What can a person do when they see their best friend get hurt? I found out the hard way. She was not the type to fall in love, but there she was totally out of control. To her he was all she could ever ask for, for him it was just sex. I heard of him before. To me he was just another one of those, you know the fuck and chuck type. He’d look you deep in the eyes and smile like a little boy, and you was all his. Well, that’s what it was like until he met me.
When he got tired of my friend, he decided it was my turn. He start playing his little games hoping he would get something out of it. The thing he didn’t know though, was that you can’t play a game on a person who is already a player. Yeh, that’s what I was. I knew how to wrap a guy round my finger. I always used to get what I want. Bless him, he had no clue what was coming to him. I could no longer watch my friend get hurt, so I decided to give him a taste of his own game.
The plan was to make him fall in love with me and for me to break his heart, just like he broke my friends. Of course she was a part of it too. I was playing hard to get, and he was getting more and more turned on. We met almost every day, and night after night I was getting to know him more and more. One night were went for a walk, he turned around, stoped me and said that he could make me fall in love with him, but he doesn’t want to hurt me. I don’t know what happened but I put my arm around his shoulders, looked him in the eyes and before the words of what I was going to say came out, he kissed me.
We spent the whole night talking. Talking about life, about our plans and dreams, about us. For a bit I forgot all about the game. We watched the sun rise, than he walked me home and kissed me again. I was the first ever girl who he open up to. He was mine, all I had to do now was break his heart. That’s when I realized I couldn’t do so.
The more I got to know him the less I understood,but at the same time with all my heart. He was a mystery, so fascinating. So imperfect, but so beautiful. Before I realized I belonged to him. I kept lieing to my self, pretending I hated him. My pride was saying I had to win. My heart was asking me be with him. I was playing indifferent, crying inside.
The worst thing was, either way I was loosing. By loosing the game I could have him just for a minute, a minute when he could be all mine! before she would get me back. By winning I would loose him. I understood I was only fooling my self. I decided to tell my friend about everything. She loved him first, and she was my best friend. I knew he could never be mine. I couldn’t lie anymore.
He found out a few weeks after. I decided to tell him my self. That’s how I lost him. I know he hates me now. I don’t blame him. I guess, we cant plan everything in life. It’s full of surprises. You never know what life had planed for you.
Nights like this make me feel like nothing has changed.I still don’t want to take my make up off or get changed. Deep inside I hope I will get a text at 2am asking me to go meet him, and I would spend the whole night cuddling up to him in the back sit of his car. I can still feel my heart beating faster when he used to look at me. And although he never said it, I know he felt the same way. I miss that feeling, I miss everything about him. His voice, his eyes, the way he shivered when I scratched his back down his spine. The sound he would make when I would bite his lip. The warmth I felt when he was near.
I miss him so much. But a game can’t be played by two players, that way nobody wins, you both get hurt. I guess he will never know how I felt… how much I want to be in his arms one more time. I can only blame my self. He was not mine to love.
(Screen) Name: Player