There was a time that Raymond and I are reminiscing some things that happened to us way way back from the childhood and how we find each other again.
It all starts when we are in primary level in school way back 1991. Me and Raymond are both in the same section. Since we are still young we only think is just playing. We are still in the same class from 1st grade to 4th grade. If I am not mistaken I only have one crush when I was in 4th grade, guess who? Its him my fiancée. That time as a rule in the school students have to go to the canteen to get the foods and drinks, he was one of the boys who will get the tray of juices, even if I wanted to replace the my girl classmate who get the tray of sandwiches I can’t coz my mother is a teacher in that school and I am not allowed to do it. On the 5th grade we are no longer classmates, I remember that sometime in my Home Economics class one of my boy classmate told me that someone crushes on me and they said it was Raymond, I was soo shy that time , I just told them that whatever they say, I don’t believe in them. But my heart beats fast I even wanted to hide or hug my mom. Another year passed and I transferred school here in our city coz my mom told me that I am too young to travel from here in our place to school. That’s the reason we’ve been apart, but that time I don’t mind things coz I never felt love maybe, I just go on with my life, I had boyfriends but not happy, when I graduated in college, got a job, sometimes I asked myself where is he, the man that I will marry in the future…
On the other hand I never thought that someone is looking for me or I should say someone like me… When I transferred school he looked for me. He told me that sometime in his childhood days, when he sleeps, he talked, he called my name, he remember that my legs is a bit hairy, I have 2 types of skirt in school, one is long and the other is short. When he told me that I smiled and I cried, I never thought how he liked me that time, so since I left, he just go on in his life coz it was just like a puppy crush, he had girlfriends.
Here’s the sweetest part of the story.
Present –
One time, I’m surfing net using facebook, someone send me a message, I asked to myself who is this guy? It said there,” Hi! How are you?” when I saw the name of this guy I stop then I called my best friend and I told her that this name is familiar to me then she said he’s our classmate in elementary, he has a girl twin, now I remembered but just to make sure I asked him where did he study when he was still in primary level and confirmed he is the guy, he asked how my mom coz he used to be one of my mom’s student. We just message to each other, I wanted to chat with him that time but I can’t see him online, then I laughed hahaha how would I chat with him he is not on my friends list so I added him. We chat about us, how are we now, lots of things are, he is in Qatar, I have a boyfriend that time, I told him that I’m engaged even if it’s not true. Some of our classmates build him up to me. It happened that me and my boyfriend are not in good terms and there is he for me. It is easy to fall in love with him, for me all that I am looking for in a guy I found in him. I broke up with my boyfriend and I choose him. It’s funny coz even if we haven’t met for about 15 yrs the feelings it still there, the only witnessed in our sharing of love is the internet, he proposed to me on the chat, I don’t mind what other said to me I just said yes coz I feel soo much love, respect, happiness, all that u can never imagine. At first our relationship is not perfect there are a lot of trials headed to us but we fought for our love. We called each other, we don’t mind how much do we spend as long as we heard our voices we are happy. Now I am waiting for him to come back here in our city and plan for the next step.

(Screen) Name: Sheray01

The Refuge III
By
Elio O. DiClaudio
&
Amy L. Melendez

You witnessed our first meeting; you were witness to our last
You brought us back together again, on one of the darkest days in this lifetime,
To your “church” where we met for the first time so many years before.
Thru the days you watched us sweat beneath the desiccating sun
Loving each other, always wanting more, never enough time
And at night in the back seat when we were one
Kneeling down to Pray

In the shadows’ neath your boardwalk, she opened me to love
Inside each other, we needed to remember this day, moment
Not long after I stand on our spot alone, with just the sun above
So, I could leave him again, or did he leave me, at that “church” door
As sweat turned to tears, I sought comfort by the moonlight
Beautiful Bella Luna, was not written for us to stay too long,
Your rippling waves murmuring “don’t fret it’s alright”
I had no one to comfort me, only imitations

Kill me first with your sword, then yourself…do it so we can be together, promise me my Love
Water to water, salt to salt, that’s the cycle that’s the beat
I had no holy water to cleanse my broken heart
I jump into you, the waves claim the tears
Wanting Him to jump back into me, to make me HIS again
Water to water, salt to salt, the cycles complete
My heart went the wrong way, in every other direction, but HIS
As sweat and tears merge in your cleansing baptism
Take me back to our “Church” forgive me my TRUE LOVE
With simple and humble words, I offer you this tribute
With silent suffering, I learned to write down every word
You gave me peace, you gave me refuge
I want peace again, wanting to go back to our “Church” our sweet refuge

A synchronicity emerging
The clock is ticking, the heart is pounding, a synchronistic event is being born
A birthday celebration, a class reunion, family gatherings
Yes, Yes its time for this to happen, now, again, nothing to fear
Voids of time, in between which a chance to reunite old souls
I remember you – dear friend, I remember the smile, the face, the touch
Back home where years ago together they took their first strolls
So many years, how I’ve wanted to touch you again and to see your beautiful face
One, twenty nine, two thousand ten
Room 309 at nine pm
All the 9’s, they added up perfectly…thank you Universe!
Nevertheless, the numbers don’t add up, the hearts and souls are out sync
The bodies grasp and struggle for the moment
Kissing again, loving again, too much too soon – WAIT (Please, Don’t Go)
Searching in the candlelight, it vanished in a blink
Lost in the frenzy of a ticking clock
Sweet angels, loving angels…. – WAIT (Don’t Go Sugar)
Noise echoing inside my head
If not here and now what other when and where instead?
By the light of that beautiful moon outside the room, – WAIT (Listen)
The energy’s in chaos we can’t refute
Is there still the chance for our last refuge?
BY THE LIGHT OF THE BELLA LUNA, THAT NIGHT, IN A NEW LIFETIME, WE WERE JOINED AGAIN AT OUR “CHURCH”, WERE WE FOUND OUR REFUGE

We were given the blessing now, for us to recognize, that WE DID find our Refuge, our Sanctuary, with Each Other, whenever and whenever it was possible.

(Screen) Name: leyna

salam….i love A alot,,i really dont know what made me love him,but this much i know that maybe Allah wanted this that we love eachother,
now he is my life,i just cant live without him even one second..
he also loves me too and wanted to marry me..
every night we talk in phone and every day we send sms to eachother,,
you know ,,every night i see him in my dreams,he is like an angel..he is my everything,,i really very love him alot..
when i miss him tears starts falling from my eyes and till i dont talk to him i cant stop tears….
he is in my soul,i have given him my heart forever..i love him more than myself.he also loves me so muchhhh…
its my only wish to marry him and to live with him forever till my death..
MAY ALLAH HELP US TO LIVE TOGETHER..

(Screen) Name: love

The Refuge III
BY
A. Melendez/E. DiClaudio

You witnessed our first meeting; you were witness to our last

You brought us back together again, on one of the darkest days in this lifetime,

To our “church” where we met for the first time so many years before.

Thru the days you watched us sweat beneath the desiccating sun

Loving each other, always wanting more, never enough time

And at night in the back seat when we were one
Kneeling down to Pray

In the shadows’ neath your boardwalk, she opened me to love

Inside each other, we needed to remember this day, moment

Not long after I stand on our spot alone, with just the sun above

So, I could leave him again, or did he leave me, at our “church” door

As sweat turned to tears, I sought comfort by the moonlight

Beautiful Bella Luna, was not written for us to stay too long,

Your rippling waves murmuring “don’t fret it’s alright”
I had no one to comfort me, only imitations

Kill me first with your sword, then yourself…do it so we can be together, promise me my Love

Water to water, salt to salt, that’s the cycle that’s the beat

I had no holy water to cleanse my broken heart
I jump into you, the waves claim the tears

Wanting Him to jump back into me, to make me HIS again

Water to water, salt to salt, the cycles complete
My heart went the wrong way, in every other direction, but HIS

As sweat and tears merge in your cleansing baptism

Take me back to our “Church” forgive me my TRUE LOVE

With simple and humble words, I offer you this tribute

With silent suffering, I learned to write down every word
You gave me peace, you gave me refuge

I want peace again, wanting to go back to our “Church” our sweet refuge

A synchronicity emerging
The clock is ticking, the heart is pounding, a synchronistic event is being born

A birthday celebration, a class reunion, family gatherings

Yes, Yes its time for this to happen, now, again, nothing to fear

Voids of time, in between which a chance to reunite old souls

I remember you – dear friend, I remember the smile, the face, the touch

Back home where years ago together they took their first strolls

So many years, how I’ve wanted to touch you again and to see your beautiful face

One, twenty nine, two thousand ten
Room three 0 nine, at nine pm

All the nine’s, they added up perfectly…thank you Universe!

Nevertheless, the numbers don’t add up, the hearts and souls are out sync

The bodies grasp and struggle for the moment
Kissing again, loving again, too much too soon – WAIT (Please, Don’t Go)

Searching in the candlelight, it vanished in a blink
Lost in the frenzy of a ticking clock
Sweet angels, loving angels…. – WAIT (Don’t Go Sugar)

Noise echoing inside my head
If not here and now what other when and where instead?

By the light of that beautiful moon outside the room, – WAIT (Listen)

The energy’s in chaos we can’t refute

Is there still the chance for our last refuge?

BY THE LIGHT OF THE BELLA LUNA, THAT NIGHT, IN A NEW LIFETIME, WE WERE JOINED AGAIN AT OUR “CHURCH”, WERE WE FOUND OUR REFUGE

We were given the blessing now, for us to recognize, that WE DID find our Refuge, our Sanctuary, with Each Other, whenever and whenever it was possible.

(Screen) Name: Amy

THESE FEELINGS CAN NEVER GO AWAY
By A. Melendez

The feelings I have for him. The way I think of him, the way I remember him, his soft sweet voice, that calls for me in the night. Those wonderful large sad eyes of his and the way they filled with tears when I was crying into his hands begging him not let me go again. The way his body felt against mines, the last time we laid down together, when his heart was touching my heart. Still hear it pounding, still can hear him say my name…over and over and over again. Or was it me…saying his name over and over and over again. These feelings of passion and want, so much want that I can’t bear. It feels like I want to “catch up” with the years that have past and separated us through circumstances.

Can this be what has made all the great star-crossed lovers stories of the past famous? The lovers that never got it quite right and were destined to be torn apart and separated.

Lovers like Romeo and Juliet, Heathcliff and Catherine, Yuri Zchivago and Lara? I’d like to think so; I’d like to glorify this “love” as something like that. But this is neither a movie nor a sad song. This is a crime to my heart…It’s a wound that does not go away. It sits in my heart and stays with me day and night.

Soulmates I have been told. What a laugh….soulmates? What am I learning now from this beautiful man….did I kill him in another lifetime? Were we gladiators fighting in a coliseum in Rome centuries ago and as he lay down I pierced his heart with my sword? Did I hold him captive in some dungeon every night and tortured him? Did I love him and leave him stranded somewhere with his heart pounding waiting for me to return? Did I run away and never come back into his arms again? Was that how it started?

Must have been a pain beyond your wildest imagination because surely now, I feel the consequences and the anguish returned to me. I have not stopped crying since I found him, I have not thought one second of a way to get him to “Come back to me”, his LOVE, the one he wanted before, the girl he longed for. I think I love him too much, if one can love someone that much. Maybe he is weak; maybe it’s too soon for him. All the excuses, and still, I lie alone in my bed, thinking of HIM and what went wrong…Fate, Destiny, Karma, Circumstances…all words

The story starts out innocently enough…July 13, 1977

A long time ago he felt this way about me. I was too young to know. Only a child myself, in many ways, just beginning to learn about the power that every young woman knows she has inside of her as she is turning into a woman. The sexual power a young beautiful girl has at the peak of her teen-age years can be very strong, especially to a young teen-age boy who was only too eager to be around her and love her.

He just happened to be there in July 1977 in a small deli near one of the favorite hang outs of all young people near the beach in Brooklyn, NY, I met him while my Cousin and I were buying our snacks in the morning and I heard her talking to someone at the counter as I bought my sweet peaches from the produce section. I heard her saying hello and that was when I heard a voice that must sound like what angel sounds when they talk.

At that time in my life, I took him for granted, another one of my sweet boyfriends who were in abundance in those early summers of my life in Brooklyn. A very handsome, strong, tall and sexy boy that I thought was a bit awkward but sweet, quiet but with a gentleness that you could also find in a good friend as well. My cousin introduced us as we walked together along the boardwalk. The same boardwalk that 33 years later, we would both find ourselves walking across, in a different season. This time there would be no bathing suits or shorts, no sunshine, no working on our tans and no anticipation for a “date” later on and no sitting by the water. This time, it would be cold and bitter but with a beautiful full moon out in the dark sky looking down on two beautiful sweet lovers of the past that Should Have Been.

What was I to know back then? How was I supposed to know…that this sweet and loving boy, now one of the most handsomest men I know, would end up back in my life and teaching me what the words “In Love” really means over 30 years and 30 summers later, in my “Golden Years”

I moved around quite a bit after I left him “standing at the beach”. I wanted to marry my first boyfriend ever. Only a short but brief marriage but always coming back to Brooklyn to see my family in between breaks from my young married life. Always, always, he was there. The sweet boy who was also my friend and playmate as I can remember. I never ever thought of him as anything more. We grew up alittle together. Shared some thoughts and good times. Always around, always someone I can speak to about my problems, but when I think about it now, I don’t think we ever really spoke about any problems, there were many more years ahead for those conversations.

As the years past, approaching my 50th year on this planet, I started to think more about my life and where it was going never to be fully satisfied with one job, place to live or man to love (it’s all a lot of oysters but no pearls). Its like the song from U2 – “I Still haven’t found what I’m Looking For.” Until one day – in September 2009…. My time for “Karmic debt repayment” began. It was to be the worst and the most wonderful time in my life…. my love, my wonderful, sweet and handsome love, was sent back to me, unknowingly, through sad news.

It was on September 22nd to be exact; that I found out a former boyfriend of mines had passed. He was the love of my teen-age years and I was devastated to learn that he had died at such an early age. It was such heartache to hear this and I cried so much for my friend. I should of known that these tears were but an omen, a prelude of what was to come in the next months
.
“…Hello Its Me, I’ve thought about us for a long, long time…”

What is it about speaking with someone that you have not spoken with in years that makes you nervous? I mean, what do you say to them??? Hello, how are you? Glad to hear your voice again? What’s going on? When he called me and I heard his voice, it was like hearing from a ghost, someone who was in the past, still frozen in time….It was very strange to me to hear this man again, this man who I knew from when he was a boy, someone who was just another boyfriend on the beach, a friend of the family, this man, that I had some of my earliest sexual experiences with, this man who is now, older, speaking to me from across the miles and who would eventually bring me to my knees for the true love that I started to feel for the first time in my small, chaotic, , miserable little life.

It Should Have Been Me.

That is all I could think about after this. Back into my life, wow, how could I even think that this guy would love me again? Should I play my cards right and sit and wait. My friend…Baby, come back to me, I would ask, beg, then we finally met in Brooklyn – January 2010. It was to be the happiest time in my life. It was also to be the beginning of a love affair that was so worth waiting for, the arguments we would have, sometimes not talking to each other for weeks, then months. It was the worst time in my life if I can remember now, my bloodshot eyes, missing him not calling me. I used to call him and leave a message for him to call me, silence, all the while from him. Death to me.

One time, he was ill, and I flew into LA to see him. I had to be careful and waited until I knew that I was to be the last of visitors. I stayed at a nearby hotel. I was so worried. He had a problem with his throat, he had some virus that stopped him from working for a while. I went to see him and he looked so tired and sad, but when he saw me come to him, he had that sweet smile on him again.

We were together for a few years until I fell ill. It was my daughter who told him that I was in the hospital. He came to see me and I was so embarrassed that he saw me that way. I did not even want him to come all that way. But I guess when you are in this much love with an old friend, distance is nothing. We came a long way from 1977 – it was no bother.

My love, who I never married, my lover, who I never gave a son to, my long lost love who was brought to me by Fate to love again, thank God, all I can say, Thank God that my Love was brought to light to see that this was all good, and worth it.

He comes by to see me, his Leyna as he always called me, every year now. Slowly as he walks towards me, he sits at the bench that faces me. Its been over 30 years since they laid me down to rest, as if I could ever rest, and when I see him, I still get that whistful feeling, like I did in life when I knew he was going to call me, or that one time when he visited me in my hotel room in Brooklyn years ago for the reunion. Still with that handsome face, sad eyes and sweet smile. He walks slower towards me. Once, I saw him weep into his hands. He wept so much that I thought he felt me sitting beside him. My sweet man, so happy to see him but wish he would not make that long pilgrimage to see me because it was so far for him to travel. Wonderful man, now a grandfather, loyal friend, my only love, who as I lay here, year after year, winter and coldness, the heat and the darkness, I still love….these feelings that can never go away, even in death.

To My Soulmate Elio- Winter, 2010
Chandler AZ

(Screen) Name: Amy

The Refuge III
By
Elio O. DiClaudio
&
Amy L. Melendez

You witnessed our first meeting;
you were witness to our last

You brought us back together again,
on one of the darkest days in this lifetime,

To our “church” where we met for the first time so many years before.

Thru the days you watched us sweat beneath the desiccating sun

Loving each other, always wanting more, never enough time

And at night in the back seat when we were one
Kneeling down to Pray

In the shadows’ neath your boardwalk, she opened me to love

Inside each other,
we needed to remember this day, this moment

Not long after I stand on our spot alone,
with just the sun above

So, I could leave him again,
or did he leave me, at our “church” door

As sweat turned to tears, I sought comfort by the moonlight

Beautiful Bella Luna, was not written for us to stay too long,

Your rippling waves murmuring “don’t fret it’s alright”

Kill me first with your sword, then yourself…do it so we can be together, promise me my Love

Water to water, salt to salt,
that’s the cycle that’s the beat

I had no holy water to cleanse my broken heart
I jump into you, the waves claim the tears

Wanting Him to jump back into me,
to make me HIS again

Water to water, salt to salt, the cycles complete

My heart went the wrong way, in every other direction, but HIS

As sweat and tears merge in your cleansing baptism

Take me back to our “Church” forgive me my TRUE LOVE

With simple and humble words, I offer you this tribute

With silent suffering,
I learned to write down every word
You gave me peace, you gave me refuge

I want peace again, wanting to go back to our “Church” our sweet refuge

A synchronicity emerging
The clock is ticking, the heart is pounding, a synchronistic event is being born

A birthday celebration, a class reunion,
family gatherings

Yes, Yes its time for this to happen, now, again, nothing to fear

Voids of time, in between which a chance to reunite old souls

I remember you – dear friend, I remember the smile, the face, the touch

Back home where years ago together they took their first strolls

So many years, how I’ve wanted to touch you again and to see your beautiful face

One, twenty nine, two thousand ten
Room three 0 nine at nine pm

All the nine’s, they added up perfectly…
thank you Universe!

Nevertheless, the numbers don’t add up, the hearts and souls are out sync
The bodies grasp and struggle for the moment

Kissing again, loving again, too much too soon – WAIT (Please, Don’t Go)

Searching in the candlelight,
it vanished in a blink

Lost in the frenzy of a ticking clock
Noise echoing inside my head

If not here and now what other when and where instead?

By the light of that beautiful moon outside the room, – WAIT (Listen)

The energy’s in chaos we can’t refute
Is there still the chance for our last refuge?

BY THE LIGHT OF THE BELLA LUNA, THAT NIGHT, IN A NEW LIFETIME, WE WERE JOINED AGAIN AT OUR “CHURCH”, WERE WE FOUND OUR REFUGE

We were given the blessing now, for us to recognize, that WE DID find our Refuge, our Sanctuary, with Each Other, whenever and whenever it was possible.

(Screen) Name: Leyna

I was fifteen when I met Akira.  He was sixteen at the time.  I remember the day perfectly.  I was sitting in fourth period History when my guidance counselor came knocking at the door.  After my teacher let her in, she took a deep breath and said “Here is your new student, Akira Zhang.  I expect you will treat him with the utmost respect,” and left.  At least that’s what I think happened.  I was too busy staring at Akira like every other girl in class.  He was in a word, beautiful.  He was six foot three and his body was absolutely perfect- muscled but not too much.  You could see his six pack through his shirt!  His face was perfect too.  His hair was long and black and straight and silky.  His eyes were a fantastic color that changed every minute from melty gold to light sexy green to darker emerald with mahogany hues.  They were framed with long dark lashes.  His eyes look slightly Asian in their shape.  His skin was perfect and smooth and had an amazing Mediterranean tan.  However, he looked detached, emotionless like a beautiful statue and it bothered me.  He said nothing.  My teacher gave him an empty seat in the back of the class.  It was sorta close to my seat.  He ended up next to Violet Sanders.  She was the most beautiful girl in school.  She was mean and pretty and rich and got whatever she wanted.  Very cliche but still very true.  Her hair was long and blonde like Blake Lively and had the perfect beachy waves.  Her skin was tan and her eyes were ocean blue. He didn’t react to her beauty when he saw her.  That threw her off.  She looked flustered by his apathy.  He sat down, still having said nothing.  My teacher, Mr.Hudson passed out our assignment.  We had to read a “diary entry” of a Muslim girl and try to make a list of assumptions about Islam based on the passage.  A few moments later, for the first time, Akira spoke.  He raised his hand and said “I don’t understand.”  Mr.Hudson countered with “What is not to understand?”  Akira replied that he couldn’t understand why they were doing the assignment.  Mr.Hudson said that it was to learn about Islam.  Akira countered that we wouldn’t learn anything by making even more assumptions about Islam than we already do in America.  That caused Mr.Hudson to collect all the passages up and he left the class, red in the face, claiming to go to the bathroom.  We all knew that he was just leaving to have a shot of tequila in the Attendance Office with Mr.Berkeley.  Akira just sat there and pulled out a book that, to my surprise was in Japanese. I’m fluent and literate in Brazilian Portugese, Italian, Filipino, and Farsi (my native languages) but I also knew Japanese, Okinowan, Chinese, Cantonese, English, Spanish, Classical Arabic, German, and French (I study languages in my spare time) so I knew what he was reading.  I took a slip of paper and wrote “Where did you move from?” in Japanese.  I got it passed to him.  Upon receiving it, he looked at it and put it in his pocket without looking at me.  A week passed.  It turned out that Violet wanted him and was trying her hardest and failing.  During lunch, I saw him.  He walked up to my table and handed me a small slip of paper, gave me a blank stare, and left.  It was the same one I gave him last week.  It said “I was born in Hawaii but I was raised in Japan and the Philippines” in Japanese.  After that, communication ceased.  We never talked. Ever.  But then, a few months later we were paired up for a research project in Science.  This meant we had to work outside of school.  We met up at my house, never straying from the project.  One day, I asked “Why are you so quiet?”  I had no place asking considering how shy I was.  He said       “There is no one I wish to talk to.  I’ve had it with that blonde girl always bugging me.”  ”But still, you’re so quiet.  Don’t you get bored?”  ”Well, it’s okay talking to you, I guess.”  ”Awww.  You like me?  That’s so sweet!” I gushed sarcastically.  ”I guess,” he said.  From then on, we hung out a lot.  I started to fall in love with him.  Before I knew it, I was head over heels.  Despite his cool exterior, he was really a emotional person.  His father was a rich man.  He owned a large seafood market in Japan and the Philippines.  His father was a Japanese man and his mother was a half Greek, half Spanish woman.  The marriage was arranged for money reasons.  When Akira was twelve, his little sisters and himself became stranded in India.  They wandered for three years before being found and lived in the Slums, having to protect his sisters from pimps. The day they returned home, Akira’s father beat him with a tree branch, screaming at him for being stupid enough to get lost for three years.  His angry father sent Akira and his sisters to live in America where Akira would be their primary, emancipated caregiver to teach him “responsibility.”  He had suffered so much and I was his only friend.  I didn’t think he liked me though.  I was ugly.  And boring.  One day, at my house we were hanging out when I boldly asked, “Chibi,” (I had nicknamed him that- It was the Japanese word for “cute”- he hated it) “Have you ever been in love?”  He looked unaffected.  ”Yes,” he replied quietly.  ”Are you currently in love with her?” I inquired.  Again, he replied “yes.”  My heart sank.  He loved another.  Why would he love me?  I was certainly nothing special.  ”Is she pretty?”  ”No, she is beautiful.”  Of course.  I knew she would be.  ”What is she like?” I inquired further, my heart breaking more with each breath.  ”Well, she is very intelligent- she knows a lot of languages.  Her favorite flowers are orchids, hibiscus, and calla lilies.  She loves Nutella on whole wheat bread and is obsessed with eating it every morning.  She likes to draw.  She hates to clean and isn’t a fan of Popsicles.”  Wow, she was a lot like me.  Before I could put the pieces together, he cradled my face in his strong yet soft hands.  He looked into my eyes with more emotion than I’d ever seen him express.  He whispered, inches from my face, “I love you.”  I was shocked and in a blind moment, I reached up and kissed him.  My first kiss.  His lips were warm and soft.  It didn’t last long.  I pulled away, my blindness gone.  My cheeks felt flushed.  I whispered “I love you too.”  He pulled me back to him and we kissed for a long while.  Before I knew it, his shirt was one the ground and mine was working its way there.  I yearned for his body and warmth and love.  I was a virgin now.  Maybe soon I wouldn’t be.  I suddenly stopped.  I pushed him away.  My family would be home soon.  I was already in an arranged marriage.  I couldn’t do this.  He looked confused.  I made him leave.  He asked what was wrong but I kept refusing to tell him.  He eventually left.  I stalked up to my room and cried.  I loved him but I was in an arranged marriage.  I was sixteen and I couldn’t make my own decisions.  A few months later, my cousin Aliana was in the hospital after attempting suicide.  She was in a coma.  She might not wake up.  It was too much.  We had played together as kids and we talked and hung out a lot. She was my best friend-the only person I’d told about Akira.  I hadn’t expected this.  I went home from the hospital while everyone else stayed.  I took a cleansing shower and exfoliated and used my face mask.  After I got out, I waxed my legs and treated my hair so it was silky and shiny down my back.  I liked to make myself over when stressed despite how little makeup I wore, if any.  I thought of Akira.  I missed him.  I wanted to talk to him.  I still loved him.  Suddenly I got an idea.  I fished through my drawers for my favorite nightgown.  It was made of white silk and was short to my mid thighs.  I combed my hair and curled my eyelashes.  I needed him so much.  I slipped on some slide-on shoes and started to walk to his house.  It was really close to mine but you could never tell with all the Carolina Countryside in the way.  When I got there, he was out front in his pajamas, thinking.  I suddenly lost my bravery and started to walk away but then he saw me.  He got up and walked toward me.  I remained frozen.  ”Why are you here?” he asked coolly.  ”Akira, I love you.  I’m so sorry about what happened.  I was so scared and I just couldn’t handle it.  I’m really in love with you.”  My voice cracked on the last word and my eyes were welled with tears by the time I was done talking.  His face had softened.  ”It’s okay.  Don’t cry,” he said softly.  We looked up at each other, holding eye contact.  Suddenly, we kissed passionately.  I felt his yearning and love and he felt mine.  He carried me to his room.  He sat me gently on the bed and we kept kissing with more passion as time passed.  His hands moved to my shoulders and pulled down the straps.  The gown was at my hips and he gently pulled it off and dropped it on the ground.  Next he started to take off my panties.  I had worn a lacy pair for tonight.  Once again, they too were on the floor.  Next, we kissed again and I was on my back underneath him.  I pulled off his shirt and ran my hands over his strong back.  He then stood up and took off his sleeping pants and silk boxers.  He looked so beautiful like that, naked.  I was speechless.  He moved back onto the bed and we wrapped our arms around each other.  His bare skin felt so good against mine.  I liked running my hands over him and feeling the muscles as well as his smooth, warm, perfect skin. I could feel his heartbeat.  I loved how gentle he was.  I laid down so I was again on my back underneath him as opposed to sitting up.  He got on top of me.  I moved my hands onto his back.  We kissed, and kissed, and kissed, and touched, and touched again.  All of a sudden, I felt nervous.  I had never made love before.  It could be painful.  When that came around, I was so excited but so nervous.  He rubbed my back and was about to do it when I said softly, “I’m a virgin.”  He paused.  ”Do you want to wait?” he asked gently.  ”No,” I whispered.  He could see I was nervous. “Are you sure?”  ”Uh-huh.”  ”It might hurt.”  ”Okay,” I said.  He pushed inside me gently.  The first thrust didn’t hurt like I expected.  He looked at my face for “okay” to do it again.  I nodded.  He thrusted in again.  He felt so warm inside me.  Oh, it felt so good.  He thrusted faster and I panted more and it felt better each time.  I felt something amazing coming but I had no idea as to what it was.  I dug my nails into his hips and he pushed harder.  I moaned.  He whispered my name.  But then, it happened.  I felt like, the stars had aligned and made Akira and I a whole entity.  I knew he had one too because I had never seen that look on his face before.  We kept going and aligned to stars again.  After that, I felt so tired.  I fell asleep in his bed.  I woke up on his bare chest.  He awoke when I did and said “Maybe you should get some more sleep.  I love you,” and kissed me lightly.  ”Okay.  I love you too,” I whispered.  I fell asleep in time to see Akira getting out of bed.  I awoke a couple hours later but I was alone.  It was ten o’ clock in the morning.  Akira was gone, nowhere to be found.  I waited for him for a couple hours but still no show.  His sisters were gone for the week, visiting his parents but he wasn’t allowed to come.  I started to freak out.  He left me after making love to me.  I started to cry.  I was all alone now.  I had no one else, not even my family.  After all, they did arrange this betrothment to some guy.  My only supporter was in the hospital.  I cried more.  I left.  I stayed in my room and cried all day.  I felt so hurt.  He called me and I wouldn’t answer.  The next week, he approached me in school.  I refused to talk to him.  A couple weeks passed and he finally got the message.   One day, I was sitting in my room doing homework.  I looked at my calendar and I saw my period week marked.  It was last week.  I still had not gotten it.  Then it hit me, Akira and I didn’t use protection.  That meant I could be pregnant.  I got an at-home test to take- it was positive.  This was bad, real bad.  He didn’t even love me.  I couldn’t abort though.  I wanted to keep my baby.  I was still avoiding Akira.  I still loved him though.  I felt so confused him.  Even if he didn’t love me, he would love the baby, right?  What if he ran or said the baby wasn’t his?  Eventually a few months later, I decided to tell him.  At school, the next day, I approached him.  He said coolly, “What do you want?”  ”I need to speak with you.”  ”About what?”  ”I can’t say it here.  Meet me at the tree on the end of our street.  Tonight.”  ”Sure,” he said, irritated.  When it came time, I chickened out.  I was too scared.  I stayed in my room the rest of the day and slept.  I awoke in the middle of the night with a wierd feeling.  I felt like someone was watching me.  I saw a figure in the darkness.  I was too scared to scream.  ”Shhh,” he said.  Oh my god!  He’s a rapist.  God help me!  ”It’s me, Akira,” he said and stepped forward.  It was him.  Before I could ask why he was in my room at two in the morning, he said “Why did you want to talk to me today?”  I didn’t know what to say.  ”I um, I uh,” I stammered.  This was too much.  I felt my hormones kick in.  I started to sob.  He looked at me, confused.  He sat on the bed and rubbed my back and said soothingly, “It can’t be that bad,”and wrapped his arms around me.  ”Shhh,” he whispered and wiped a tear from my cheek.  ”Akira, I-I’m, um,” I stuttered.  ” You’re what?” he asked.  ”I’m, uhhh, pregnant. I’m so sorry.”  ”It’s okay,” he said.  He said “We’ll get through this together.  We love each other and we will be good parents to this baby.  I love you and my unborn child more than life itself.”  I was touched by his words.  ”I love you too.”  Telling my parents didn’t go very well.  I ended up living in Akira’s house with his two little sisters.  They were adorable and beautiful like tiny dolls.  Reiko and Saki.  Saki was outgoing while Reiko was shy.  They were twins.  Reiko and Saki both had large, round Asian eyes like apricots.   Reiko had watery blue-grey eyes and silky straight jet black hair and creamy, milky skin.  Saki had slighter darker, golden skin, toffee coloured ringlets and lovely, golden eyes.  They were seven.  They knew I was with their brother and they treated me so kindly.  When the day came, I was in the hospital room.  Akira’s family had taken a liking to me and allowed him back into the family and all of them were at the hospital.  The contractions hurt.  Bad.  I was giving birth to my baby but then everything went black.  I woke up, tired and sore.  Akira was at my bedside.  ”What happened?” I asked.  ”You don’t remember?” he said, looking puzzled.  ”No.”  He called the doctor in.  ”Oh it’s fine,” he said, “Many women experience bouts of amnesia in pregnancy and childbirth.”  He looked relieved.  ”What happened?” I asked again.  ”Would you like to see?” said Akira.  ”Okay.”  He left for a moment and to my surprise came back with my mom.  She was angry with me because of my pregnancy.  They were each carrying something.  Akira came over and asked if I wanted to see my babies.  I was confused.  He explained I had given birth to twins.  I nodded.  He handed me the bundle in his arms.  ”Say hello to your mommy,” Akira cooed, so unlike him.  It was a boy. His hair was straight like silk and jet black like Akira’s, they had the same eye shape and eyelashes but his were more gold in color like a tiger.  My son’s skin was more olive with gold undertones like me. He had my ears and fingers and fine yet thick hair.  He was beautiful.  His lips and miniature nose were perfect.  I loved him. The pain was completely worth it.  I nourished him and cradled him in my womb.  My mother walked over carrying my other child.  ”Here,” she said smiling as she gave me the baby.  I immediately loved her just like her brother.  Her hair was silky, a soft charcoal black with red and brown in it like mine, thick, curly into ringlets and waves, with fine hair strands and lots of them just like me.  Her skin was the same as her brother’s and mine.  Her eyes were shaped like mine and large as apricots with long, black lashes fluttering out just like mine.  Her eye color was even the same as me though it was much more beautiful on her- switching between a piercing, baby blue and midnight blue and violet.  Her tiny nose and tiny, rosebud lips were perfect.  Her cheeks were flaming with color.  I was a pround, seventeen year old mother.  I chose their names, Sean and Camilla.  I nursed them for the first time.  I felt so close to my babies, feeding them my own snow-coloured milk.  We all lived with Akira close to his family and lived happily ever after.

(Screen) Name: Harlequin Snow

hello everyone. we r in love with each other from last 7 years, when we are in schools. but at the middle we r not in contact,we broke up our frdship bcoz of some misunderstandings, but our love is not got weak. after 5 years sudden we got in contact with chating. but when me met again we realize that we both are right at our sights but some persons don’t want to see us together and they created misunderstanding in our love.
but coz of our true love we got in contact , not only in contact but now we both are trying to make our parents agree for our marriage. we love our parents but we cant live without each other.

(Screen) Name: Pumpkin’s betu

Well it’s been two months surprisingly my longest relationship. I never seriously tought it would happen. From just a look then digets then all those problems to the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. We stood with each other through good and bad we’re gonna stand with each other through everything. hah woah to just think this is actually a different school relationship it’s amazing it just amazes me how easily he can amaze me and how this love is actually the best among so many friends that ive met and are in this situation. well all i got to say is i never wanna let this go.

(Screen) Name: lilimeow

I am a woman of principles.When I was young,I told myself that whoever will be my first boyfriend will be my husband. During my college days,I never entertained suiters, a lot of boys failed, eventhough I do have crushes on them, because I wanna stick to my principles. Right after college we had experienced financial difficulty, by that time I met a man whom I thought could be the answer. We get along very well. He is really a fine man.I can’t say any bad things. He loves me so much. To prove that he left his country and ignore the warn of his family just to be with me. He became my first boyfriend. He asked to marry me and I said yes, even my parents object because he is a Muslim and we are Catholics. We get married in Muslim civil way. I love him and we had one baby boy. But since he is a foreigner to my country he can’t get job yet unless given a permanent visa. I was the one working for a living. It became hard so I decided to go abroad. He stayed in my country to wait for his visa. During my work abroad, i met this guy(single) who instantly got attracted to me. He started flirting, but since I’m married, I did not show interest. He wanted to meet me but was not pursued. We lost communication for four months. Then one day he called me. We started to become friends (before I was hesitant, but had given him a chance this time). We meet and became close. I started to see his personality and views in life. He courted me again. He said he likes me so much and he was like addicted to me. He admitted that of all the ladies he met I am among the three he felt so inlove (first was to his first girlfriend, second to his wife). It was then I knew that during those few months we lost contacts He went back to our country to get married to his 8 years girlfriend. I got hurt,I don’t know why, but I felt jealous. It was then that I realized that I was inlove with him. He was kind of my soulmate, we shared a lot of things in common. I have seen a lot of attributes in him that I really liked. I told him that we can only be friends because we are already married. But deep inside,I love him more than my husband. He kept on telling me, that if I only had given him a chance when we first knew each other he would have not decided to get married and If I was also single and not married, He would have chosen me to be his wife. Now things had crushed on me, coz if I hadn’t decided to get married earlier, I would have been with this guy, whom I felt is my soulmate. I was once told by a fortune teller that my husband isn’t my soulmate. It is someone from the northern part of my country and is of the same nationality. Right now, we remained to be friends. And it is only time who can tell if in the future we can be together as lover (husband and wife). I really wish. It is my ultimate dream.

As of the moment, my husband is planning to go back to his country because it had taken a very long time for his permanent visa. He is only waiting for me to come back so we can formally arrange everything.

And with regards to my man (soulmate), he last told me that they had difficulties now with his wife. He had given me a hint that they might be parting ways too.

I am only praying that if God would give me a chance to be with my soulmate, in due time, He will do it his way. I will not make any extreme things that would lead to hurting his family and my family. For now all I can do is love him from distant.

(Screen) Name: Beauty