Live-in Boyfriend Texting XGF 2 Hours per Day

[maryleigh]

My boyfriend and I have been living together for just under a 1 1/2 years. In the beginning, he was still in touch with his ex
girlfriend on a daily basis. I let it alone because wasn't sure where we were going. But when we became serious about the relationship, I mentioned it to him. (He says he's known her for 25 years and had been dating on and off over the years. Up until about two and half years ago, he was married and living in California. He decided to leave his wife for various reasons and to come back here because his family is here. Before he came back though, he contacted this ex. She was married but getting ready to divorce. So she said she would like to see him again. They dated each other for a time. She was dragging her feet with the divorce. My BF became upset about it. They were texting regularly and things got heated. He sent her a foul text which her husband read. He insisted that she put out a restraining order on my BF. He said that once she did that, he had nothing left for her.)

The texting continues for 2 hours a day. I pay for the phone and see the bills. I finally confronted him about it head on. He said she is struggling with finally getting the divorce done and needs support. She is clingy and that's why there is so much texting. She texts him first, he says, he just responds in kind. However, I did read some texts that were inappropriate and raised my concern. He says it's just "playing". I told him that it shouldn't matter what her state of mind is or that she needs support. If it concerns me, my state of mind and concern should come first. I said that just being friends would be more like a hi, how are you, once in a while and I would be fine with that and, he should at least be able to make sure that's how it goes, if not, just cut if off. In addition, another time when I brought it up, he told me to block the number. So I did. She found a way to do it from computer IM, which can't be blocked. Then, I found that she was calling him from other numbers and he called her on her land line so as not to be seen texting. I did reverse phone search and found out they were her numbers at work and home.

I don't think I am making too much of this? Is it enough to ask him to leave? Could I possibly be reading too much into it? Shouldn't he not be giving me a hard time about it?