Our relationship with other human beings is on many levels. Marriage relationships, family relationships, relationships with friends or coworkers, are some of them to name a few. Each one has its own dos and don’ts. It would be ideal to have a basic understanding of how to make our relationships successful so that unwanted problems could be avoided. 

Several marriages end in separation and the reasons for the failure are numerous. Some of them are attitude related and quite a few are physical. However, the most fundamental reason is the inability of one or both partners to have proper understanding and patience. When the couple are having difficulty in compatibility, it becomes the job of the marriage counselor to correct their problems. 

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Usually, such couple would have frequent arguments and there would be anger and resentment in their relationship. Physical and mental dissatisfaction would clearly be evident. The counselor might need to have several separate and joint sessions with the couple before their problems are solved and better understanding is developed. Research data reveal that nearly counseling and therapy help three-fourth of couples having relationship difficulty. Their relationship improves in a significant manner. They emerge with a more matured outlook after such counseling. 

One of the main reasons for the increased incompatibility in couples is the single-family system that had evolved over the last century. Prior to twentieth century, joint families were prevalent everywhere. The elders were able to guide and counsel the younger people, whenever a problem cropped up. They also took upon themselves the upbringing of the young children. With more people in the family, understanding the importance of relationships was easier and faster. The advent of single family system had placed a huge burden on the couple in developing proper relationship among themselves and with their children. Under the circumstances, marriage counseling had become inevitable. Statistics show that there were about 21,000 marriage and family counselors and therapists in the United States in the year 2000. Further, the number of married couples who lived together increased to 5.5 million in the year 2000, from 3.3 million in the year 1990. 

Answering the following questions honestly would definitely improve marriage relationship and mutual understanding. 

• Are my actions or words taken negatively, even if I do not mean them to be so?
• Are my opinions being criticized constantly?
• Are my feelings and desired ignored?
• Are we always disagreeing in solving any problem?
• Do these disagreements develop into bigger fights all the time?
• Are accusations and sharp criticism part of such fight?
• Do one of us suddenly leave the scene and walk out during such fight?
• Are we frank in telling each other what we really think?
• Is the above action done in an honest manner or in an irritating manner?
• Am I seriously considering leaving the current partner?
• Am I being truthful to my partner? If I am not, does my partner know that? 

When both the partners answer these questions in a sincere manner, it would be easier to know whether the problems stem from one of them or from both. This would help the counselor to address the couple with specific therapy. 

As a first step, the couple should be made to understand that good working relationships help them in leading a healthier and satisfactory family life. Couples who are able to maintain or improve their compatibility have lesser physical and mental disorders. On the other hand, those who are constantly quarreling and disagreeing are having serious emotional and physical problems. Even if they agree to separate and divorce, it takes them a few years to come out of the past happening. It is never easy to forget the pain, hurt and trauma. 

One more major negative outcome of separation is the financial disaster that usually follows such divorces. In many cases, both the separated partners as well as their children are forced to live on government welfare benefits. The children are also physically and mentally affected very much by quarreling couples or divorced parents. As such, the counselor should point out these negative factors to the couple patiently and create maturity and understanding in them. Proper counseling had helped several couples in reorganizing their life and living happily.

If you would like to receive online advice and counseling from the experts at Love-Sessions. Please sign up for an E-session.