My ex boyfriend and I broke up almost 2 years ago. We are each other first love.He was the first guy I opened myself to. I trusted him and in the end I fell in love with him.We were together for almost a year.It was a horrible break up and it took me a year of tears and yelling to learn to live without him. Despite the emotional torture I vented out on him, he was the perfect gentleman and stayed out with me till the end. It was the darkest period in my life. I cried myself to sleep everyday and I am ashamed to say that I even had suicidal thoughts as the pain was so intense I just wanted to end it. In the one year, I learned that he actually got into a relationship with another girl after 2 months we broke up. He hid it from me and lied to me with the excuse that I will not be able to handle it.We went our separate ways eventually and did not contact each other.
\nI am not exactly an ugly girl, I have a fair share of admirers. But till this very day, I have not dated anyone. I am not studying locally and I busied myself with other stuffs. I thought that I have been learning to move on and let go of my past, but I’ve come to realize that my past still haunts me greatly, when I come back home during semester break.
\nThe pain I feel, after 2 years is still similar to the one I felt 2 years back. I look around at others and I wondered the same question to myself over and over again, why did other people’s boyfriend stayed with them without giving up while mine gave up on me? I have this urge to ask him if he is as haunted as me and did he have any regrets.
\nMy hometown is not a very big place and surprisingly, I thank my lucky stars that we did not bump into each other. We have mutual friends too. Whenever I hang out with those mutual friends and they start talking about my ex, I do not know where to look or what to say without looking stupid. I am friends with his best friends too and just talking to them, it aches me.
\nI’ve changed greatly. The break up taught me that I am so afraid that the people I love will leave me. It taught me how scary when you hand out your heart and in return you have it smashed and return back to you.
\nI realize how afraid I am to being hurt again that I can no longer open up to anyone. I hold back a lot. But I cannot say I hide it well as some people see right through me.
\nIs it true that there is a solution to everything? What is the medicine for a broken heart? If it’s time, how long?
\nI thought I have stopped shedding tears for him. I have been so wrong.
\nMy heart is aching so badly and I don’t know what to do.
\nI wish I have never met him. My heart is a broken and scarred heart.
\nIt feels wrong to talk about it to others. I do not want to be pathetic. <\/p>\n
(Screen) Name<\/b>: Smiley<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My ex boyfriend and I broke up almost 2 years ago. We are each other first love.He was the first guy I opened myself to. I trusted him and in the end I fell in love with him.We were together for almost a year.It was a horrible break up and it took me a year […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9,11],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.love-sessions.com\/confessions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2295"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.love-sessions.com\/confessions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.love-sessions.com\/confessions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.love-sessions.com\/confessions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.love-sessions.com\/confessions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2295"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.love-sessions.com\/confessions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2295\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2330,"href":"https:\/\/www.love-sessions.com\/confessions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2295\/revisions\/2330"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.love-sessions.com\/confessions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.love-sessions.com\/confessions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.love-sessions.com\/confessions\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}