strong fear of making the wrong decision, need advice

[decemberwhispers]

I'll try to keep this as short as possible. About 2 months ago, my boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me because of all the fighting we did and he caught me in a lie that really "broke his heart". Anyway, I admitted my mistakes and talked rational to him, telling him I'd do whatever it takes to make it all up to him if he'd just work with me on all our issues. He said "I can't do it anymore" and told me to leave him alone, he was very angry with me and it showed, yet he wasn't taking responsibility for HIS mistakes, and it hurt so bad. It crushed me completely, and it took me a while to get over the "shock" of it all. I'd never felt such pain, couldn't eat, couldn't get out of bed in the mornings. Somehow, he managed to find a reason to call me at least once a week since the breakup. I talked casually to him, not to dare mention getting back together in fear of rejection again. Finally I just came to accept that he obviously misses me, but isn't coming back. So recently, I end up meeting this other guy, and he seemed very interested in me. I too found him to be quite attractive, and so nice, and he has so much going on for him in his life (unlike my ex, who is flunking college). He asked me on a date one night and I agreed. The next thing I know, he's asking me out quite often, and manages to call me or talk to me online every day. We've been spending time together and he's amazing, yet I can't shake the feelings for my ex away. Its very rare for me to develop feelings for someone, but it definitely happened with my ex, and even though he hurt me, I still want to be in his arms again more than anything. Now, to make matters even more confusing, my ex is starting to call more often and admits he misses me. I asked him to go out with me one night, and he declined and said if he seen me, he wouldn't be able to resist treating me like we're still together, and that he's not quite ready for that. He said he'd love to talk to me more often as "friends" for now and see if we can actually start "getting along". I was so happy that hes starting to come around, that I agreed to that. We both also agreed that we would be starting entirely over, and under no circumstances can either of us pick a fight over past situations. Now I have the possibility of reconciliation with the love of my life OR letting it go and try and see if something can eventually develop with this new guy. The memories I have with my ex were the happiest times of my life, I was on top of the world. Yet I'm scared of things going sour again with him, and then I'll have lost this new guy. Yet, if i choose this new guy, I'll always wonder "what might've been" with my ex. Im sure this other guy would not be waiting around on me, and it wouldn't be fair to ask him to. Now I'm in somewhat of a "love triangle" and I have no idea what to do, I have my fears with both options. If anyone out there has been through something similar and/or has some advice to give in this tricky situation, I'd greatly appreciate it.

[lilly]

mmmmm tricky decision alright. I dont envy you. I am imagining you hve already made that decison as this was posted in the end of december. i would love toknow if and what you have come up with and how it is going. Things like this really do ya head in trying to make decisions like this. But try and look deep into your soul and trust what your gutt is tellilng you on this. Work out what you like in each of them perhaps and write it down maybe. But most of all really soulsearch and basically if they break even i would almost go with the new one as you have had a taste of what things are like with your ex. If it is meant to be you will end up with him some how but i almost heading towards the new guy. Hope it helps

[barakatgirl]

barakatgirl2009ATYAHOODOTCOM
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