told her it was over. Oh! But of course I agreed because what other guy wanted anything to do with me? We got together and it was bliss and endless chats about what I was interested in. Then he surprised me. He asked me if I wanted to cyber and I balked. NO WAY. I told him. He pressed the issue though and started to type disgusting things. They filled the screen. They filled my LIFE. I thought this was my Prince who was only requesting a small privelage so I eventually gave in and we did it once. It was only two months later that I realized how precious my single bliss was but I decided to tough it out for him. Then someone told me he cheated on me. CHEATED?! How could he? I gave him my precious gift of innocence and I had been with him a way no one else had. Cruel! So cruel! I shouted at him (by this time we traded adresses and phone numbers) I sobbed softly and begged him not to go. I loved him, it was true. My love was real for me and I thought he felt what I felt. A light grew in my face and I floated on a cloud while at the same time the truth that he was scoundrel drifted in the back of my brain. At the end of the first year and more cybering and cheating on his part I was begging him to set me free. He had too much of my heart for me to force my will over his. I wanted to leave before he could get more ugly. Wait! Don’t go from this sad story so far, this is only the prologue. It’s a nice ending really.
Anyway, he abused me for 3 years because I let him before he broke my heart and threw me out. He broke up with me then told me he had fantasies of killing me then raping my corpse. The next week he asked me to go out with him again to be one with him. He was a monster and I told him so. Then he threatened to kill himself. I loved him still, reader. My love still saw that nice boy who would talk to me and respect me. Sobbing, I forwarded our chats to his Mom. The ones about suicide I made a point of re-sending. The day after taht he called me and told me I was heartless and told me to go to hell and that they might put him in a mental institution thanks to me. I told him I loved the boy who I met and he wasn’t it and reminded him who broke up with whom. He got angry and silent. The next week his friend tells me he heard my ex commit suicide. I scream and cry and remember the nice boy all over again because I’m very loyal so I call his house and ask his Mom how he died and his Mom says he didn’t die. She gets angry the more I tell her my story but not at me, at him.
Dear reader I felt like a hollow shell. A piece of floating garbage. Since he won’t ever come back into my story I’ll tell you what happened to that man. That boy in a man’s body. I saw that he had a web page up on facebook and youtube and what was scary was he had bought a webcam. He took pictures of his face but I know that that was not all he took pictures of, I know that he hasn’t stopped cybering since we broke up. I know that one day the cops will arrest him for corrupting a minor like he corrupted me. It was 10th grade that I was set free like a bird. So happy! and yet so bitter. When my guy friends talked to me I hated them if they looked like HIM that day. I hated them for using the word ‘literally’ like he did. I hated them when they looked too long at me. I hated them when they ignored me. I HATED them period. I told all my friends about the evils of men and stopped going on the computer. Whenever I did and whenever I accidentally went on a chat I got panic attacks because it reminded me of my time being in a cage. I hate hate hate cages. In History class I had surges of memory and my mind couldn’t concentrate on debates. My eyes, oh it was so sad, my eyes would empty of my innate spunkiness and they would resemble a cows. They were dumb and blank. I remember seeing them in a mirror. Then I began to want to kick people or randomly strike out. My anger was like a tumor. You could see the symptoms and it would have ruptured if I didn’t talk about it and take pills. I took passion flower. Little brown pills that calmed me down and help me process my emotions. My family moved into a little quiet home backed by woods and the sounds of birds. I would lie on my bed and listen to the free birds. I whispered to God one time while looking out the window, “I would like a little wind.” And a gust came and blew my hair back. I knew I could heal once I was in this place. I could grow. Oh. I could last in the silence. I meditated in my own way by reading and thinking, reading and thinking, reading and thinking. I realized my anger and I still had sexual thoughts and angry thoughts and bitter thoughts left over but I never once burdened anybody more than my counselor. Her, I only told her an outline of my stresses without letting her plumb the depths because she was innocent it showed in her eyes. And I learned that if you love someone you should never burden them. With my personality sucked out I sat on my quiet bus and savored the peace. The little kids were like bright birds flocking around me and telling me they liked me because I was kind. I never really wanted to hurt those kids I wanted to hurt that man but my hands couldn’t reach him so I projected my anger at people and objects. There were two other highschoolers on the bus. One asian kid a grade ahead and a tsunder indian wrapped in her native hujab and a grade lower. We would sit in a row with one seat to ourselves because it was so spacious and peaceful and just talk. Sam the asian got kids to believe his name was Franklin Benjamin the first couple weeks of school. He also forgot my name as well. It would annoy me so I would reply with bogus answers every time he asked. So annoying, always chattering nonsense. Ziba the indian was cool-headed and fun to talk to. I can only describe it as the type of fun I got when I read a good book. On and off the bus I went, tasting my freedom. Slowly I recovered. At school I was the same with my friends. I never let them in too deep and I show them a kind face because I love them. One day Sam picked up something on the bus and I was reading. He turned in his seat which was in front of mine and held up a dirty candy. “I’ll pay you three quarters to eat it.” Were we in kindergarten? No. So I nod my head and say “Gimme the money.” He hands it over and I stuff it in my pocket. Then I start to read my book. “You said you’d eat it!” He ejaculates. I smirk. “No, I just shook my head and demanded money.” His face contracted into an open faced pout. I could only stare. It was so honest and cute. Then I realized how ridiculous I sounded so I gave his money back and read my book. He was so annoying.My thoughts returned but I never stopped fighting. All throughout 10th grade I never stopped fighting. I was so thankful for a lot of thinks like my parents living together again and my being single. I loved it. God helped too. I read a lot of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes because it told me straight what I needed to do to improve.
“Are you going to the prom?” I shook my head no. “Well I’m going with Lyla Steward.” “That’s nice.” I reply smiling. Sam makes a pained face. Lyla is like a Neurotic A-Type and she’s covered in 300 pounds of extra fat. “There’s not a lot of studs in 11th grade. How about you. Hey. Dano. What about Tristan?” Tristan in my grade is the creepy stalker type. Like HIM I suspected. “If you like the weird and boring.” I reply. “Wow. Ice Queen. Gabs’s an Ice Queen.” He called me Gabs. A contraction of my full name. I blush because I feel like that’s a compliment. I saw respect in his eyes. Oh, I craved respect…Nevermind what does he know. I read again. I make a point to ignore him a lot but we end up chatting. Silently. He starts reading life, the universe, and everything and since I have to read it for a book list I read it. He glances at me and something has begun. I don’t know what. He reads Douglas Adams (the author) then I read him and then he does and then I do. Finally we chat about him and the books and we sit close. I realize that people could misconstrue us for liking each other and since if we were Josh wouldn’t know he was getting a hollow horrid girl so I keep away. But the kids on the bus tease us especially the middle schoolers who secretly like Sam. How could they like that vain show pony? He had perfect hair and was obsessed over his teeth. Who would like that thing? Then Sam starts making jokes. “Yes! Gabs fell in love with me and I with her. Oh tell them honey, tell them about how we met.” I leap in. “Well He was Tall.” I glance at him nodding. “His hair was Dark. And..” I lean in. “He was ASIAN! OH! It was like a horror movie! but as you can see I got over his deformities.” I had nothing against asians except him because he was ridiculous and he was shocked and pouting and I couldn’t help it. I giggled lightly. Smiling like I hadn’t. Then I put my hands over my mouth and went back to reading but I’m sure my eyes had come back again and didn’t look dumb for that second. Another time I was telling him about how I hated a certain boy for ruining my one favorite book. “He scribbled all over every page for no reason. I cried. I hate him. And if you ever tell I’ll never speak to you again.” At the bus stop where we all (the whole school) at the end of the day I heard an “ahem” behind me. I turn and Sam is standing with the hated boy. “He want’s to tell you something.” Sam gestures to the hated boy. “I’m…soooory”. He sneers. Then something unexpectedly happens. Sam who happens to be a pacifist punches him in the stomach. “You have to mean it!” The mean guy sobers up “I’m sorry.” He says honestly. “Say for what.” Sam growls. “For ruining your book.” My walls come down or at least some. “Oh!” My eyes shine. “I forgive you.” I manage a smile. Sam grins and I still smile even though it’s Sam, or maybe because it’s Sam.We get onto the bus and I feel a lightness. I sit. Sam sits. “Thank You.” My voice is soft so he brings his ear closer. “Thank You.” He looks at me. I try to frown because I’m embarrassed. “Not that, it was um special.” I sit and we don’t talk.
Another time we’re on the bus and it’s Friday and we’re homebound. “Gabs.” Sam asks. “Should I cut my hair?” I look at him and I feel a devil on my shoulder. I pretend to muse seriously over the question then I nod gravely. “Yeah I think you should cut it all off.” I had a reputation of being honest and also his hair was slightly annoying. Not cute like he must think, I thought. I went home for the weekend and I got on the bus noticing a new kid out of the corner of my eye. Cute, I think. It’s not until we walk into school and I see Sam’s red shoes on the new kid. I look up. It IS SAM. And he, he’s. HIS hair! It’s cut with a little bit longer for bangs. His face is framed and his teeth flash against his hair. I realize then that Sam is handsome. I feel jolted and everyone at school is raving about the cut. The next week I hide from him I’m afraid to show my ugly face to him. Suddenly I want to be pretty but I don’t know how. I put my hair back one day and I go to school. On the bus Sam tries to talk to me but I duck my face and hurry in. My friends give me compliments on face that day though so I look in the mirror and I look changed. My face is soft and kind and my eyes are like brown shiny marbles. My dark hair frames my face and my clothes look comfortable. I talk a lot at the end of the day to Sam. Smiling at his attention I feel like he cant see my ugliness. Afterall I only did this not to burden him. Right? I believe that.
Then my mom and I see a great new house it’s beautiful and I immediately love it. There’s rooms for the three of us but I’ll have to…change buses. It doesn’t bother me but as the time winds down I open more like a flower. I have no idea why I’m so loved even though I’m so mean. I’m so taciturn but I feel my family and friends love and new friendships. One day I get off the bus and mom tells me “We move today!” I forgot. I turn around and wave at Sam desperate. Why? I feel so panicked. He doesn’t notice and the bus leaves. I know we have school together but I don’t feel so hot. We move and I go on a different bus. I don’t tell them until a week later Sam walks up to me in the hall. He’s about to ask me about it I know it! Sure it’s a little late in the game to notice but he did notice. He ponts and laughs, “Ha. Ha The bus missed your stop.” My face deadpans, IMMEDIATELY. I look at him then I push past. It was all in my head. It’s a pill but I swallow it. Four school days later he comes up to me. “So you’re not on the bus anymore.” I stare at him wondering whether I should help him out. I stare until he’s uncomfortable. “Yes,” I reply brusquely, “I moved.” He ducks his head and walks back to where he was standing. I am ANGRY! That’s it. NOT sad. I knew I was a hollow girl like the poem. I knew I never was a good conversationalist. I knew I wasn’t pretty. There are two weeks of 10th grade left and I utterly avoid him for a week. Yet whenever he glimpses me he gives me soft smiles. Maybe even shy. Don’t Do That. I want to tell him. It’s confusing me. I wonder where my bitterness went. Then it hits me it jerks me to a wall. Am I being, a jerk? I concede that Yes, I am. On Monday I ready myself. I look nice and presentable and I walk up to Sam. “I’m Sorry. I was angry at you so I ignored you.” Sam blinks, he is in his class room other people can hear us.”Why?” Sam asks. My hands shake but I clench them. “I was angry.” I grate out. “Yes but what for?” “You didn’t notice when I moved. Ziba noticed and the kids said hi to me. You didn’t though.” He looks a little afraid. Oh, my stomach is quaking. “I’m Sorry,” he says and then “Could it be, that you like me?” I bite my tongue because this is what I wanted all along. but I am still a hollow girl. I remember a girl from my chorus class who told me she liked him. She was very pretty and very good. It showed in her blue eyes. I remember how abused I was and how I learned to always treasure and never burden someone with dead weight. I was dead weight. Sam was a good guy and good guys require good girls. It’s like a match. “No, I never liked you that way.” I smile like he’s so silly. “But now that I’m not angry at you anymore I’ll tell you who likes you. She’s perfect.” “Who?” He believes I can’t lie. “Lindsey Cronelle.” His eyes shine like perfect black pearls. And I nod resolute in this. I walk away because it will sort itself out. 5 days later school ends and I watch Sam leave hand in hand with Lindsey. Since school is over I can say it now. I crouch and put my face in my hands. My eyes are streaming. My palms are wet. “I love you Sam!”
He left the next year and visits our school sometimes. It’s been a year now and I feel strong. So strong now that I can love the right way again. I’m going to move on but I will always treasure my 10th grade year. I feel like I want people to know what love really is. So now that he’ll never read this and I’ve changed every name but his and my nickname I feel like I can be free.

(Screen) Name: Gabrielle

It happened during my year seven summer holiday me and a boy that i had fancied for seven months started becoming really good freinds and hanging out a lot one day i eventually got the courage to ask him out and he said yes. i was really happy that we were together. we always used to go down this park near were we both lived. i used to hang out with him and his friends i was never aloud to hang out with mine though as he didn’t like them. i loved him so much that i didn’t hang around with them. the second day of us going out we were already kissing and hugging. the third day we went swimming and we were both really flirty and kept pushing each other in the pool. we were at te top of the pool and we started kissing everyone was staring but i didn’t care. after a few weeks we broke up. it ruined are friendship at first. but after a while we became good friends again i still fancied him for ages after but i got a new boyfriend he kept playing me around and we broke up three times in one week so i ended it. then i got a new boyfriend and we loved each other and kissed straight away and didn’t care what anyone thought about us. but then my ex boyfriend started fancying me again so he called me a slag and a get around because i had a new boyfriend then my friend fancied my new boyfriend and got upset with me and my friend my boyfriend and friends stayed out all night one night and got drunk and were smoking and my friend got jealous got pissed and started flirting with my boyfriend so we started tonging each other to wind her up me and my friend had a fight and werent freinds for weeks then eventually we realised we were stupid and made up. we realised boys werent worth it. then i got back with my boyfriend from the summer holidays and we were together for a long time. young love is sweet but never lasts.

(Screen) Name: chloe

My first “love”, that I am aware of, had been in the first year of middle school.
Had I known that I loved her from the start? No, but my philosophy became love and appreciation of one another. I had been studying what love really meant.
What made me love her?
- I loved her because she was different from everyone else
- I loved her because she was trustworthy, caring, and most of all – she loved me back.
- I love her because she was beautiful, and still didn’t try hard to make her self look any better.

I’m sure there are millions of other things that have been missing, because love is always a mystery – love is something that philosophers can’t interpret with a definite answer. Love is gods gift, and we shouldn’t uncover its mystery as for we will be discovering something fate never had the “besoin” to tell us.

(Screen) Name: Owain Davies

We met in school, 11th grade, one of the first days…He was is the neighbouring section.we didn’t take notice of each other.we were friends but nothing more than that. Then came up a school outing. he was there and i was there..we belonged to the same group. so we chose to hangout together.there were small..things that happened…that weren’t special but turned out special for the two of us…We exchanged phone no. and started coming closer and closer…he already had a crush on me, but thought i was dating someone else, so he chose not to tell me. One day i happened to ask him if he has feelings for someone in this school, and to that he replied very truthfully, YES! for two weeks i kept asking for clues and guessing who the girl was.. at the end of which it was clear, who she was. Me. i wasnt into him then. thought a lot. Do i like him? and had had the record of not having crushes…and then suddenly i realised,
i am in love. he asked me out.i said yes.it was all working out well until he realised after a month that he was still not over his ex girlfriend. and had nothing to say then because i was totally into him. we broke up but chose to be friends. i wanted him to be happy so i told him that im over him.its been a year now since we broke up, and i still have the same feelings for him.

(Screen) Name: aishu.raj

When I was in middle school, I always tried to give dating a chance. I was only 14 at the time, so
of course I was a bit experienced and naive. My cousin Kristina who was also my age seemed to
be more into serious relationships then I had ever been. She kissed boys in the halls while I just pushed my boyfriend away childishly, as if he was my best friend. My mother knew Kristina was older mentally than physically, while I was still into cartoons and wanting to hang out with friends. I remember seeing Kristina lose her first love, which seemed unbearable. She cried for a long time, i myself could feel her heartache. I never wanted to go what she went through, and i always heard my mom say, ” I’ll never have to worry about Alyssa, shes always mean to them boys.”
So after the weeks i seen my cousin cry over how tragic it was to lose her first love, vowed and said,” That will never be me.”
High school soon came at an instant, I was a freshman at North County. My classes were all far away in different halls, there was no group to follow anymore. I remember walking into my first class, it was foundations of art. The smell of paint stung my nose, giving me a small headache. My teacher was a tall skinny woman, thick rimmed glasses, olive green pants, and freckles the covered her nose. Ms. Gshweng was her name. I had gotten to pick my own seat. Which was quite difficult since this was my very first class as a highschooler. One table full of preps, another with immature freshman who I didn’t want to get involved with, then the table with one friend i knew. His name was John, in my middle school last year. I was completely overwhelmed that I had someone to talk to. There were two other boys at the table, and with out me knowing, one of these boys would change my life dramatically. John introduced me to a boy who sat accrossed from him, his name was Charles but everyone called him Bunky.
I sat beside him and smiled, ” Hey I’m Alyssa, im a freshman here.” Bunky gave me a warm smile, ” Hey I’m a senior here.” Knowing he was a Senior made me a little nervous, he was two years older then me. I never was use to talking to teens older then me, so i figured I’d have to make an adjustment. Months had went by, and the more i talked to him the more i grew fonder. I’d always take his house keys so that he would have to find me near the buses at the end of the day, because i felt the need to see him again. We became close, so close. We talked online, in class, in the halls. Occasionally he’d walk me to class. He was my best friend and the only thing i could talk about with my friends.
Then the dreaded ending of the semester came, where we would switch to our new classes. He went to photography as well as I. But on different times. It killed me not being able to see him as much as i did. Art class kept us together, talking. I realized, i was in love with him, his walk, that crooked smile of his when he told me the ridiculous stories of things he had done in the past. Never have i had such strong feelings. Then in April came the school year was reaching it’s end, which meant not even being able to glimpse at Bunky in the halls. I cringed at the thought.
One night i went online, since Bunky had told me he added me on myspace. I got a message saying that he liked me, and that he thought he was below my standards since i was so beautiful. I felt butterflies in my stomach as i read each sentence. After that day, i asked him if he’d date me and he said yes with no hesitations.
We dated for a year, I fell head over heels in love with that boy. He was everything i ever hoped for. Everything i ever needed, or so i thought. Clearly do i remember a month after our year anniversary, he all together stopped talking to me as much, no phone calls every night at 9:30 to tell me goodnight, or the sweet kisses he would give me on my forehead. The things about me on his myspace were deleted. I felt my heart begin to beat faster as i thought of reasons of why he would leave me. I gave him everything i had. My love for him was unconditional, I’d miss everyday he was away. I swore up and down that he was god sent, my gift from heaven.
Sometimes i felt like i was over reacting but the signs were so clear. I just didn’t want to believe it. Denial was my greatest downfall. My friend angel and her boyfriend Danny were worried since i was spending most of my time indoors locking myself in my room, so they took me out to get a pedicure. Bunky somewhat off my mind, i kept looking at my cellphone waiting for his text. Something he hadn’t sent me for 3 days. Nor did i speak to him for 3 days. Which got me worried. Then my phone vibrated. I felt my heart leap as i grabbed the phone from the end table in the nail salon. It was from Bunky! But when i opened the text, my excitement faded. My heart fell all the way to the pit of my stomach. The text had said, ” I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore.”
At that moment i felt truly alone. Tears fell like bullets, my stomach tied into a knot. I cradled my head in my hands. I left the salon and went to the bathroom, Angel and Danny followed. Then i had passed out on the floor because of stress.
My life became my worst nightmare. I lost my first love, something i vowed i would never go through. But it hit me like lightning, he was gone i would never see him again. For he didn’t want to. I was mad at him. But now that i look back, i wish i could thank him. For giving the best year of my life. He shown me what true love is, without him i never would have felt it. I miss him dearly, sometimes i think of that day i met him in class, i still walk by that class today. I just smile. He’ll always have a special place in my heart. And he will always be known as my first love.

(Screen) Name: AlyssaKarn

Well, it all started with a phone call. The four words that have me into tears today. “Angelo asked me out.” That is, if you don’t count the sobbing. My cousin had called me. He wanted Shannon, my best friend to call him. He said Angelo (The guy I’m practically in love with) had something he told my cousin to tell her. When I hung up after threeway-ing the call and hanging up so Shannon could call him, I was crying. I expected him to tell her Angelo wanted to go out with her. I was babysitting my mother’s friend’s kids. I’m very close to them and neither of the two noticed my tears. When Shannon called me, I didn’t give her a chance to speak. “What the fuck did he say?” Very terrible language for an eleven year old. She was crying as she said “Promise you won’t hate me.” I told her I didn’t have an answer for that. That it all depended on what he had told her. She finally said the words that pushed me over the edge into the pit of never ending darkness. “Angelo asked me out.” I didn’t speak. I was covering my mouth, my entire body looking as though I was hiccuping over and over again. Then tears kept streaming out and I couldn’t breathe. I started silently gasping for air but it seemed nothing could reach me. She kept telling me that we were sisters and sisters didn’t hate each other and that she was sorry. I finally told her I had to go through a straight voice. “Payton. Payton! Do you hate me?” I told her no but she said: “Okay. I love you. Remember that. We’re sisters and I love you.” Of course, we aren’t really sisters and I whispered I love you too. She finally hung up and I started sobbing and crying. Trevor, the oldest son asked me what was wrong and Whitney, his little sister, looked at me. I ordered for them to get out of the room and they did. I ran to the corner of my room and hid under my desk and started crying loudly. I finally needed air again and left the room, swaying side to side. The kids had told my mother and she had stopped me in the hall and asked me what was wrong. I told her to leave me alone but she wouldn’t. I screamed at her that Angelo asked Shannon out and shoved her away. I walked out the front door and she started to follow. I yelled at her to stay inside and she did. Everyone knew to back off. I sat in the middle of the rode and called my friend Taylor. I told her after two minutes of crying and her begging me to tell her what was wrong that Angelo asked Shannon out. She was there in all of five minutes. I forgot my friend Nicole was coming so after my brother came (Which was really awkward) And I stayed out there, crying in Taylor’s arms and the people down the street staring at me, for an hour or longer. Then I went inside and the kids and their mother left. Taylor wound up spending the night. Nicole didn’t find out what had happened until she got there. Micheal, my cousin, came to spend the night. I cried several times that night, locked myself in the bathroom and cried while Taylor and Nicole tried to get in. I hid in my backyard and cried, clawing at the brick. And I wake up almost every night at some time from a dream of a flashback of that day and cry.

(Screen) Name: The forgotten.

I was a runaway and 14 yrs old when I ran into Sam, literaly. His big brown eyes were out of a romance noval book cover and so was the rest of him. I had just came into possession of a 72′ Nova and had traveled 50 miles up North of Denver to get away from a potenial boyfriend and I had my eyes set for a motel so I could get some sleep.

The next morning I woke to go find food and coffee and figure out my future. Thats when I drove my car into his friends car, a minor bump. Sam got out of the car and asked if I was ok. I noticed that I was’nt wearing a bra and that my young breast were nipple hard in the cool morning breeze. I followed Sam’s eye’s which were looking directly at my breast and smiled. I was still a virgin and felt a blush creep up my cheeks, I could’nt believe that I was here in this moment with such an incrediable looking guy.

After the formalities, Sam asked if I was lost and if he could help in any way. I put on my tough girl mode and told him no. I was invited to his friends party that night , in which I agreed to come.

And come I did. I went back to the hotel I was at and found the sexiest dress I had.

On my way over there I was butterflying in my gut thinking that if fate was meant to be, it will.

When I arrived I was greeted by Sam who introduced me to everyone. Then he turned to me and without a word he gave me the deepest kiss. Sam then led me upstairs and again without a word he took me to his private quarters and undressed me and made the most passionate love to me any man could even imagine doing to a young women.

After 10 years it ended. With us being so young to begin with, maturity finaly took that step and we both moved on, but I think about him and I’m sure he thinks about me and in our new lives as grown adults we have been the better for it.

author: taja

I was young back then and I never knew love until I found him. He first asked me to be his best friend and I was cool with that. He used to call me everyday and we chat together every night. I love writing poems and I realized that he does too. Back then, I know nothing. What I knew back then was that I fell in love with my best friend but unfortunately, he was in love with my friend. I sent an email to that girl and told her about how I felt. I was shocked that my love knew her password so he read everything. From that day, he was sorry and so was I. I forgave him and everything was not the way it was before. We never communicate since then and until now. I’ve always thought that he forgot about me but it ain’t the same for me. He will remain always in my heart and the only thing i could do is let him be happy with my friend. I did everything to forget but then i realized, love never fades. Love never forget, it has always been part of our life. Now, the worst thing that happened is after i let go of my love to be with my friend, he never did go out with my friend after all. He fell in love with ANOTHER woman. how stupid was I? and how dumb was he?. Now i continue my daily adventure looking for the right guy. And there goes the flow of the story.

(Screen) Name: mystery_riot

It all started out around football season in 7th grade. I was on the flag football team but I didn’t get to play because I broke my thumb. I just went to the practices to watch. Well one of my friends, Tiffany, came by and this tall kid with black spiky hair was with her. She introduced me to him and he had the cutest smile too. He had the most perfect tan skin tone, beautiful dark brown eyes, semi-deep voice, and you could tell he was PURE Puerto Rican! Oh there I go daydreaming about him again.. Anyways, he smiled directly at me and we locked eyes for a few seconds. He stood next to me, put his right arm around my shoulders, looked down at me and said “Hey I’m Chris. You wanna dance? C’mon let’s dance.” Then he did something that looked like a short two-step dance, i gave him a weird look, he laughed and walked away. I immediately fell in love at that second. I began wondering what my life would be like if we went out. He stopped coming to our practices but he found me online and we started talking as “friends”. A month went by and he began flirting with me online. Another month went by and that’s when he asked me out. I said “Yes” but I didn’t make it seem like I was desperate or anything. Friday, he came to my school the next as soon as the bell rang to go home. I was very nervous because It was only our 2nd day of going out. I gave him a hug, then told him that I had rehearsal. (I was in a play at the time) we said good-bye and walked separate ways. He invited me to the movies over the weekend with a bunch of friends. I told my step mom that I was going out with Chris and asked permission to go to the movies. She told me that she was going to talk with my dad which scared the hell out out of me. My real mom pulled up into the driveway to pick me up. It was my weekend with my mom. On Saturday night I asked my mom if I could go to the movies on Sunday with Chris. She told me that it was up to my father. (She always says that!!!) My dad said “No”, of course.. A few days later my dad and I had “The Talk” and he said that we could consider ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. Two days later he found out that I had a D in science and he flipped out and told me that I wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend. It was too late because we were already going out and I’m not going to break up with him just for THAT!
I ignored my dad and continued to date him. After a month and a half of dating, I was walking around school with a few of my friends. Then one of Chris’s friends saw me and told me that Chris was at the walker’s gate and he wanted to see me. ALL of my friends were like “Oh My God! Come on let’s go! Fix your hair! Hurry up!” They rushed me over to the gate and it was pretty crowded. I saw him on the other side of the gate and wondered how I would get to him. A teacher opened the gate and a whole bunch of kids came pouring out. One of my friends pushed me through all of them until Chris was right in front of me. We hugged and he introduced me to his older brother. Behind Chris I saw Tiffany and my other friend Emily with a camera ready to take a picture. I signaled for them to leave and they went behind the gate to where I can’t see them. I looked at Chris again and he was telling his friends to go away to and that he’ll catch up with them later. We locked eyes and I guess he panicked because he was like “Okay well bye!!”. I said bye and I went to give him another hug. I had my arms wrapped around his waist and he had his arms around my shoulders. He hugged me back and while hugging me, he gave me my first kiss. Of course I kissed him back, I didn’t stay frozen. His lips were so soft. I was surprised because my heart wasn’t beating fast and I wasn’t nervous. I felt completely comfortable and safe in his arms. We finally let go and left. I saw Tiffany and Emily jump out from behind the gate and they were laughing. I don’t know what they were laughing about but I didn’t really care. Chris was the only thing on my mind. He’s my First True Love and forever I will keep that kiss. I love you Chris!!

(Screen) Name: DoRkYKiiD4LyFe

It was around 40 years ago when I first laid eyes on my first love. He was tall with sandy blonde hair and a friendly smile. Mel was sitting on a bench at the baseball field down the street from where our house was. He caught my eye from the beginning. A guy down the street from me introduced us, and I was smitten from the first minute. Little by little we got to know each other. I fell in love with him right from the start. Not knowing how he really felt about me, I would do stupid things to test him. He would call and I would blow him off or talk stupidly. All the while i was dying inside with desire. He would come over to the house, and I would make him wait for me to come out, all along acting like I wasn’t interested in him. But contrary to how I acted, I was so in love with this guy I could cry. So we finally hooked up. Not in the way kids do now, but I mean, we got together. The first time he kissed me, I knew he was the love of my life. But was thinking, how could I find him at such a young age. I was always second guessing myself and letting others influence me. Anyways, we sort of dated for three years, each summer. We went to different schools, and were in all kinds of activities, the both of us. So during the school year, we were so busy, we never got much time to be together or call. But every summer, we were stuck together like glue. I wish now I would have told him how i really felt about him. but I was scared to. He actually wanted us to run off to Kentucky to get married at 16. And instead of saying what I really wanted to, the only thing I could say was,”my dad would kill me if I did that”. My father too was in part the one who made me have second thoughts about Mel. He would say, you want to be barefoot and pregnant your whole life with this guy? He came from a strict Catholic family and it was quite large. So he had me thinking it wasn’t a good idea to get with him. Well I wish I could have stood up to my dad, but I couldn’t. I was so in love with Mel that my heart would break when I wasn’t around him. His kiss, his touch, I still remember everything we ever did. The one thing i regret is that we never made love to each other. I was too scared. So after a few years of what he would see as regection, he moved on. He sat outside my home one day with his new girlfriend and I was devistated. That was his way of saying it was over. I was crushed and mad at myself for letting others get in the way of how I felt about him. So we both moved on with our lives and one day, my sister was in the dentist office. Apparently his wife was the hygentist there. Well, she was asking my sister if she knew me and all kinds of questions. Then she said to my sister, you know Mel can’t stop talking about her. My sister never told me this until years later. That was around the same time she told me that she had run into Mel at a store. He was asking about me and said, you know, me and Brenda really had something. Well, I had married the man I dated right after Mel. Looking for that same romance and never found it. I thought of Mel for the whole time i was married to him. Found another man and made a life with him. We have been married over 30 years. And even though I love my husband. there is still that missing feeling I had with Mel. I dream of the day we meet up again and just talk about what went wrong and I would love to tell him how I felt back then. If I could go back and do things over again. I would tell him how I felt and would definately make love to the man I have desired all these years. I have no idea how he feels about me, so I never try and contact him, for fear of embarrassment and rejection. But I still want to someday let him know. He was the love of my life!!! And I will never forget him as long as I live.

(Screen) Name: brenda