Is my marriage doomed?

[blueye]

I am a newly-wed and not the typical newly-wed by any means. My husband and I started dating June of 06. October 06 we found out I was expecting. Our relationship was not the healthiest but we were determined to make it work. December 06 we were engaged. July 07 we had a healthy baby boy. We had gone to pre-marital counsling before our son was born and it helped us chanel our anger in different ways. We just got married September 08 and too say the least, I am nervous it is headed south real fast. My husband is a very friendly person---is it possible to be overly friendly? He flirts with the young girls at day care. They even tell me how he is such a flirt. Now, I don't think he would ever act on it but I feel it makes me look foolish. He is still in school as he never finished college. He is in his late 20's and on facebook. Our most recent argument started as I saw some girl "posting" messages on his wall. There was clear flirting and 4 messages within an hour. He states it is innocent however when people look at his facebook page, I look foolish again. He tells me it is only my insecurity and is married to me so I have nothing to worry about. In addition, he has been going to the gym not wearing his wedding ring. He also has been leaving the house in regular clothes (taking a pair of gym clothes) and coming home in the same clothes he left in...showered and clean. Today he told me things need to chage and he is not happy. He wants to go back to counsling to see why he feels the way he feels but he can't communicate to me what I could be doing differntly. He said he is "miserable and hates being at home...has no desire to talk to me." What should I do????????

[sweetromance2]

I am a newly-wed and not the typical newly-wed by any means. My husband and I started dating June of 06. October 06 we found out I was expecting. Our relationship was not the healthiest but we were determined to make it work. December 06 we were engaged. July 07 we had a healthy baby boy. We had gone to pre-marital counsling before our son was born and it helped us chanel our anger in different ways. We just got married September 08 and too say the least, I am nervous it is headed south real fast. My husband is a very friendly person---is it possible to be overly friendly? He flirts with the young girls at day care. They even tell me how he is such a flirt. Now, I don't think he would ever act on it but I feel it makes me look foolish. He is still in school as he never finished college. He is in his late 20's and on facebook. Our most recent argument started as I saw some girl "posting" messages on his wall. There was clear flirting and 4 messages within an hour. He states it is innocent however when people look at his facebook page, I look foolish again. He tells me it is only my insecurity and is married to me so I have nothing to worry about. In addition, he has been going to the gym not wearing his wedding ring. He also has been leaving the house in regular clothes (taking a pair of gym clothes) and coming home in the same clothes he left in...showered and clean. Today he told me things need to chage and he is not happy. He wants to go back to counsling to see why he feels the way he feels but he can't communicate to me what I could be doing differntly. He said he is "miserable and hates being at home...has no desire to talk to me." What should I do????????

There are several things you can try. First of all, I would run, not walk, back to that counselors office. The fact that he wants to return to counseling suggests that he knows there is a problem he can't fix by himself. It also suggests that he's willing to reach out and get help.

Stop talking about it. As hard as that is going to be, I wouldn't bring up communication issues just now. Instead wait and deal with that in counseling. If he's having problems with his emotions, it may be that a doctor is in order.

Try flirting with him yourself. Did you flirt with him when you first got together?

Set up your own facebook profile, and send him flirty messages. You may also be able to post love songs that you can find on Youtube. They've got alot of inspiration over there.

Suprise him. Get a sitter for the night, plan and fix a romantic snack for the two of you. Then when he comes through the door, greet him with a bubble bath. It won't matter when you are finished if you bathed him or joined him. You'll likely inspire plenty of interest and communication he can handle