I Guess it All started in the 7th Grade.. I Dated a Girl Named ” Katie ” she was One of the prettier Girls in are Class. Anyway… She Was bestfriends with another girl in are class named ” Czarina ” Who Was Also Best Friends with my Sister Stephanie.

One night i was on my computer and Katie Asked me on msn if i would like to Go out with her kinda as a joke to Get Back at this other guy or something so i agree’d so we were basically pretending to be a couple.. i dont remmeber why it was a immature random gr.7′r thing anyway.. We ended up staying in this ” pretend state ” for months maybe 3-4 ? probably around the second she actually said … so i guess we really are boyfriend girlfriend so i guess we were Awsum..

Anyway are school Was Going on a Trip to Ottawa just the gr.7 class. Long story short in ottawa katie ended up cheating on me With a Random Kid Named ” nick ” My Friend Caught them making out behind one of the animals in the museum we were in… so i dumped her.. Note during the time we were going out ” Czar ” was always around us kinda like a third wheel sorta thing i never minded because she was a really cool person to hangout with , after i dumped katie.. grade 7 was over and it was time for high school.. i go threw grade 8 normal school year blah blah.

Half Way Threw Grade 9 I Started to begin feeling very very very depressed from the kids that would bully me in EVERY single class i had and the kids that would bully me use to be my BESTFRIENDS for over 6 years and HATED ME for no reason when high school dropped… im talking years or sleepovers , trips , bhalbhalba.

anyway i would walk home like half way threw the school day so id skip my last 2 class’s to cut down the stress i already with took in the morning. .. when i got home i would jump on my computer turn up some tunes and just chilll and talk on msn messenger .. one day in May i was sittin on msn and Guess who Decides to Say Hello… it was Czar haha i havent spoken to her in years she used to be over at my house and shit alot with my sister they were best best best friends so when me and czar hit high school ( shes the same age ) she and my sister kinda stopped hanging out because my sister was in gr.7 and ya.. czar found her own group of friends and fit in with whoever.

anyway She Says Hi and Asks me how ive been and what not.. i tell her good blah blah blah .. then during the last few weeks of may.. i found myself constantly Wanting to go home not just because of the bullying.. but because i Had this URGE to talk to her more and more and more ( Weve Been Friends Since i was prob 7 like a kid.. so we know alot about eachother) anyway.. its a friday night and She Comes on Asking if me and my sister and my sisters boyfriend Wanted to Drink so we were down… we ended up goin to my sisters boyfriends cause his parents were outta town.

Anyway Were taking shots Smokin a lil weed just chillin us 4 watching some tv chit chattin and We End up going into his lil shed/hangout place in his backyard were sitting in there with a lamp and Theres 2 beds inside not really beds but seats kinda like really big cushions anyway… my sister and her bf were on 1 and czar was laying on the other and i went and layed beside her…

I Could Feel the Tension Running threw my veins I Knew she wanted Me And she knew i wanted her.. I Never felt this way Before i never felt this gutsy stomach feeling like i have 5454 butterflys flying around inside… we were laying in a position where i was facing the wall and she was behind me ( kinda like she was spooning me ) but we werent physcially touching eachother just laying beside eachother..

i slowly Raised my left hand and brought it up onto her thigh.. i started going towards her belt.. i undid it with 1 hand and was being really careful and gentle and kept rubbing her upper legs and her ass over her jeans.. i could hear her panting in my ear.. i could feel the cushion shaking uncontrollably like she was nervous and scared like a person in a cave with no flash light. 15 minutes go by as we silently touch and rub eachother ( not sexually….yet ) just legs..arms…hands that kinda stuff…

i was holding her hand and oh god… it felt so god damn good like everything was perfect rite then and there…she slowly started rolling ontop of me ( she was trying to lay infront of me ) so she rolled over and i was spooning her now.. she took my hand and slowly .. so so slowly brought my hand down into her Blue panties.. i couldnt belevie what was happening.. i never went past kissing with my first girlfriend ( katie ) .. i was touching my first Vagina ( as funny and lame as that sounds lmao ) … i had no idea what i was doing but neither did she.. so i was foolin around down there for about half a hour and she was foolin around down in my pants to.. it was the craziest moment of my life.. my sister and her bf suddenly get up ( we were being quiet this whole time if my sister knew this was happening shed FREAK and hate me and her both ) ..

so my sister and him get up and we get up and he says ( you guys should go now parents get home in a couple hours ) so me czar my sister all bike back to my house ( czar was originally spending the night at my house with my sister before The drinking came up ) so were all back at my house and my sister goes off to bed with czar… im sittin downstairs on the couch its like 4am.. its pitch black and im just sitting there… thinking.. pondering… what has happened

i Couldnt whipe the smile from my face.. i felt like I was the king of the world i felt like omg.. words cant describee.. anyway im staring out my window just in silenceee and i hear the stairs creaking.. it was her.. she snuck outta my sisters room and came down … she moved with such elogance and grace.. as she slowly walked towards me.. sat beside me and we both stared into eachothers eyes and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed for a hour non stop.

the next morning she leaves and were talking on msn… she signs on With faces in her name … She was very very upset and angry and i had to know why.. so i asked

My dad is making my mom send me down to ontario… for a year… ( My heart smashed… rite when i read it .. this couldnt be true .. )

i leave… in 4 days..can we please spend as much time as we can togther before i leave..

so we meet up at around 2pm BEAUTIFULLL Day outside in the summer around junesh I just turned 15 on the night all this happened ( yes it was my birthday surprisingly )

anyway we meet up on this trail in the woods ( we live 5 min from eachother ) and we take a long walk to this Pond and we just layed in the sand for hours.. talking and trying to figure out what were gunna do….she asked if i would comeover tonight and see her.. so i agree’d OF COURSE lol.

anyway i crawl threw her bottom window ( shes in the basement at her house ) and im in her room with her =] shes in her pjs haha anyway were watching finding nemo and its really really quiet… just sittin beside eachother.. it was like Neither of us wanted to make the first move you know :p that awkwurd feeling.. you no what im talking about.

anyway i slowly move my right foot towards her feet.. and play footsies with her she looks over and smilesss ohh god did she smile =] she asked if we could go up on her bed and watch instead of sittin on the floor with the futon so i said ok why not…. we instantly go crazy mad on eachother like a New Toy your parents just bought you when you were 5 .. Anyway this happend everynight for the next 3 nights.. i never spent the night there id leave at like 4am run home.. and No We did not have Sex.. just little stuff.

anyway it Comes to the night shes leaving and a huge group of us are getting drunk for her leaving just like 7 of us… anyway theres this jada chick who was there and i was BLACKED OUT hammerd this was probably my 4th time ever drinking… 15 year old i was fucked up… and supposevly i was getting her to take off her bra to let me try it on ( not like watch her take it off , she took it off under her shirt and pulled it threw her arm sleeve , i didnt see anything nor wanted to see anything ) anyway after that happened all the cops came and we were all on a roof of a school drinking and chillin so the cops came and i ran and jumped off the roof and darted it for the woods, jada did the same and followed me.

I had no idea Where Czar Was this entire night.. i thought she was with her friends saying goodbye and waht not sharing a joint somewhere or something i dont no i was hammerd.

anyway im looking around for her and shes no where in site.. everyone has met in the woods everyone got away from cops and czar is no where in site… so i run to her house and shes already there in her pajams laying in her bed ( im knockin on her window )

she comes up to the window and opens it and says GO AWAY LEAVE ME ALONE and slams her window and shuts the curtains.. i was so fuckin hurt and confused WHY she just did that and said that..

the next morning she comes over to my house at like 9am to hug my sister goodbye and head to the airport… i was standing behind my sister when she hugged her .. i was awaiting to talk to czar and hug her .. kiss her.. she just walked away after hugging my sister didnt say bye to me didnt say anything didnt even look at me..

2 weeks pass… her dad doesnt let her use the computer much.. phone.. anything so im basically Dead inside for 2 weeks wondering why..why is this happening i just had the world in my hand and now i have nothing so fast…

anyway.. its almost been a month and a half weve spoken maybe twice for 5 minutes about nothing cause she never had time to talk..

so its like october.. she left in middle of september or something , anyway im sittin on my couch watching The flinstones just eating some cereal and my door bell rings… so im goin to answer it.. and i see Redhair threw the window ( its one of those windows where the design makes it hard to see threw like you cant see a face’s just body outline you know ) anyway i see a head of redhair and im like hm.. so i open the door and there she is… standing on my porch… i ran away from my dad…

i was fucking shocked beyond belief like WTF%$%$!! how did you get home like WHAT ??? my mom got me a plane ticket and a limo driver to pick me up at school… i couldnt beleive she ran away and flew back… for me.. it was like something outta the movies some epic ending to a chick flick or something..

anyway … long story short since ive wrote way to much.. could contact me if youd ever care to hear the full story..

anyway long story short.

- dated from 15 to 18
- We Broke up multiple times during , ( i ended up in the hospital for Suicide attempts )

- We were togther again after that for a while..until she Slutt’d out Drunk with my friends because of the ( jada bra thing when we were 15 it was one of the main problems in are realtionship because it was the night czar was leaving and i was with this chick the whole time and didnt see czar once… she was apparently crying in the soccer field by herself for hours , yes im a fucking idiot.. and regret it everyday of my life ) .

- anyway we were fighting and fighting to survive.. to make it work.. until she slutted out to my friends and was saying all this fucked up shit to them infront of me and saying she wants a 6 some and shit in bed..so i dumped her because she was acting like a skank who hated me for like 2 weeks and i was done with it.. so i dumped her.. she ended up fucking some guy she said she was friends with when we were 15 .. i always knew shed end up fucking this duche bag.. but not 2 years later when were 17 turning 18

so she calls me one night crying wishing and beggin for me back and i cant beleive i acutally agreed and we talked for hours… i was goin over to see her until she said… i slept with someone else.. i had to tell you.. please dont hate me

my mind went blank… it erased at that second.. there was nothing left.. not a single feeling not a single tear nothing.. i just sat there speechless and said…. bye and i hungup.. she called over 200 times in a row.. tryin to talk to me no joking 200 times… hours of calling non stop..

anyway i ended up getting backtogther with her ( ya i was that inlove with her that i didnt give a shit ) i was more inlove with this girl then life itself literally obsessed with her and not in a sick way…. we were crazy in love for years.

anyway i got backtogther with her and she ended up dumping me.. randomlly a normal day and she leaves my house.. gives me a kiss goodbye and dumps me on msn messenger the following day and its now may 24, 2010 and im yet to see her… and any time shes texted me or tried to talk ive been a Rude Giant Omega Asshole because she messed me up for a along time.. and i did nothin but treat her like a princess for years every single day.. every hour.. i didnt talk/hangout/ANYTHING with any other female the entire realtiosnhip we had she never knew what JEALOUSLY was because i made it impossible on purpose.. and she still some how fucks me over.. nice guys finish last is basically the outline of my realtionship.

anyway.. i dont no if its possible to Whipe your brain clean of Someones Excistence.. but i haven thought about her since like janaury.. at all literally not once and i havent seen except once a week ago at the liqour store.. she didnt see me but i saw her… maybe she saw me idk… anyway thats my story.. if i explained it in literal full detail… id make you all cry your eyes out but unfortunetly i dont have time to write up literally 48 hours of typing .. its 4am and i need some rest=] thats my story … thanks 4 readomg

(Screen) Name: Quikshot

It Started When I Started Year 7, I Saw This Boy Who ill Call “J” We Talked Non Stop And I Instantly Fell In love He Understood Me, Listened And Smiled At Me I Told My Closet Friends And Turns Out Two Of My Friends Liked Him Too :S They Asked Him Out And He Said No In A Very Polite Way. Luckily They Didnt Mention Me Liking Him.

For A Month Or So We Kept Talking Online But Not Much In School, We Still SMiled At Each Other But That Was It.
Months PAst With Us Just Friends, I Had Bfs He Had Gfs But They All Didnt Last Long.

Now Recently I Told His MAtes I Like Him And One Of My Best Friends Said To Him I Really Like Him And WHat Would HE Say If I Asked Him Out He Said Yeaa I Would But Im Still To Shy! Its Been A Year Of Liking Him Now! But The Girl WHo Said That To Him Likes Him Now And Its All So COnfussing. I WIsh He REalised How Much I Liked Him Wait Noo LOVED Him, Hes Just Soo Perfect I Wish He Just Asked ME That Question :/

(Screen) Name: YazZie?

Many of days I sat by myself thinking of her. The magic in her hazel eyes touched me. Though I am far distant from her now, it is not little I have recollections of her delightful smile. On serene summer nights, as a beautiful sonata plays, she often comes to mind. I muse over what seems to be an urgent absence of her presence.However, her silhouette still gently lies upon my thoughts. In the twilight,at the drifting of a cool aromatic breeze, I dream of Ella.
As I recall, I met her on a visit to the small Italian city of Naples. Though it had been some years ago, I still remember just how she looked then. From the beginning I never fancied encountering her. As a tourist I wanted to get out and explore my surroundings. Since I had a month cessation from school in the United States, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity for me to learn something new.
My tourist guide, a man by the name of Alberto Giovanni led group of those persons who like me wanted to examine the city. I was also apart of this tourist class. Giovanni, a middle aged man, appeared small in stature. He had a noitceable bald spot. There were remaining shrieks of gray hair on each side of his head. His protruding belly was the most recognizable, although his appearance overall resembled a unique kind of youthfulness.
The indivduals present were guests with me in Italy’s finest lodgings and resorts. I had met each one prior to the tour. There was no distance among each of us. Everyone was acquainted for the most part.At the commencement of the tour we all gathered around to take pictures of the picturesque towns. Upon passing historical sites our guide would pause, and explain certain aspects of our explorations. I learned quickly the irony involved with such a beautiful and peaceful country. It was pretty much created in the midst of various civil wars.
As we proceeded along, there were a menagerie of villages and public eating places becoming quite visible to us. Fully within the limits of the foreign assortments, everyone decided to stop for a bite to eat.I wasn’t the least bit of surprised when all in the group wanted pizza, although I have heard the Italians never invented this dish. As we all agreed upon the restaurant suitable for us, there was no hesitation to repair to the chosen public eating area. Before entering the restaurant however, my attention was suddenly arrested.
It was on a balmy Monday afternoon when my eyes fastened hard upon her. I thought to myself she could be no more than twenty years of age, Ella that is. Her eyes met mine as she smiled to indicate a subtle attraction. She had been working in her father’s shop that day, and was about to leave. I distance myself from the group I had heretofore kept company with, to approach what seemed to me a fallen gem.
Of the sunlight that fell across her hair…the dye from henna leaves accenuating her long tresses…reflected from her a red tint slightly varied. The yellow nylon dress she wore was of viola decor. Her form had a regal grace. Her toenails were perfectly painted, as if by a skillful pedicurist; the black high hill shoes around her feet, complimented all too well the eye shadow across her eyelids. She was like a topaz jewel in November.
When I got to where she was standing I introduced myself. She reciprocated by giving me her name. The conversation was natural, and it seemed like we had known each other for a long time. As we both talked there came an abrupt ending. Ella’s father called her back inside the shop. He caught sight at what was taking place. From the disapproval in his voice, he did not like the idea of me exhanging words with his daughter. She quickly hurried away, but before she left, she whispered in my ear to meet her at a certain place. I made a gesture to let her know I understood her.
I again joined the company I had been with since the early morning. It was evident from the chuckles and laughs all knew what had taken place.
I was in harmony with my fellow tourists, because as fate would have it, cupid struck me with his arrow. Following our lunch we visted more sites in Italy, until it was time to go back to the hotel. Once there, everyone seperated to their own rooms to rest. Later that evening there was to be a play in which all visitors wanted to attend. As for me I decided to take a shower and freshen up, I had a date.
On the approach of twilight while the guests gathered to go watch the show, I began my walk to the Italian square. Here I would meet Ella. When I arrived I saw her sitting on a bench. There she was, her long flowing hair lying gently on her back. Just like before, she did not lack in beauty, as it was obvious to me the intoxication of her symmentry ravished my heart. It was in secret we spent the first day, and the days that followed, endeavoring to hide from Ella’s father the relationship we discovered.
It was not long before she graced my lips with hers. I was transfixed in the romance that had taken control, while the many sunsets pour floods of light, bathing the The Venice River in orange. This river her and I sailed upon. She bedazzled me with one touch her hand, and her fingertips dripped eloquence on moonlit streams. Ella told me her father did not like me. He knew I did not come from a pure Italian line, and therefore, detested me.
Although the intrique was from the beginning a taboo, I made an effort to beguile the time by holding her in a caress embrace. We chose ignore the old traditions that once threatened love, and notwithstanding her father forbidding our relationship, we saw each other everyday.Though it was premature in essence, Ella and I wanted to marry. I desired her for my wife, but how could I pass the ethnic demarcation? To elope seemed like the more preferred choice between her and me.
The weeks had become shorter since I arrived in Italy, and soon I would leave to go back home. Being in Ella’s company was amazing. As it was our amusement, Ella and I would escape to the country side to the villa her father owned. In the heat of noon the two of us engaged in a quiet storm. Far the time was spent. In our realization of this, we would make our way back to the open square where I first met her. Strange I had no inkling of a thought that soon our time together would come to a sudden end.
Usually Ella and I parted only to see each other the next day; however, on one particular night she and I would be forever parted. It would end in a sad irony. The month in Naples Italy brought wedding bells in the sweetest vision. It was bella sera when my expectations were to be disappointed. Nightfall settled in rather quickly, and while sitting in the frequented places of Italy where lovers go to enjoy a secret rendezvous, Ella and I held each other freely under the starry sky.Entwined in silence, we closed our eyes in a lover’s tide.
Suddenly, the romantic moment was interrupted. Ella began to distance herself from me. As I opened my eyes, I met hers filled with so much consternation. Looking over my head, behind me, she seemed to be speechless. I turned to see what her eyes averted to, and in amazement I watched her father approaching us hurriedly, his face flushed with anger. Taking Ella by the hand he reprimanded her for disobeying him by interacting with one uttered not a thouroughbred. He then warned me to stay away from his daughter.
I tried to reason with him, but he became even more irrational. Finally, in complete silence I watched him lead Ella away, until both passed from out of sight. I never saw Ella again. Although I made visits to her home, it was of no avail. Her father’s servant told me either she was not present, or preoccupied with house chores. At length, after irritating Ella’s father with my constant yearning to see her, I was told not to come back on pain of death.
I left Italy without hope of ever seeing Ella or communicating with her while back at home. I had no enthusiasm to return to the United States. I felt I had left a part of me behind. Six years has passed since I last seen her though, and often she crosses my mind. In the gloaming when I glean a breath of solitude, I pensively gaze into the sky, and I wonder if she thinks of me. Azure hue intermingled with a soft glow across the distance, and nights in Naples Italy with my beloved, will never be effaced from my thoughts. Because I will always remember this Love Story in Italy.

(Screen) Name: Kamusta

Things in my life had been crazy for the past two years. I went through ordeals that no person should have to go through. In an attempt to hide all of my emotions (because I wasn’t allowed to have any) I got into the night scene, going out to bars with my girlfriends, getting drunk, experimenting with drugs, and of course meeting men. No one knew me, no one understood me, everyone knew me as a girl who was fun and a bit wild and they were drawn to me for that, but that was just the surface, no one knew the pain that was in my heart. My self destruction was getting out of hand, so I decided to go to Mexico to visit with my father. I had only started talking to him again about four years prior to that and our communication was shaky. He left when I was a young girl and no one knew where he was for years until he passed through New York when I was sixteen and got in touch with me.

I was going to be there for two weeks, it seemed like a good amount of time to get away, and little did I know that it would never be enough. My father had previously worked for a hotel that was on the beach so he made arrangements that I could use the beach and pool of that hotel. I spent my days there with an array of men trying to talk to me every day, I didn’t want to bother, and that’s not why I was there. My father introduced me to the young man who lived upstairs, the son of the man who owned the building. My father had asked him previously if he wouldn’t mind taking me out in the evenings and showing me around. We got along well and went out every night.

I did start to sense that he was developing feelings towards me that I didn’t reciprocate, I thought of him as a dear friend but nothing more. This was going to pose a problem for me.

One night we went to this bar, he told me that it was a very low key comfortable place where there were inexpensive drinks and good music- exactly what I needed. We walked in and sat down and I looked up and saw behind the bar a man so striking I had to look away immediately. It was as if I had a memory of something very significant, but it was nothing that I knew. I always make fun of people who use the term déjà vu*, but that is exactly what it was. I knew him, I know I did and he meant something extraordinary to me, but I had never met him before.

I had always believed in love at first sight. I am a big fan of Shakespeare and Romeo and Juliet is my favorite of his writings. In the next few pages you will read how similar this story is to that one.

I wanted to look at him some more, but I didn’t want him to see me doing it and it always seemed like when I raised my eyes in his direction he was always looking in mine or when I did catch a glimpse when he was not looking he seemed to sense it and look my way. His features were so handsome, smooth skin, full lips and almond eyes. I knew he certainly attracted women, how could he not being so handsome, so this would not be easy for me. He also seemed indifferent towards me which led me to think he had no interest. Shortly afterwards the waiter came over with a cocktail on the house. I looked up at him and he didn’t seem to be paying attention so, I thought perhaps he had not been the one who sent it.

I didn’t know what to do with myself, this wasn’t like when I went out with my friends and I would see a guy I was interested in and smile, flash my eyes at him, raise my eyebrow as a signal. This was love and love is not won that way. Suddenly he came out from behind the bar and sat right behind me. This totally freaked me out. In order to see him I would have to turn completely around which would be totally obvious. Plus I had the strangest feeling that he was watching me and I felt like I was on the spot. Maybe he would talk to me I thought, but he didn’t. I left the bar without him saying a word to him or him to me.

I couldn’t stop thinking about him, and I couldn’t help but feel that there was something there on his end to, in spite of his nonchalant manner. I wanted to go back again but could not tell my friend why. As I said I knew he had feelings for me and I put him off by saying that I am leaving soon so I don’t want to start anything (I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings), so how could I tell him why it was so important? I don’t’ remember well what exactly I did the next two days and it is not important anyhow. What is important is that two days later (more or less) my friend and I were walking around the Malecon and through the people I saw the man from the bar. He was with another guy which I would later find out is his brother. He was looking directly at me. My heart jumped, but what could I do? It is not as if we had been introduced and not as if he had spoken to me, plus I already have already explained to you the situation of my friend whose name by the way is Oracio.

We went to the bar again and to my dismay someone else was working behind the bar. I looked around and didn’t see him anywhere. I went home with a sad heart, wondering if I would ever see him again or if the moment had passed.

My time in Vallarta was running out, I few days left. We went back to the bar, my heart racing as I walked in but once again, he was not behind the bar and my heart fell to the floor. We sat down and started drinking, I looked at the door and my heart rejoiced, there he was, watching me. I wondered how long he had been there and I did not know? I contemplated what I should do, time was running out and I had to know if I was going crazy or if what I felt was real. I went to the bathroom as it is in the front of the establishment to catch a glimpse of him outside. Somehow the guys convinced me to sing, so I chose a song by my favorite band. I sang Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin. I was terrified especially knowing that he was there but somehow things were different here than at home, I had more strength and more courage.

I don’t remember exactly where Oracio and his other friend went and why I was sitting alone, but there I was and here was my opportunity. I thought it through and then got up and went outside to smoke a cigarette. He was sitting on the railing I smiled at him and said I just had to come out and get some fresh air as I was getting a little too drunk inside (it was the truth). He asked me to sit down and so I did, excited and nervous. He asked me if Oracio was my boyfriend and I told him no that while it may appear that way it wasn’t so, he was just a friend. I talked and talked telling him why I am in Mexico and so forth, and he was watching me intently but I wasn’t sure if he knew what I was saying. He then stopped me to comment on my eyes. And as many times as I have looked into the mirror at my green eyes and recognized them as beautiful, when he said it I blushed. A compliment had never mattered to me so much as when it came from him. He asked my name and I gave it, and he gave me his Ruben a song to my ears.

Oracio came out and tried to get me to go back inside, I said that I wanted to stay outside for a while. And I saw them eye one another up, and I felt I was caught in a vice. A while later Oracio came out again, we were leaving. So I said my goodbyes and then when no one was looking I gestured to Ruben that I would be back in 10-15 minutes. I went home, used the bathroom, freshened up and left again hopped in a cab and went back to the bar. There was a touch of fear that he may have left, but he was there waiting. I came out of the cab, he took my hand and we began walking.

We spoke to each other in broken English and Spanish and were able to converse very well that way. Somehow we didn’t need words anyhow; we knew what the other was feeling. He stopped and took a step down from the curb so that we were eye to eye (I am very short) and he kissed me, very soft and every so tenderly. This was not the kiss of a man who wanted to have me once; this was a kiss of a man who wanted to take me into himself for always.

We walked and walked and ended up on the beach. We looked at the stars and ocean. He asked me if I was in school, I told him I was and my interest was psychology. He in turn told me that his interest was in philosophy, a subject I greatly enjoyed as well as it was tied in with psychology. I should have recognized then that he was more about the soul and I was more about the mind and maybe that is why this story ends the way it does, but there is time yet for us to get to that. He sat on a ledge and I sat on his lap I started thinking, why now, why when I have such a short time left here, what will come next? He kissed me again sliding his hand up my shirt and into my bra. My body responded immediately to his touch and I know he sensed it. He pulled away and pulled my shirt back down. I wondered if I should have used more restraint? Should I not have responded that way? Was he testing my character? I got up and sat next to him and he kissed me again. He knelt down in front of and I knew this was something different, I knew it was important. We made love right there and I felt as if we were joined not just in bodies but in our souls as well.

After some time of walking, talking and occasional stops to make love again, I realized how late (or should I say early) it was and sadly I had to leave him as I didn’t want my father to get angry and I knew we both needed some sleep so we agreed to meet the next day. He brought me to my door and kissed me goodnight (or good morning). I went inside and felt something in my jacket pocket, a rock from the beach that he had put there, I smiled and kissed that rock and put it back inside my pocket and then went to sleep.

We had agreed to meet at the bar the next night and so I went and sat outside for a few minutes not realizing that he had meant the bar in the hotel right next door…. He came and got me and I could tell he had already been drinking for quite some time. I sat down and drank with him and then something bothered me tremendously. He was writing notes with someone, I think a girl that worked there. When I asked him he told me not to be concerned and that it wasn’t important so I dropped it, but I couldn’t help but think that every now and then he was looking past me at someone else. After a few drinks we left and went walking and talking as we had the night before. Then to my great surprise he fell to his knees in front of me and began to cry. He said he needed only my love, he begged me not to leave him. I held myself together but on the inside I was crying too. I felt the exact same way. The night before I knew he felt strongly, but didn’t know it was like this and while it broke my heart to see him cry, I rejoiced in knowing that he loved me.

He returned to my house with me that night and we snuck into my room without waking anyone and managed to make love again (we were like rabbits and had already done this several times all over Vallarta). We cuddled up and went to sleep for a while but eventually I had to wake and he had to leave before anyone else woke up. He said he would come back the next morning and so I waited anxiously for him.

The next morning I while waiting I wrote to him telling him how I felt. I was so anxious if he would come or not as I had no means of contacting him. He arrived in the afternoon and we sat outside my house on the stairs and he read my letter. The expression on his face let me know that he was pleased with what I wrote and happy to know that I loved him. We sat on the stairs joking around and my little sisters were teasing us. We decided to leave so I got my bag and off we went. We walked and walked, all over. I felt as if I could walk anywhere talking with him for the rest of my life.

As it got later I asked him to come back with me to see my father. I could not be disrespectful and not be there when he came home from work so he agreed to come with me. I was freshening up and he was talking in the living room with my stepmother for a bit. When I came out of my room she told me he was waiting outside. He told me that he didn’t feel comfortable in the house which troubled me a bit as I am a family oriented person and enjoy being with my family a great deal.

My father came home and I introduced them, I could see on his face that he didn’t approve and he said that I had to stay home that night. I stepped away with him and asked why and he said that he didn’t trust Ruben. What I found amusing about this is that certain things about each of them reminded me of the other, especially my mother’s accounts of when she first met my father. I reminded him that I am an adult and that I am not accustomed to anyone telling me what to do and that if I cared for someone that he would just have to deal with it. So he gave in, shook Ruben’s hand and then broke the news to me that I could not extend my stay as my plane ticket was not transferable. My heart broke as I wanted to stay there forever.

We went walking for a while, I thought it was cute the way he knew exactly the things that I found amusing and he knew just how to make me laugh. He also made me nervous as he told me more that once that he felt very possessive of me. Possessiveness is not something that I deal with very well as I am very free spirited and I wondered how long we would make it if he stayed that way. At one point we were sitting on the curb and I broke down as he had the night before. I poured my whole heart out to him and I don’t know if he understood most of what I was saying, but I know he understood the feelings that were behind it. He held me close and let me cry, he let me unload it all. When I was finished he dried my tears and told me that he loved me and that he would always be with me.

We met up with his brother and the three of us walked to the Malecon and got pizza. His brother had a better handle on English, but was also pretty drunk. He did give me some insight as to their situation and he brought up questions to me such as, how will it work when you go back to New York? I understood that he was concerned for his brother’s feelings and rightfully so. The evening grew late so they took me home. I wanted Ruben to stay with me again but he had make sure that his brother went home safely and I understood. The next night would be our last, he was working at the bar again as he was hired back. I agreed to come and meet him there and let him know it would be late in the evening as I had to spend some time with my father.

The next day was spent with my family; we went out for dinner early and stayed at the restaurant for a long time. My father tried to convince me not to go out that night but I told him that I had to but I would stay home for a while later than usual. I then left anxiously and went to meet my love at the bar.

I was having drinks watching the band play while he worked. There was a woman there that night, very drunk and behaving erratically. She was American but I could tell not 100%. She was there with a man who seemed to be possessive of her (there goes that magic word again). The argued and he left her there with no money and no transportation. I took her to the bathroom to try to help her sober up a bit. I looked at her face and could see that she had once been beautiful but years of hardship and probably too much partying wore her down. She started to cry, telling me her whole life too me. She too had an American mother and Mexican father who abandoned them when she was young. She now comes to visit him every so often just was I was visiting. I became frightened of her because I felt as if I was looking into a 10 year mirror. I knew the life that I was returning to the next day and I knew if I didn’t slow down I would be standing right in this woman’s shoes in ten years (she was only 10 years older than I but she looked about 20 years older).

I came out of the bathroom and went right behind the bar to sit with him, I was there to be with him not her and I thought it best to stay close to him. It was really better off because the woman began dancing around and lifting up her dress in a most disgraceful way.

At the end of the night we left together. I asked him if he would come to the airport the next day but he said no as he does not do goodbyes well. I did manage to get him to let me take a picture of him but he wouldn’t look straight into the camera and he rolled his eyes. We made love all night even in spite of my period. He held me again and we slept for a while but then we had to sneak out again before anyone woke up. I walked him to the gate and we kissed goodbye. He walked away not looking back to see that I fell to the ground holding my stomach and cried so hard that no sound even came out and I couldn’t breathe. I beat my fists on the pavement; it was all I could do to keep myself from running after him.

I came back to New York with a heavy heart. He was all that I could speak of. Some of my friends were fascinated others told me I was crazy and refused to even hear about it. And one of my friends, Chris, seemed very sad. He and I had been friends a long time and there was always something there but neither of us ever acted on it and it always seemed that when one was singe the other was in a relationship. At this point he was totally in the friend zone so I thought it odd when he seemed almost disappointed.

Two weeks went by and I sent letters every day, sometimes even more than one a day but I still hadn’t received anything. I know it takes forever for mail to travel internationally so I tried to be patient. Sure enough in the third week I received letters, all asking why I hadn’t written. As the weeks went by he still wasn’t getting my letters and then some of the letters that I wrote came back to me. So I sent them back. He had given me his father’s address in Guadalajara even though he was in Puerto Vallarta so that would explain why he wasn’t receiving my letters. Eventually we got it straightened out and our letters went back and forth in a two week time warp. I sent him a package for his birthday with letters and pictures and some other things, I wanted him to know how much I still loved him. There was a song that I would hear all the time and word for word I thought of him, even the tune expressed all of the love in my heart. I sent it to him and I wonder if he understood it… Pride can stand a thousand trials The strong will never fall But watching stars without you My soul cries

Heaving heart is full of pain

Oooh, oooh, the aching

‘Cause I’m kissing you, oooh

I’m kissing you, oooh

Touch me deep, pure and true

Give to me forever

‘Cause I’m kissing you, oooh

I’m kissing you, oooh

Where are you now

Where are you now

‘Cause I’m kissing you

I’m kissing you, oooh

Artist Des’ree

Little by little I was hanging out with my friend Chris more and more. He always seemed to be in the same bars as I was so he would give me lift home. Sometimes he would be driving past my block when I was on my way to work. It seemed normal enough to me since he lived a block away from me, maybe I was just to naive to see what was happening. He was putting himself there on purpose.

As time went by Chris began confessing his true feelings about me. I told him that I loved someone else. He told me that I was crazy and he loved me and he was right here, not in another country. I told him that it didn’t matter. But I was already becoming afraid of the intensity of my love for Ruben, my mind was becoming doubtful in spite of what my heart said. I started to fear the whole situation. And as time went on I began to substitute one man for another and trying to rationalize it to myself (even though it I knew how wrong it was to let one man have your body when another has your heart, especially when both love you). More and more I began to turn towards Chris just because he was there and I was afraid. On nights I got drunk and told him that no matter what he would never have my heart because Ruben was my heart. I don’t know why either continued to pursue me to be honest with you because I was terrible to both of them (but believe me in the end Chris paid me back for both of them).

So I went with Chris who was consistently unfaithful to me, as well as psychologically abusive. Knowing me for as many years as he had he knew which buttons to push and what words to use to hurt and manipulate me and he did it all the time. In the end I left him angry with myself for choosing him in the first place; but at that time it didn’t seem as if I even had a choice.

author: Laura Carlucci

Me and Angela never wanted to get married to each other but we have no choice. My Dad would fire me from my job if I don’t marry her and its goodbye to her glamorous life if she won’t. We hated each other, I’m serious and I concentrate about business while she’s childish and stubborn.

A month after, things between us finally cooled down, we started to understand and became comfortable with each other and not long after we fell in love.
When we heard from the doctor that she was pregnant, it changed our life, we became closer and happier, we wanted the baby so badly. I would come home early so we can have dinner together and call every 2 hours just to check up on her.

One day, I was called for a meeting on my day off, I left my cell phone on the car and when I checked it, there were 5 missed calls from Angela, before I can call her back, my mother-in-law called and informed me that Angela was rushed in the hospital, the doctors tried their best to save the baby but it was too late– she miscarried. I was in the bed side caressing Angela , waiting for her to wake up and when she did, she started crying about losing the baby, my heart went out to her I’m sad about losing the baby but I’m grateful that my wife is alive and that’s what matters most.

I thought everything is going to be alright again but day by day she seemed more miserable, she would hold her tummy as if the baby is still there and starts crying, I tried everything to cheer her up by proposing to have another baby but she’s not ready to have one because she’s scared of losing it again. Angela changed so much; she became bitter and unhappy.

I was called for a meeting one time on my day off and she didn’t want me to attend it, I explained to her how important the meeting was but she wasn’t listening, She got angry and blamed me for her miscarriage, I looked at her with disbelief and slammed the door and went to the meeting. I came home late and drunk and when I entered the room she pushed me out and threw a pillow at my face – “I’m sleeping in the couch”.
The next day, I apologized to her but she doesn’t seem to care about my apology, she told me that were going to have separate rooms. I tried my best to fix things between us but it was no use, I finally gave up on her.

Months later, I met Sandy she’s far different from Angela she has a five year old daughter named Megan. They made my life colorful again; I fell in love with them. Sandy promised herself not to trust another man again but I proved her wrong, I didn’t give up on pursuing her, she was everything Angela could never be, I fell deeply in love with her.

Even though she’s not my daughter Megan and I bonded like a real father and daughter, she had never seen her father and Sandy worked very hard to raise her alone — I’m happy I filled the missing pieces. One of the best things that happened to me was when I attended her school’s Parents day and was called “daddy” for the first time, I was overwhelmed with joy. With them by my side, there’s nothing I could ever ask for, I was ready to divorce Angela and accept whatever consequences from my father.

I thought Angela would agree but she cried when I discussed it to her, she told me that she still loves me and she wants to start all over again — “You killed us a long time ago Angela, it’s too late” I said it harshly and left. My father was enraged when he learned about my plan for a divorce, at that moment I wasn’t scared of him. Angela didn’t sign for the divorce but she didn’t bother us, it was clear in her mind that there’s nothing she can do to make me come back.

I continued my life with the people I care about the most. I bought a house for Me, Sandy and Megan and we lived there like a normal family. Sandy was very understanding to everything that was happening in my life and never pressured me. I fought everything that tried to come between me and Sandy, even my own father, I thought I can win over everything that would separate us but there’s one enemy that I could not defeat and it’s Cancer – Sandy is sick with Cancer, she knew about it but never told me and Megan. My world crumbled down when I heard it from the doctor and to make matters worse, they told me that there’s nothing more they can do to save Sandy, all there’s left is to make most of the time she had left. Even though Sandy knew she was dying, she managed to smile and never showed a sign of suffering, she taught me how to accept the changes that I must face soon and learn to love again.

Sandy left with peace and contentment in her heart, I felt lonely but not hopeless, I still have Megan and I promised Sandy that I would take good care of her. Angela was supportive and became my friend; I noticed that there was a big change in her. She was kind and caring to Megan. I remember what Sandy taught me – It was to love again and I did, but it took a while for me to learn to love Angela again. We got back together and she treated Megan like her own daughter. She gave birth to our baby girl and she didn’t mind calling the baby “Cassandra”, Sandy’s name.

(Screen) Name: Story Teller 777

This is a story of how I meet and connected with my soul mate, and our first date:

The first day we connected, I heard you talking, joined in the conversation. I was immidiately attracted to you. I sought out to have more conversation with you. We took a break by the back of the building and talked much more in private. I knew you were someone I was going to be connected to right away! I asked you to stay after work to chat with me more. You stayed, which shocked me, since you were working a double that day! We connected again that night as well, and we laughed and shared thoughts and feelings. We exchanged e-mail addresses and I wrote you for the first time that night from work, cause I so wanted to talk with you again. In that letter I know we had joked about us getting a one bedroom apartment and how we would arrange it with the four of us together, who would have ever have known that we would literally go there one day. I only worked there for two weeks! I only worked with you that once in which we connected. Got fired shortly afterwards, we never worked together again after that night, but we had already connected and started in motion a relationship.

Our first date! What a night! I think I could write a book on it if I had the time! We had e-mailed and chatted online for about a week. I had learned that she liked Arabic things, so I looked online for an Arabic restraunt to take her too. I wanted to be sure that she knew that I listened to her, and that I cared about what she said. I had to deal with the fact of telling her I was still married, but separated in mind and in spirit. I had practiced all day long with my mother and my best friend Marie on how to tell you this. I was sick to my stomach about it, cause I stood to lose her if I didn’t approach it the right way. I knew what was in my heart and I needed to be sure to convey it correctly to her. The Arabic place was very nice, she was even suprised when the belly dancer came out and started dancing. Since again it was something she had conveyed to me in that week about something she was very much into. I think she knew right there and then, that I was serious about us and this was not a fly by night relationship I was working on. I had arranged for us to go to the landing in downtown Jacksonville that night. I wanted to be close to the water, cause I knew we were both stronger emotionally next to it. We walked around a bit and enjoyed the Christmas decorations. She was like a kid in a candy store seeing the huge lighted tree and all the lights and ornaments. I walked with her all the while thinking about what needed to be discussed. I tried to find a warm quiet place and looked around for one. I remember telling her I had something to say, and she stared me dead in the eyes, which made it even harder. I told her, and of course she was shocked inside to hear what I had to say. We walked some more by the water while I gave her time to internalize it in her head. We ended up sitting down in a pavillion next to the water where we talked about it more. It ended with both of us still feeling connected. We walked a little more, and I stopped her and gave her a big hug. This was our first true embrace, we almost kissed there as well. I know I had wanted too, but she turned her head before I planted my lips. We ended up on a bench outside while we watched the Christmas tree perform a light show in sync with music. I moved her so I could massage her shoulders for her. We soon ended up with her in my arms sidways on a bench upstairs. We finally kissed, and it was like nothing I could ever forget. I had kissed many times before but with her it was pure electricity. I was already falling in love with her. We had both broken so many rules that night in regards to what we said we were that night. It was like the rule book in life for ourselves was thrown out! We had both agreed on that we don’t like to kiss on first dates!! I guess it was meant to be, and I now had seen her in a totally new light. From that point on I knew that I was going to have a relationship with this woman. Now to what degree I had no idea.

We never stopped talking from the one night that we meet at work. We have talked EVERY SINGLE NIGHT ever since then. Sometimes for many many hours, sometimes for only a short moment. One thing though that we agreed on is without a spoken word is that we would never let a night go without somehow connecting. I cannot begin to tell you how connected I feel with her. We feel every single emotion together and every single thought. We don’t even have to talk together to know what the other is feeling. It is like we are twins or something and are connected at the mind together. It really does amaze me in that sense, that we are so totally connected in mind and spirit. It has been about three months from that infamous first date, and we have not stopped loving each other since. We are now in the middle of planning to move out, and start a new life together. Who would have ever known from a simple meeting of the minds that we would have grown to love each other to this level of understand and commitment!

James

3/23/09

(Screen) Name: Jamestee