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Day 8: 100 reasons

There’s more than 100 reasons why i love my baby…but here are 100 reasons why i love him. I love u pookie….missin u

****believes in god a lot****

1.) He loves me

2.) He cares for me

3.) He’s my superman

4.) He’s my life

5.) He’s always there

6.) He always makes me smile

7.) He’s perfect

8.) Never screws up

9.) yells at me 😛

10.) looks amazing

11.) argues with me[its really cute.his face is so SERIOUS LOL]

12.) feeds me with his hands

13.) so open with me

14.) trusts me

15.) he’s the only person who i trust 100%

16.) never lies to me

17.) does everything i want him to do for me

18.) fights for me

19.) hugs me

20.) kisses me

21.) tells me that he loves me

22.) protects me

23.) he’s my husband

24.) he’s my boyfriend

25.) he’s my best friend

26.) he’s my valentine

27.) my soulmate

28.) my lil baby

29.) acts like a kid

30.) sometimes says the stupidest things

31.) he’s forgiving

32.) he’s mature

33.) he’s also immature

34.) he can be and act like a smart adult

35.) makes good choices

36.) acts totally stupid

37.) i love his smile

38.) his ears

39.) his eyes

40.) he’s my heart

41.) he’s the reason why im here today

42.) he’s the reason why i am how i am today

43.) made me a better person

44.) held my hand and led me into a beautiful world

45.) closed my eyes and took all the pain away from me

46.) tells me that it’ll be okay even in the worst situations

47.) cries so easily

48.) cries when i cry

49.) laughs when i laugh

50.) if i were to jump off a bridge he would come too…even though he doesn’t know how to swim…stupid

51.) he would do anything i ask him to do

52.) the reason why i believe in true love is him

53.) taught me how to walk on the right path

54.) treats me like a child

55.) voice is amazingly soft and silky

56.) so romantic

57.) ignores everybody when im with him

58.) doesn’t answer his friend’s phone calls when im talking to him

59.) treats me like a queen

60.) gives me more than i need

61.) buys me random gifts…when i ask him not to lol 😛

62.) he’s my sunlight

63.) he’s my moonlight

64.) he’s the only hope i have

65.) never ever makes me cry

66.) he’s my dream boy

67.) he’s so obbsessed about me and i love it caz im so obbsessed about him lol yay obbsession!

68.) he doesn’t mind if i look like crap

69.) wakes up early in the morning during his winter break to come and drop me to school and spends about 30 mins with me

70.) always tries to act like he’s happy even when he’s not

71.) he is so jealous about me talking to any boy…SO cute! lol

72.) holds my hand so softly and calmly

73.) he always knows what to do

74.) he wears his socks half way on and half off

75.) never matches

76.) never talks to any girl except for the girls who he knows very well

77.) screws up my hair all the time

78.) he broke my clay house that i worked to hard on lol

79.) made me a rose and a monkey drawing

80.) he gave me the place of god in his heart

81.) he can be a pain in the butt(but i love it) i know i love u too baby

82.) got me a perfume bottle instead of deoderant that i told him to get me hahaahah gud times

83.) he helps out so many people

84.) thinks of everybody first and then about himself

85.) he looks like hiritk roshan(indian actor) lol

86.) he can be so clumsy


88.) doesn’t have a clean closet

89.) throws everything all over the place in his room

90.) wears a black patka ever since i told him that i don’t like it when he wears colorful patkes. (patka=turban like thing for boys)

91.) never looks at any girl

92.) gave me the key to our house

93.) buys me the cutest necklaces

94.) an amazing essay writer

95.) HORRIBLE speller LOL

96.) he’s the other half of me

97.) we’re one soul….he’s 50% and im 50%….we make one person

98.) he has good taste in clothing

99.) he’s the reason why im writing this

100.) he’s my everything….without him, i would have never told you guys about these 100 reasons why i love him because, i’d be dead without him.

I love you pookie ji missin u a lot and these 100 reasons are nothing compared to how much love i have for you. Typing up 100 things is easy to do, but to show you how much i love you is the hardest thing that i will do soon…because, no matter how much i tell and show u that i love you soooooooo much….i’ll have more and more to tell u and to show u…..my love for you is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. It’ll take me more than 10000000000 lifetimes to show you how much i love you. But for now, those 100 reasons should sum up half of my love. I love you baby…missin u tty soon hopefully

(Screen) Name: monaxoxo831


The beating wasnt so bad…but his hand with her’s…was heartbreaking

Do you think that it’s okay for someone to be punished just because they love someone? Well my parents think that it is okay to punish someone just because they love somebody. Yesterday morning was another normal morning. Everything was going great until my dad saw me getting out of my husband’s car to go to my school. This is when things everything fell apart. As i was gettin out of the car, my dad drives by. I could see his eyes turn red with anger as he speeds his car away. I ran to school, and i asked my teacher if i could make a phone call to my mom and she said yes. I went to the main office and dialed his number instead of my moms’. When i called him, we made a plan that he is going to get a friend from college to sit with him in the car and pretened that he already has a girlfriend. Doing this, will make it look like i just got a ride from him…and that he’s not my boyfriend. Jasmine agreeed to help us so we decide on the following plan. When i go home and my parents ask me why i was with “that” boy, i will just tell them that i am friends with this girl that goes to my high school(who wud be jasmine) and “that” boy is her boyfriend. I wud also tell them that i missed my bus so jasmine and her boyfriend gave me a ride to school. That is what our plan was….although it turned out totally different when i got home. When i reached home, my parents weren’t home..thank goddness to that. Right then i called raj (gurwinder’s nickname..i only call him that) and we started talking until ravneet, my sister told me what my dad had told her about me. Ravneet had an early dissmissal from her school because of conferences. Ravneet told me that our dad said, that he’s going to beat the crap out of me and i will probably be sent to india forever. She also explained how my dad had seen me with raj in the past few days. I was in shock…and i was scared to know that the plan that we made wasn’t going to work. Too many questions raced through my mind at that time….i didn’t kno what to do…but to cry. I kept my feelings inside and i didn’t cry because raj and i had came up with a different plan. When my mom and dad reached home, my mom took me to her bedroom. She locked the door and slaped me so hard on my face. She said that i disrespected our religion and her trust. She kept on slapping me till my dad came into the room. He was furious with anger built up inside of him. He came up to me and slaped me. I faced him, asking him to just listen to me for one second so that i can explain to him what was really going on. But he didn’t listen to me…instead he pushed me onto the hard wooden floor and kicked me with his bulky shoes. I felt pain for the first few minutes, but he continued for about 10 minutes. He cursed at me….told me i was going to be sent to india forever. After a few minutes i just sat there on the floor, waiting to be hit again. I tried to defend myself by putting my two hands around my head….it didn’t work. After all i’am only 14. After my dad was done beating me, i got up and i told him that the only reason that i was in his car was because of jasmine, his girlfriend and my friend. I also told him that i missed my bus so i was walking and they asked me if i needed a ride and i said yes to them. I also told him that sometimes i didn’t get on the bus, instead i took rides from raj and his girlfriend. He said okay..lemme talk to his girlfriend. And so i called her on the number that raj gave to me. When i called, i was crying and i told her to talk to my dad. My dad started to talk to her…he asked her if whatever i told him was true. And obviously she was going to say, yes we do give her rides once in while and that raj is really my boyfriend, not manpreet’s. After my dad was done talking to jasmine, raj took the phone and started to talk to my dad. As soon as my dad heard his voice, he started to curse at him like crazy, half in our language and the other half in english. haha it was kinda funny now that it’s all over lol…im a retarted person…u’ll kno wat i mean as i write more entries. Anywaysz continuing on with my story…so after my dad was done talking to raj and jasmine, my mom took my dad downstairs. They both went downstairs and discussed how to solve this problem. After a few minutes my mom came upstairs and i told her that mom please believe me. She said that she only believes in half of my story and that she will believe me fullly once raj and his (fake) girlfriend comes to our house to show my parents that they really are girlfriend and boyfriend. So my mom called raj and told him that if you arent going to come to our house with ur girlfriend then we will think that manpreet truly is your girlfriend. So raj brought jasmine to our house after 1 and half hour. Right before raj and jasmine reached my house, my dad left to get my baby brother’s diapers. (lol so random…i kno). My mom and i went outside to talk to raj and jasmine. I really didn’t say anything, but raj did most of the talking. He explained how this girl (jasmine) is his girlfriend and not me. He also told her that they did give me rides to school but they wont any more. My mom said that it’s fine and she let it go. Thank god my dad wasn’t there…he’d probabaly slap him …and that would hurt me more than anything. Before jasmine and raj were about to leave i noticed that raj and jasmine were holding hands. They only did this to show my mom that they both were really girlfriend and boyfriend. Being kicked all over for 10 mins and crying for god knows how long, the thing that was most painfull was not any of the things that happened to me but instead was to see his hand with her hand…..even though it was just ment to be a way to convince mom..it still hurted me from deep within. My blood started to rush to my face, burning me from the inside. I wanted to go up to raj an force him to let go of her hand but i knew that he couldnt think of another girl as anything more than a sister. It still burned me from the inside to see him holding another girl’s hand, but i had to face the truth that he had to do it…..for the sake of our love.

(Screen) Name: monaxoxo831


Day 1: I’m already lost

i dont know what to do…i dont know where to go…i just dont know what to say…all i do now is cry….every time i try to cry and let out my feelings someone comes into my room. How sad is this…i cant even cry about my love….you have any idea how much this hurts? after he left…i jus stayed on the computer….and i tried to distract myself from crying by downloading bunch of songs. Every time i would try to laugh…i would end up with tears. I don’t have anyone besides me….i feel like a piece of trash just left behind. I called raj wen he was on the way to the airport…..and i was just talking to him until my mom came upstairs and told me tht she heard me talking to a boy…i didnt know what to do…..my heartbeat just stopped instantly…..i had to tell her the truth so i told her that it was raj….that boy tht gave me rides to school with his girlfriend jasmine. I told my mom a lie that jasmine(his gf) called me to ask if i can check for her if raj’s flight is delayed or not. She asked me why cudn’t she check for herself? I told her that her internet isn’t working and thats why she called me…..she looked me in the eyes and said i lost every single bit of trust that i had for u. I had tears in my eyes….first i had to deal with the fact that raj is going to be in india for 3 weeks….and now this??? My mom and dad talked to me for a while telling me that they have no trust for me. They asked me so many questions about raj and his gf (who is fake obivouslyy). But…they ignored it and told me that this was my last and final warning from them. I guess when raj comes back…we won’t talk on the phone at all…for a while….I don’t know why god did this….i guess it was because i hurt raj today(there’s always a reason behind everything). I wasn’t myself for the past few weeks…and today i got into a little fight with him. I didn’t give him enough time to talk to me….i just felt horrible…i wanted to go hide somewhere and cry….and i didnt know if talking to raj was such a gud idea caz i was crying and still am crying becaz of him. I need him so bad….you know…But…they ignored and told me that this was my last and final warning from them. I guess when raj comes back…we won’t talk on the phone at all…for a while….when you guys read this or any blog….u might say “thats really sad” or “that sucks i feel so bad”….but its much more than that. When i write this….i cry my eyes out…..i dont have my love….i dont have what i need to survive…..what do i do? you tell me? im so lost….my head hurts..my ears want to hear his sweet calming voice….my eyes long for his face…..my heart burns…. it hurts its like getting shot over and over again but ur still alive…yet you’re dying from the inside….maybe whatever i write doesn’t make any difference for you guys……maybe im useless….maybe i need to die….i love you raj….and i promised u i wont do anything dum….but if my body kills me from the inside, then its not my fault..im sorry if i ever hurt u pookie…..i really love you baby…come back please….just come back and hold me in ur arms….wipe away my tears..and just tell me that its gona be okay…just come back…..i need u…i miss u yaar…come bak please …please…

(Screen) Name: monaxoxo831


Day 3: I love You Raj

If you take a fish out of water, it won’t survive

If you take away air from a human, he/she won’t survive

If you don’t put gas in cars, they won’t work

If you take away sunlight from the world, then we’d all die

If you take away pages from a book, it won’t be a book

Just like those things, if you take away raj from mona, she won’t be mona….she’d die.

Life isn’t all that simple when you don’t have what you need… to survive.

When your loved one isn’t with you, you’re still alive but your dead at the same time.

Life and Death don’t go together so well huh?

Well everyday i live through that….my soul fights over life and death at the same time.

It doesn’t know where to go…i promised him i won’t do anything bad but why do i still try to think of ways to free myself from this life…from this pain.

Saying things and understanding them has a huge difference.

When you say, i love you- you think of care, and happy times together….

Yet you don’t know that it means much more than that. I love you means to spend your life with that one special person, to go throught the bad times and the good times together, to help each other out no matter what the situation is. But so many people don’t understand it, yet they say it all the time…..what kinda world to we live in???

My heart aches when i think about how far away he is from me.

I just talked to him about an hour ago….he was sleepy so i let him go….hes jus so cute.

I made him smile and told him to go to sleep…he layed in bed and fell asleep after i hung up…his voice seemed like he was tired…his voice calmly healed my heart…and slowly it began to feel like there was never a wound in it….as soon as i hung up it began again….the pain..the wounds in my heart started to come back… You know how u feel when u have butterflies caz you know you’re making a big step or doing something so amazing and your so nervous that u feel like you wana throw up…imagine feeling like that 24/7. Every second i keep opening up my yahoo messenger and check to see if he’s online…when i don’t see him there i feel as if hes just invisible and he’s joking with me so i hope to receive a msg from him…but i get nothing… it hurts when everyday you wake to expect something so precious to happen to you but then you end up crying all alone. Everyday i sit in my bed reading old emails on our account…..i laugh and then i cry. I read his emails that he sent me when i was in india for 6 months…and i ask myself how hard would that have been for him? In india, you have so many people to talk to…your whole family is there…you go to places and your mind if sort of distracted from what you really need….but here….u sit here and write stupid emails when you know that he’s not going to reply back anytime soon. Stupid love….if you have anybody who u love more than anything…go and spend your time with them…you don’t know how precious something is untill u loose it or untill your really far away from it. That person, doesn’t have to be your boyfriend….it cud be anybody and anything. Love is god…and God is love….nothing in this world is stronger than the power of love. Many people don’t even believe in god or love…and that’s totally against what i think but it’s who you are. One day, when those people find something so close to themselves…they’ll pray to god for that thing/person and that’s when they’ll realize that love is god…and god is love…..

I have many more things to learn in life….i have many things to understand….but for now all i kno is that i love you raj and i hope when u read this….you’ll understand what i was trying to say….i miss u pookie ji come home soon…my arms will always be open for u and my heart….is always with u ….gud night my superman muwhaaaaz i love you tons and i miss u like crazy….i’ll always be waiting for u….and it doesn’t matter how far we are…im always gona love u in fact i will have even more love for u…my love for u increases 1000000000000000000000X every and each second that i live….and every second that i breathe…i love u…and always will

(Screen) Name: monaxoxo831


Day 7: Happy New Year

You know how weird it is to take advice from a 12 year old…..but it’s shocking that an older person/friend of mine wouldn’t understand my feelings as much as that 12 year old did. Yesterday was new years eve so i decided to go with my sister to her friend’s new years party(it was at her house) My sister’s friend’s name is Tyler. She’s a nice girl…very young but mature. She lives about 5 minutes away from our house, we used to spend the whole summer over their house and their pool. My sister, Ravneet and I have many good memories with Tyler and her family. That night we just talked in her basement about my love story. There was another girl, whose name is Lyn, and she’s chinese. Lyn is also a friend of Tyler. So it was me, my sister, Tyler, and Lyn. All of them were about 3-4 years younger than me. Within 5 minutes of knowing lyn, i told her everything about my life. I didn’t even know that girl, yet i spilled out my whole love story to her. I told her what happend when my parents beated me….when i got caught talking to raj…everything….how we met…u name it….It’s so weird how i didn’t even know the girl and i just told her everything. The most shocking and interesting thing was that she understood me and she even tried to give me advice…It was simply amazing….IF i were to tell my friend(s) they would just laugh and make fun of me. They wouldn’t undestand me at all….they wouldn’t believe me and yet this 12 year old girl…..understood me and she was so serious when i was talking to her. You know, age doesn’t have anything to do with how mature a person is. I was 12 when raj told me that he wanted to marry me….and i took it seriously too..why? because, i understood…i wasn’t exactly ready for that step but i understood. If anybody told you that he/she is gona marry you and you’re only 12 at that time…how would you react? You’d probably laugh at that person and go like are u out of your mind? but some people understand it….and i was one of them. I’m not saying im the most wise and mature 14 year old you’ll ever meet on earth…but im saying that to understand what marriage is…was a wise and mature thing to do. And not every time you should be that person to say yes to somebody if they ask you “will u marry me”, especailly when you’re only 12 years old. But if you know that…that person will keep you happy and will stay with you, and will be responsible for you and if you know that person will take care of you…then why not? Raj and I talked about it a lot…we made sure that we knew what we were getting into. First we had to state the facts. 1st was that i was from a different caste than him…2nd he’s older than me, but slowly..those things started to fade away and all we could think about was that…we love each other for gods sake. Who cares where your from…or what caste you’re from??? All these things….weren’t decided by god…these rules and these castes were all made up because of a single stupid human being. Why should we follow someone else’s rules?? Isn’t life about finding your way….to learn how to walk on your own? Age and caste are the last things that i would ever think about, especailly since i found my true love. IF i knew that we werent gona last for even a few minutes….i would never had said yes. Anywho today we’re here as true lovers and we support any true love couple out there. No matter how hard it gets, God will always open up another door for you. Happy New Year baby…missin u tons hope to talk to you soon..i love you. And Happy New Year to everybody out there who reads my stupid boring blogs lol..My husband and I wish you all a great year, make mistakes but not the ones that you’ll regret but the ones that you will learn from & become a better person. Happy New Year, i love you raj….wish you were here…love u.

(Screen) Name: monaxoxo831


The road that we chose :)

In our religion, it’s an omen to sneeze before you start a new task. It doesn’t matter if the task is small or big. When i started to type my first entry, my husband sneezed. lol =] It’s also forbidden to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Our parents choose the person who we will spend the rest of our lives with…these are the rules that i have to live with. I truly love my religion and so does gurwinder(my husband). It teaches us many important values that we use in our daily lives. Our religion teaches us many things including that we should respect elders, believe in one god, and never hurt anyone. Today i am 14 years old and my husband is 19. Shocking? yea…if i was in your place i would be shocked too. In fact we live in the USA, and i wasn’t forced to be married at such a young age; this is what i chose…this is what i wanted. On August 11th,2009 gurwinder put sindoor(vermilion) on my forehead. This is supposed to be done on the day of our marriage, in my religion. It’s a very important ritual. When he did that, i was considered and still am considered his wife and forever will be. We made this choice after 2 years of getting to know each other. Gurwinder asked me for my e-mail address on July 4th, 2007…2 years ago and that’s how everything began (click on The Begginning… to get the details of our begining). No one in my life knows that we really are husband and wife except for my younger sister, Ravneet(shes 11 today), who will play a very important role in our life. Every morning gurwinder picks me up and drops me at school. This way we get to meet for about 40 minutes everyday in the morning. My parents think that i take the bus everyday, but i don’t. I only take the bus sometimes; most of the days i go with gurwinder. We have to meet secretly everyday of our lives. I used to love summer until i started to date gurwinder. I hate summer now because, i never get to meet gurwinder in summer. It’s way too hard to get out of the house and meet him without letting anybody notice…it gets way too risky. Once Gurwinder gets a degree in Comptuer Science and Accounting, he will come to my house and ask for my hand from my parents. Most likely, we are going to have to run away…but let’s hope for the best. If i ever get caught with gurwinder or if my parents find out that i have a boyfriend (for us we are husband and wife..but u get the picture) i will be sent to india forever. And i know for sure that i will end up doing something stupid if i can’t hear his voice or meet him….who am i kidding, i would die….

(Screen) Name: monaxoxo831


Love on 4th of July???

You wouldn’t think that a 12 year old and a 17 year old would fall in love huh? It was a hot summer day….no it was 4th of July. I was getting ready to go to my temple (gurdwara), i quickly combed my hair and put on my white suit and we headed towards the gurdwara. I sat in the Langar Hall (place in the temple where food is served) with my friend. I saw him coming towards me and then he asked me for my e-mail adress and I gave it to him…I had known this guy from a long time ago…i used to live in the same neighborhood as him. I was very young when we used to play outside together along with many other kids. I was 8 years old when i first had a crush on him but then i had to move to another part of the suburbs in 4th grade. My heart was broken when my family and I moved away from him. But i met him again on 4th of July. As soon as i got home on that day, i checked my e-mail and we started to talk online.Then all of the sudden he asked me out….and i said yes instantly. That was my most amazing day ever. I was 12 and he was 17…he thought i was older because i looked older to him. When we started to talk on the phone, he asked me many questions and after 2 years of our relationship, we kissed.Pretty late huh? Well during those two years we went through a lot…we had our ups and downs but in the end…we were always together. Today i am 14 years old and my name is Manpreet. That boy’s name is Raj, he is 19 today. In our religion, when you put vermillon (sindoor) on a girl’s forehead, she’s considered your wife and from that day and on…you are considered to be married. On August 11th, 2009 he put vermillon on my forehead…and we were married. We knew so much about each other…In those two years we got to know each other so well that we trusted and still so trust each other more than anybody in the world. In our culture, everybody believes in castes even though our god said that there shouldn’t be any castes. I’m from a low caste and Raj is from a higher caste…there’s a 5 years of difference between us and yet we still are together today. It’s hard to believe isn’t it? It’s your choice to believe if this story is true or not…we have a site that we made please visit www.2heartz1soul.webs.com to know more about our love and why we are made for each other. Love…you can’t define it..you have to fall in love to know what it is 🙂

(Screen) Name: mona831raj