By Bobby Larry

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Prologue

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Hello, ladies and gentleman. A special shout-out to my beloved Mabel is in order as I dedicate this message to her in the hope that she might forgive me for my recent heinous actions. This is a heartfelt message straight from the man himself, Bobby Larry.

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Message Start

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Chapter 1

I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve anyone, really. I’m sorry that this crazy bastard that I am chose out of all the women in that little store we toil in, it had to be you. Looking from the so-called competition, it was probably obvious why I wanted you. You have such a lovely, albeit rather unkempt, brunette ponytail. You have a perky, lively manner of walking, something that is still quite apparent when you’re waiting in line, always dancing the time away. You have a such a lovely voice. Now granted, you still sound so much like a girl even though you’re a full-figured woman, through and through. Still, it does make you sound quite youthful, though I imagine you’ll lose such voice by the time you hit 40. However, if there is one physical trait that stands out from everything else, it’s your eyes. They’re beautiful, soft, warmth-giving eyes. When I ever see those eyes with that smile of yours, I seriously feel that the vast, multiple troubles and travails in my life are gone. Those irises of milky azure rope me in into some strange, ethereal world since I don’t see many people with such a color. The rest of your countenance then ropes me into a calming mood which in turn completes a sensation that all of the stresses that I had before seeing your smile are someplace else. It really does feel that I may have seen, for a few seconds, a glimpse into heaven.

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Sometimes I listen to “Photograph” by Def Leppard whenever I imagine your physical presence. Okay, I try to imagine that tune as your theme song just for the rockin’ themes of infatuation. Yeah, I’m not one for the “contemporary” music of today with its dubstep, hip-hop, techno BS I don’t give a crap about. I’m weird like that. I just like that classic rock from yesteryear. With that in mind, that song of the same name by Nickelback can go to hell!

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I just want to go on record saying that while I found you attractive- and I still do at times -I am somehow not thrown completely out of whack to know that you sure as hell won’t be winning any beauty contests. That nose of yours could really use some straightening up, since it looks like it was smooshed by some wall from a few years back. Do you not have the means to buy some decent shampoo and conditioner to rein in that hair of yours? I see so many split ends and stray hairs everywhere that if you wore a bum’s clothes, I’d think you were that indigent. The most glaring physical feature I see is when you’re not smiling, your face seems to express one of two expressions: sad or angry. Of course, I saved the biggest flaw for last: your short stature. I’m like 6 feet 4 inches tall, and you’re what, like 5 feet tall? Still, there was an attractive hold you had on me despite your homunculus build. I thought to myself “How the hell could I be in love with such a woman? It’d be a struggle to kiss each other since I’d have to crouch or she’d have to climb a ladder of sorts. If I did do impossible and have a relationship with this woman, she’d only have me around as a human cherry picker. If I really wanted to date diminutive beings, I’d date some distant relative from my mother’s side of the family.” I could spend the rest of my time taking cheap shots at your shortness, but I won’t this cruel anymore, I promise. I only wanted to tell you that I know you’re not the most attractive woman in the world, especially given the customer base at our workplace, which can sometimes bring in quite the number of lookers in there. Nevertheless, in the face of more attractive women coming in and out of that establishment, you beat them all in terms of getting me hooked on to you since your aforementioned physical flaws, combined with the lack of makeup which I must give kudos because you don’t hide anything and good on you, combined with the good parts of you make me feel that I’m seeing a real, raw beauty in my midst. I’d like to know more about you, but since I’m the most depraved, decrepit, unbelievably timid and awkward guy in the world, I took the coward’s way of knowing you.

Chapter 2

It’s been over a year since I first met you, and while we’ve had a small chat here and there, my timidity must’ve put you off as me being cold and distant. I’m actually scared and desperate, I assure you. I always thought you were cute, but it was only in the last two months that I thought that you could be more than that. That’s when I began to search you on the Internet for your social media profiles. I discovered them and I enjoyed of what I saw. The lively, joyful life I saw posted- and I’m sure there’s far more of that I haven’t seen that is rightfully for your eyes only -really matches the sunny disposition I see in the physical space.

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I listen to “Kids In America” by Kim Wilde while I searched for you. I like listening to upbeat New Wave music, though I imagine you’d wouldn’t care for this genre. Sometimes I also listen to “We Got the Beat” by the Go-Go’s which by the way is so far the only female band I would ever care about.

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I’m kind of shocked, amused, and bewildered to see your interests, at least the ones I see in cyberspace. First of all, I am shocked at the number of animal-focused pages on your Facebook account. It’s like large swaths of your liked pages are either around dogs, official fan pages for zoos across the country, or baby animals in general. I like animals myself, but I wonder if you’ve ever taken care of one those creatures for at least one day. I got two dogs myself, and while I love them not I’m gushing with overt praise and affection because they can be a pain in the ass. Another aspect that I did not know about is the number of liked pages dedicated to food. You’re no doubt the thinnest employee at our little establishment, and I never would’ve imagined that you were once a rather chubby girl in the past. I guess doing all those exercises that you found on Pinterest really worked out in the end. Still, you sure love your chocolate, pasta, burger, and especially pizza fan pages, don’t you? I think you may have liked at least one page that promoted healthy living, but you sure love to eat, don’t you? Maybe, out of everything I’ve seen from your online presence, that is something I should emulate. I certainly don’t have the physique of Adonis, that’s for sure. Then, I see that you like all of that Marvel, anime, cosplay, really all of that nerdy shindig activities that I wouldn’t ever associate with you.

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Okay, I got to go off-topic for a bit. When I ever I see Facebook pages like “Nerds with Vaginas” and I see pictures of people that are reasonably good-looking, I’m at a loss of how these folks could identify themselves as “nerd”, “geek, etc. I’d say almost all of you guys- and yes, Mabel, I’m including you as well -are far too attractive to identify with such a stigmatizing term. I’m only maybe two or three years older than you, but this “geek pride” phenomenon is a completely alien concept, despite liking the same things that these newfound “geeks” find so interesting.

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I also saw that you love those parenting sites with all of those cute photos and videos of parent-kid interaction. I assume you want to be a mom yourself someday That is a perfect segue into the most glaring factoid about your digital self.

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Play “Sister Golden Hair” by America to set the mood. It’s just for a nice mood for the following segment. Yeah, I know you’re a brunette, but just go with it.

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So, I’ve seen you made a few dating profiles on a few websites. Now, I have to ask the following question: Are you insane?! How many times do I have to repeat myself? You’re an attractive woman! I seriously find it hard to believe you haven’t found the right guy yet. Now granted, you’ve dated once before. That may have colored a negative light on relationships for you. Still, I don’t believe you can look me in the eye and tell me that there aren’t at least three single guys you know in your circle of friends that would go out with you. You’re a charmingly beautiful woman with a more gorgeous heart. You’d be doing any guy a favor to even have just one date with you. Anyone who is even around you would know of your luminous grace. So, don’t go out to the reaches of cyberspace to a site where only vapid, distorted depictions of beauty, suaveness, or really any term of attractiveness that those creeps use to hide behind their own worlds of vainglorious, egotistical detritus. You’re better than that. You might be waiting for Mr. Right to come around the corner, but I really think you’d be surprised who could be a real unexpected catch if you asked anyone in your immediate physical reach.

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Of course, given your questionable practice of simply abandoning old accounts instead of deleting them means that I may have been reading old, irrelevant content. You might already be in a relationship, or simply not interested in relationships at the moment. The latter scenario would question your current fascination with parenting if you won’t take the first step to starting such a life, but I digress.

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Chapter 3

I thought that with this seemingly harmless observance of your online activities I thought maybe I will work the courage to go ask you out. I thought I would be so clever to perhaps coincidentally (wink wink) participate in activities of your liking, for example taking long walks in parks or going out to a nice Italian restaurant.

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I would’ve been okay with anything except for skating. By Zeus, I would prefer anything to skating. I would’ve gone to a wrestling match with you, despite my dismissal of said activity as a fake sport. I would’ve gone and watched all the crappy Rom-Coms that plague every theater since time immemorial. Hell, I would’ve done something I wouldn’t have expected you to like, like going to cockfights or something. Alright, fine. That last activity was something I know you wouldn’t like, but anything other than skating is my point of my little story here.

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I would keep imagining on what to say at the end of the date. It would’ve been memorable, or maybe something that you would’ve made you interrupt my poorly worded sentence with a kiss. I would then leave you at your place to reminisce about the good time you had with me, wanting more. I don’t think that this relationship would’ve been long-term, but it would’ve been a lovely time. I thought that I could take the next step and move forward. That’s when a sobering dose of bitter reality set in.

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I’d recommend playing “Where Did Our Love Go” by the Supremes at this point, though I’d prefer Soft Cell’s cover. I prefer that edgy, darker vibe from the latter group than that mushy Motown tune that my mother likes, but that’s just me. It sets the mood for what’s to come.

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I didn’t ask you out, that’s for sure. I had to take a step back and ask yourself the hard truth. “You’re an unpleasant, cowardly, disgrace of a man!”, I said to myself. “Why the hell are trying to get a relationship with this woman? So she can ‘save you’?! From what?! Yourself?! That’s all on you, you bastard! You’re never going to get what you want, romantic or otherwise, because you really are a wretched loser! It’s time to burn this bridge to nowhere. And do me a favor. Never get involved in anyone else’s life. You can’t love and care for yourself, much less someone else.” That was the impetus for ending what couldn’t be. The problem was that I spent over the course of a month spending almost all of my free time thinking about you. I’m not the sort of the guy that forgets easily. I tried simply not looking you up online for a week and I still didn’t succeed in removing you from my life. I couldn’t quit my job either. Everyone needs money, particularly me at the moment. That’s when I took a dark, rash turn for the worst. I had to make a conscious effort to burn bridges with you so I had a good reason to stay away from you.

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This is going to be dark so playing “My War” by Black Flag, “Slaughter Of The Soul” by At the Gates, “Dead Embryonic Cells” by Sepultura, “Fear of Napalm” by Terrorizer, “Los Angeles” by X, or “Wild Side” by Mötley Crüe. Don’t listen to them all at once at high volume unless you want to go deaf in 20 seconds.

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My puppy love for you turned into hate. I wanted to put the blame for my unrealistic future that was never meant to be on you. I thought this will finally put my imaginative dalliance with you with a very despicable act. I effectively sold your soul to truly depraved devils. I did swiftly and I even had a little cheer for myself for that heinous act. It is something I’ve never done to anyone else in my life. I felt a smug sense of superiority because I thought I tore you a new one. I thought I had the upper hand on someone for once in my life.

Chapter 4

After my darkest hour, I felt that with that act in mind, I could move on and forget that about this woman with this dark stain on her name. I anticipated that there would’ve been a change in my own feelings of self-worth. In short, I thought I would be feeling satisfied. That feeling never came. Indeed, nothing that I thought would feel ever came. I’m sure you know what I did now. The realization that someone did this to you is beyond words, I reckon. I can see that you’re avoiding me at work either by eyeing my movements, running away from me once your shift’s over, and looking the other way when riding a vehicle.

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Yeah, I noticed you at least three times outside of work. I remember the first two times you looking at me furtively. I was befuddled as to why you were looking at me rather longingly, even as the car move a greater distance from each other. Of course, I knew that you realize that I hurt you because the third time I saw you ducking your head to avoid seeing my derelict and morally compromised face.

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I’m sure you’re looking for somewhere else to work, though if there was any sense of justice in the world, I should be sacked. I thought that with my act I would stop caring about you, but instead I feel nothing but remorse.

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This is the part where I’d listen to “Edge of Seventeen” by Stevie Nicks. If nothing else, it to mourn any lost goodwill you may have for me, if even care to think of me in any way other than hateful terms.

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I’m sure you don’t feel like it, and I reckon there’s more than a few people that would want to exact violent retribution on your behalf, but now I only want to make a plea for forgiveness. I have tried to remove such a stain from your name, but I can’t trust the wicked people of digital age to do the same even if asked them to do so. Nevertheless, I will make the effort to repair your good name. That is the only thing I want from you now: your forgiveness.

Chapter 5

At this point in time, I’m falling out of love for you. At this point I only feel about parting ways, although I wish we could do so on good terms.

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If there is only one song you’d actually listen to while reading this message, it should be “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty. The lyrics sum me up perfectly, and that saxophone riff is just excellent. It’s my theme song, no less. Take that, Dave Ramsey.

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It may not be right in saying this, namely because I really fell in love with a façade, but I thought I had brief, beautiful moment with you. It was so beautiful and ethereal that it could only last for a moment. Still, even the briefest moments can make an impact of a lifetime. This is where I make my last goodbye to you, sweet Mabel. Farewell, and may you forgive me.

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Love

It is genuinely understood throughout the humanity that those whom you desire for sensual purposes are deemed important in our lives for two different reasons: One, for sex. If you’re lucky, you might not even have to pretend you like it every time. Second, to evolve into our spouses, and use that sex-thing that we learned in high school to actually procreate like it was intended. There comes a time when you meet someone who can give you both— sex and commitment— and that’s what every human’s life goal has yet become, the attainment of both. I have been lucky enough to experience this duo of traits in one certain individual. Yet I was mistaken, as the delusion of your first love is often commonly unnoticeable until months after the relationship’s ending.

This delusion will come upon everyone in life. It is unavoidable. The first kiss, the first time, the first everything. Your first love will stay with you for the rest of your existence as a small, comforting cubicle in the back of your brain. This cubicle is horridly messy, and a completely cluttered pandemonium. The shelves and drawers are chaotically stacked and jammed with files and folders of past times and warm moments that can’t possibly be forgotten. Back when the cubicle used to be neat and well kept, you were happy. You were in love. But this space hasn’t been touched in a long time, and the files’ texts are slowly fading away, getting more difficult to read with each passing visit. Though, nothing will be disposed. Each file and folder holds significant information that will be used to set a base and compare against the next few preceding relationships in your life. Soon you’ll stop comparing, but for now, you do. That’s normal.

Essentially, love is mesmerizing. Obsessive. Life-altering. Amazing. Painful. With love, you do not get out what you put in like they say about everything else. Love is math out of a one-hundred scale. If you put 70%, they’ll put 30%. If you put 20%, they’ll put 80%. The less you put in, the more they do, and vice versa. I’ve read somewhere that the ideal proportion is having both partners think that they are the 60% to the 40%, so that each is still putting in that much more effort than the other, but not feeling under appreciated by some unsurvivable cost.

Though love is the essential aspiration of all humankind whether we accept it or not, could it all just be a facade? Since the number of animals whom stay monogynous to their partners is slim, does love really exist? Or since humans are the most intelligent animals on the planet, is it some chemical combination in the brain whereas attraction + potential strong offspring-making genes + potential good parenting traits = love? Is love something to convince our coy race that life’s purpose is more then just to multiply versions of ourselves? That parents of children have a connection stronger than just wanting to produce strong and ample offspring who will flourish in the coming time without the aid of those who gave birth to them? That procreating has more of a purpose than just keeping our race alive? Or are humans just the only race who has the capacity to understand love and its complications? Is monogamy even real? 

Believing monogamy isn’t real is a very, very, depressing ideology. It might not be real for all we know. The argument that “since animals rarely practice it, it mustn’t be real” is, in my opinion, invalid. The human brain surpasses that of an animal, so why would we think that something we do is wrong just because animals don’t partake in it? We are significantly more intelligent than every animal on earth, meaning our brains can reach new levels and understand higher concepts— maybe including monogamy. It makes sense, because those who fail in practicing monogamy, aka those who cheat, are nine times out of ten vapid and imbecilic.

Love is real depending on who you ask. Go ask a newly-wed couple—love is real. Go ask a 45 year old divorcee— love is not real, nor did it ever exist. Love is like the belief in God in a fucked up, much more complicated sense. But simply, this is it: those who choose to believe in it are generally happier and see more of a purpose in life. Those who don’t, well, don’t. 

But love isn’t the only thing that makes people happy. Love is just a factor in the ideal of the perfectly happy human that our world has come to desire. One can be perfectly content and not be or never have been in love. Life has so much to offer, and just because love hasn’t come around yet for some person doesn’t mean they will never experience joviality. Love comes to all in forms we do not expect, and at stages in our lives in which we are not prepared for. 

That being said, number one—love is real. Number two— monogamy is real, if you are smart and willing to partake. Number three— love is not a necessity for happiness, but will constitute it. 

Understand that not everybody will believe in all three rules of love, and that’s okay. But make sure to figure out that about people you involve yourself in as quickly as you can, for if not, pain will come. And I won’t sugarcoat it—the pain of a heartbreak compares to no other kind of tolerable pain on this earth. Especially your first.

I post my love story on a blog that I run. I would be happy if you check it out, leave a comment, give your opinion, tell me what was right, what I did wrong, give me advice. The story is actually still running in my life, it hasn’t ended yet and that’s why your help is welcome. Thank you.
theloveilive.blogspot . com

(Screen) Name: Anon Ymous

Introduction:

(This is inspired by a true story . All events are true, I just added and edited some cute details. So okay, this is a story about my dad’s unmarried bestfriend. Excuse the way I wrote this, I’m not really good at writting stories. So I would call this freestyling baby haha )

7 years old

Watching my outside the window from my mother’s office, I saw this pretty little girl about my age. She was no ordinary girl, to me she looks like an angel. Pale skin, black hair, and a very weak but beautiful smile. Yes, she smiled at me. My heart leaped and I smiled back at her like a little kid about to be given a lollipop. I bolted out of my mother’s office and ran to the bus stop where she was standing, my mother’s secretary chasing me. “Heeeeeeeeeeeey” I jumped and waved at her. She giggled and waved at me from inside the bus. “You’re pretty” I called out she smiled and stuck her head out of the bus. I Pointed at myself “I’m trent”.. “I’m Emily” She called back. The bus started driving away she smiled at me “Bye Treeeeeeent!” we waved at each other. I had this puppy dog pout while waving as the bus drove away until it was out of my sight. “Gotcha!” My mother’s secretary grabbed my collar and dragged me back into the building calling me a “Little devil”.

17 years old

I was kicked out of the private school for causing too much trouble. “He would get in to fist fights, pull pranks on the teachers, turn the whole classroom into a circus . He influenced a lot of students to be more like him and one more thing, he’s a heart breaker he broke almost all the girl’s heart , even my daughter’s.” enumerated the school administrator purposely. “So You are saying this school is incapable of disciplining one child?” My mother raised her voice. The school administrator told my mother. “Your child is beyond discipline Mrs. Stanford. all his offense filed up together is more than enough to kick him out, I’m sorry”. My mother stormed out of the office angrily. “Well jack, it was a real pleasure doing business with you” I took his apple and chuckled. “Why You heathen” He turned red and I ran out of the room laughing.

The drive home was long and quiet. I kept trying to start a conversation with my mother but she wouldn’t talk. She just had this angry look on her face. When we reached home, My mother gave me a long hard pinch on the side . “Owwww! mum I’ll behave I promise” I pleaded then she released me. My mother was the type of mother that would choose to believe whatever excuse I have than others and I love her a lot.

Public school

My first day in school, the teachers in every class started off by introducing me to the whole class and I immediately gained friends. There was this one classmate that caught my attention though, she wasn’t interested in me or wouldn’t even look at me . I sat next to her to find out that mystery. “Hey” I extended my hand to her, she continued reading her book and shook my hand without looking at me. “I’m Trent” I said confidently. “Cool. I’m emily” she said plainly. I was gonna say something more but she told me to hush. No one ever told me to hush before. Why isn’t she attracted to me? oh maybe she’s lesbian.

Next day

“Hey lesbian Emily” I greeted her while leaning on the locker beside hers. She stared at me, it was the first time I saw her face clearly. She looked really familiar but I couldn’t remember who. I searched the back of my mind while staring back at her until I remembered. Pale skin, Black hair, Pretty face, and Emily. “You’re Emily!” My eyes widened. “Yea you knew that since yesterday brotha’ now will you please vanish” she waved me off. I had this shocked happy face on that creeped her out. “Emily, Don’t you remember me?” .. “…No, I don’t know you and you are creepy” she replied with a creeped out tone and started walking away. A lot of people started looking at us and the girls gave her an annoyed look as she walked past them. “Remember that kid from 10 years ago who ran outside the hospital just to say you’re pretty” I followed her. She stopped on her tracks , turned at me with wide eyes and smiled. “But you were chubby then” she stared at me curiously. “You find me attractive now aye?” I said cheekily. “No that little chubby kid who looked like a penguin has always been my ideal guy” she smiled and her face turned soft. “Isn’t this weird, like the chances of us meeting again after how many years.. Wooow” we were so amazed ” Well The penguin never had the chance to hug you” she chuckled and hugged me. “Will you walk me to class mr. penguin?” .. “I’d love to” then i walked her to class , leaving everyone curious.

COLLEGE

Emily and I started dating when we were in college, and we never got bored of each other even though we didn’t see each other as much. She was busy with her studies, she made me busy with mine and thanks to that I was able to graduate on time.

2 years after college

“You’ve been working too much again baby” I hugged emily from behind and kissed her cheek. “I have to” she kissed my lips softly. “Is it just me or you look more pale than usual, you look so frail” I eyed her. “You’re thinking too much, go back to bed love” she caressed my face. “Okayy…” I sighed. “Actually, I’m not going back to bed unless I take you with me” I lifted her and took her to bed . That night we made love.

I woke up to the most beautiful face smiling at me, caressing me. “I love you” those were the first words that came out of my mind. “I love you until the day I die” she said softly. I sat up and pulled her to an embrace. she kissed my bare chest. “Emily?”.. “Yea?” .. I took a small box from the end table and took out the ring. “Will you marry me?” … “I … can’t” she started sobbing and I was so confused and surprised. She wouldn’t tell me no matter how much i tried. I suspected that she did something so I stormed off the house and went to leave with my bestfriend. I didn’t come home for two days, then I saw her leave the bistro with a fine looking man about my age. He opened the door for her then they drove off. I came home to our house that night, not to get back with her but to pack my things. She gave me a painful smile and tried to hug me but I didn’t let her. I packed all my things without saying a word to her, she kept crying begging me to stay. “Is he the reason why you can’t marry me Emily? huh?” I yelled at her. “No, It’s not what you think” she reasoned. “Then explain to me what’s going on?” … ” I can’t , not now” .. “Wrong answer, you just ran out of time goodbye” She was on the floor hugging my legs, still begging ang crying. I took her hands off me and walked out.

3 months after, 5:am

Emily’s mother called me asking me to meet her at the hospital and I did. The first thing she did was slap me. “You did this to my daughter”. she tried to fight the tears from coming out of her face. “What’s going on?” I was so confused and panic started flooding my head. “Of course you never knew, follow me” I followed her and when we opened the door. I didn’t recognize the girl laying down on the bed. She’s bald, so thin and weak. I convinced myself to believe that its not emily then recognized the ring she’s wearing. It was my emily, my love. I started walking towards her but her mother told me not to wake her up since, she needed rest for another chemotherapy. “Why did you just tell me now?” .. “She kept it to herself until she couldn’t take it anymore, We didn’t expect it to come back” she started crying. “She had it when she was just 6 years old, it went away but now it’s back. all the doctors could tell us is to pray for a miracle” she covered her mouth while she was crying. I bolted out of the hospital. I cried so hard inside my car, I went crazy, I couldn’t process everything. I kept screaming and pulling my hair. I was in a state of shock and denial. Maybe emily was just playing a prank on me? Must be like that yea? Emily is too strong to get sick. “I love you until the day I die” those words that emily said kept replaying on my mind. The scene at the house when she begged me. IT WAS ALL MY FAULT . I cried so hard inside my car. Can you imagine the love of your life about to be taken away from you?… I stared at the rosary hanging on the mirror of my car. I took it out, and started asking God why this has to happen. “God please send me an angel, make her well please, I believe in miracles please let one happen now, please” I kept begging God then my irrational side came out. I stared angrily at the rosary “Why are you taking her? Why?” I threw the rosary outside. I fell asleep crying. My mother came and woke me up and I started crying again. She hugged me tightly, trying to relieve me. “My baby boy, stop everythings gonna be okay?” she stared into my swollen eyes. “No it’s not mom” I was like a little boy. “We’re gonna get through this okay, Okay?” my mother assured me. I couldn’t understand her anymore. She Slapped me “Snap out of it Trent, do you want her to get worse? Don’t you think you being like this wont affect her?” I stopped crying and inhaled deeply. I went home with my mother to take a shower and fix myself. I bought the best bouquet the flower shop could make for me. It’s so hard not to break down and cry as I walked closer to her room. I opened the door , and walked over to Emily. She was surprised to see me , tears started pooling her eyes but I kissed them away. “I missed you” she pouted. “I’m sorry” she put her finger on my mouth. “I don’t want to hear that” her voice was pleading. I just nodded. I kissed her finger and she smiled. “I’m so ugly baby” she pouted. “Are you kidding me?, this flower is not even half as beautiful as you” I forced a smile. “Oh stop it” she chuckled. “I love you more than anything in this world emily”.. “I love you too , until my last breath”… I breath deep. The doctor came and took emily for chemotherapy. I released all the tears I was hiding then I shaved my head off. Emily was so weak when she came back , thankfully my new look made her smile. “Can you sleep next to me please?” she begged me. “Is it okay?” I asked the doctor. “I guess it’ll be fine , the bed is too big. just make sure you don’t impede anything” I slept on her left side since all the monitors were on her right side. I kissed her head and she kissed mine. As usual, she was awake first than me. “Emily?”.. “Mhm?”.. “Since you’re wearing that ring, Will you finally marry me?” she cried and finally said Yes , the biggest Yes. The next day I bought wedding rings, and brought the priests. Our wedding wasn’t that fancy but It was meaningful. We exchanged vows and finally became man and wife… for a week until she passed away…

I LOVE YOU EMILY FOREVER UNTIL THE DAY I DIE, I WILL BE WAITING UNTIL MY LAST HOURS WHEN YOU WILL COME AND PICK ME UP AND WE WILL BE TOGETHER FOR ALL ETERNITY.

(Screen) Name: Isolation

So I just got done watching The Notebook, one of the happiest, saddest, realest love stories ever invented. The love Noah & Allie share is so genuine, and unconditional. I can’t help but wonder if there’s a love like that that out somewhere for me. I know I’ m young and shouldn’t be rushing into things like eternal love but I can’t help it. I can’t help the fact that every moment of every day I think about that kind of love, the love that I can only even remotely think about sharing with one person. He knows who he is, I think. It’s sad because there are only two men in this whole world that I think I could ever love unconditionally, but they’ve both failed me. One of them is my father. He died when I was eight. I wasn’t even fully aware of everything in life especially not love when he died. They say a fathers love is the strongest love, but what happens if you never experience that? Well I guess that’s why people find someone to love and spend the rest of their life with, as a spouse. The second failed love is, my, well everything. Or at least he used to be. We’ve known each other for about 5 years, but it feels like I’ve known him forever. When we started going out, I was the happiest I think I’ve ever been in my life. But somewhere along the road we lost our way, and my heart got broken. I don’t even know how it happened or how it went wrong but it did. I thought I could find my way back to him but it’s hard when the person isn’t trying to find their way back to you. Sometimes I just wonder if love even really exists. I mean of course it does but why is it so hard to come across? Why do people have to go through so much pain to get the love they want, need, and deserve? I know God is supposed to be our everything, and we are supposed to find everything in him, including love. But sometimes that’s not enough, it’s hard to feel the love when no one is right there standing beside you, touching you, talking to you, listening to you, if you can’t see them, how do you know they’re there? I believe in God and that he is omnipresent and is around me at all times but sometimes my flesh needs the earthly love of a man. So what are those of us with no love supposed to do? Do we just live life knowing there isn’t any love for us? Do we pretend to feel loved but deep inside all we feel is pain and abandonment? Or do we just keep fighting for the love we know is out there but may take a lifetime to find?

(Screen) Name: Jizzy Jay

For privacy reasons, I am going to use fake names. My current girlfriend’s name will be babe and the mutual friend will be angel

After being dumped by my ex girlfriend who said “You are too nice of a guy”, I was heartbroken and hopeless. Months have passed and I was out of control meaning partying nonstop and trying to get the relationship off my mind. On memorial weekend 2012, I went to Las Vegas where I met the love of my life through a mutual friend. I met babe in Las Vegas of all places. At first, we were just friends and didn’t know a thing about each other.

As a month passed by, I met babe again in Vegas through our mutual guy friend angel. It was EDC weekend and us 3 partied with a bigger group of friends. Babe and I talked but never had feelings for one another even though I thought she was attractive however she thought I was too young for her. We all had a blast EDC weekend and I ended up getting her number then and contacted her through text messaging.

During the summer, I traveled to Thailand with family. Babe and I texted nearly everyday during the month I was overseas. At this point, I was cautious of liking any woman or being in a relationship. We both kept or relationship on a friendly level.

When I came back from my trip, I needed to catch up with her in person, so I drove almost an hour away just to see her since she lives far. During the time babe and I tried to get to know each other I always went back to talk to my friend angel about how she felt about me since she thought I was too young. Angel told me “don’t give up” and I will never forget he always gave me confidence and strength to keep on talking to babe.

As babe and I went on our second day out, she gave me a kiss right after I dropped her off at her house. That kiss made me feel that inner connection between us that I have never felt before. Right then and there, I knew this was something special. Not too long after, we told our friend Angel we are officially dating!

A few nights later, Angel, a group of friends, and I went to a concert in LA. Angel was happy for babe and I. Angel said he knew I was a great guy for her and babe was a great woman for me. I couldn’t thank Angel enough for bringing babe and I together.

About a few days after babe and I were dating, Angel, Babe, a few friends of ours, and I were enjoying ourselves with a night of clubbing. That would be the last night babe and I would ever see Angel again.

Two nights later, Angel died in a DUI car accident. Babe and I couldn’t believe it. Angel was one of Babe’s best friends and he was one of my more trusted and beloved friends.

Suffering through so much grief, Babe and I tried to pull ourselves to together and stay strong. We believe Angel brought us together for a reason. Before Babe and I knew each other, Angel knew we were both hopeless romantics perfect for one another.

Till this day, we call Angel our “Cupid” and “Angel” watching over us as Babe and my relationship has bloomed so quickly and grown so deeply in love with one another. Angel was our savior. Babe and I wished that only if he was here to see our relationship grow as great as it has been even with him still here. We can’t thank him enough.

(Screen) Name: Ourangel

For privacy reasons, I am going to use fake names. My current girlfriend’s name will be babe and the mutual friend will be angel

After being dumped by my ex girlfriend who said “You are too nice of a guy”, I was heartbroken and hopeless. Months have passed and I was out of control meaning partying nonstop and trying to get the relationship off my mind. On memorial weekend 2012, I went to Las Vegas where I met the love of my life through a mutual friend. I met babe in Las Vegas of all places. At first, we were just friends and didn’t know a thing about each other.

As a month passed by, I met babe again in Vegas through our mutual guy friend angel. It was EDC weekend and us 3 partied with a bigger group of friends. Babe and I talked but never had feelings for one another even though I thought she was attractive however she thought I was too young for her. We all had a blast EDC weekend and I ended up getting her number then and contacted her through text messaging.

During the summer, I traveled to Thailand with family. Babe and I texted nearly everyday during the month I was overseas. At this point, I was cautious of liking any woman or being in a relationship. We both kept or relationship on a friendly level.

When I came back from my trip, I needed to catch up with her in person, so I drove almost an hour away just to see her since she lives far. During the time babe and I tried to get to know each other I always went back to talk to my friend angel about how she felt about me since she thought I was too young. Angel told me “don’t give up” and I will never forget he always gave me confidence and strength to keep on talking to babe.

As babe and I went on our second day out, she gave me a kiss right after I dropped her off at her house. That kiss made me feel that inner connection between us that I have never felt before. Right then and there, I knew this was something special. Not too long after, we told our friend Angel we are officially dating!

A few nights later, Angel, a group of friends, and I went to a concert in LA. Angel was happy for babe and I. Angel said he knew I was a great guy for her and babe was a great woman for me. I couldn’t thank Angel enough for bringing babe and I together.

About a few days after babe and I were dating, Angel, Babe, a few friends of ours, and I were enjoying ourselves with a night of clubbing. That would be the last night babe and I would ever see Angel again.

Two nights later, Angel died in a DUI car accident. Babe and I couldn’t believe it. Angel was one of Babe’s best friends and he was one of my more trusted and beloved friends.

Suffering through so much grief, Babe and I tried to pull ourselves to together and stay strong. We believe Angel brought us together for a reason. Before Babe and I knew each other, Angel knew we were both hopeless romantics perfect for one another.

Till this day, we call Angel our “Cupid” and “Angel” watching over us as Babe and my relationship has bloomed so quickly and grown so deeply in love with one another. Angel was our savior. Babe and I wished that only if he was here to see our relationship grow as great as it has been even with him still here. We can’t thank him enough.

(Screen) Name: Ourangel

my storys about when my brother brought his girlfriend home… i am a serton age (not saying) and i am a girl… i also like girls, i am bi, and im in love with my BROTHERS GIRLFRIEND! i cant stand it… i kept it a secret for almost a year and he proposed to her and they had a secret wedding…. the whole time im wishing it was me marring her 🙁
FML

(Screen) Name: chas

I have always enjoyed bullying and playing pranks on the girl I truly like. But sometimes, i have a habit of going overboard. So it’s not surprising that I have lost many girls I truly cared for. Although my way of showing love is very erm.. sadistic, my feelings were true every time. So when I got dumped for the 3rd time, it left me with no hope in love ever again. I thought about changing myself to be caring and gentle, but I realized it would all be just an act. and I wouldn’t want to keep the girl I luv in an illusion.

So like a complete idiot, I took the role of a playboy and flirted around to my heart’s content. But, I was never truly happy.

Then came a girl. She was in desperate need of help. No one seemed to give a damn about her problems so they bluntly ignored her. I was going to ignore her too but I didn’t. At that time i thought she was pretty, and if I helped her, I could enjoy flirting with her in future.

But it didn’t go as planned. After I was done helping her, I saw her bright smile. “You are very kind you know,” she said. I was thrown back. I was feeling guilty. I tried to explain to her that I am not what she thinks at all. She denied me strongly. To validate her point she told me “When I needed help soooooo much, no body help me. Only you did. So you are kind”. She seemed like a very nice girl and so I decided to retreat myself from playing with her feelings. I guess a trace of humanity was still left in me. I told her “You know, I have many girl friends. One for morning, one for daytime and one for the precious night time.” Then I laughed. She didn’t say anything back, and we went our separate ways.

Thought that was the end of it. But somehow, we met again. I ignored her. Thought it was for the best since after what I said to her, she wouldn’t want to talk to me. That’s what most girls would do. But her “hello” with the same bright smile took me completely by surprise. We had a little conversation and then something amazing happened. My friend who was next to me started teasing us both saying we are in love with each other. While i denied it completely, she made a bold joke out of it. “Yes, we are going out with each other,” she stated and giggled. My friend went on to ask more questions like how far we went with our relationship. Again she made a joke. “We went really far, remember last night what we did together in the bed?” She looked like she was really having fun making those jokes. I was speechless. But, i went with the flow and we completely, out of the blue made up a story about our relationship to my friend. We became close… and I was suddenly happy.

Most definitely, I was falling for her. I made fun of her, teased her and even got her to call me master. I called her toy (lol). I was wishing hard that she wouldn’t break like the rest. I cursed myself for having such twisted personality, but causing her trouble and watching her cute troubled expressions was amazing.

My wishes were granted. She never got pissed at the things I did and kept on following me around. Though I got her into trouble in the first place, I always helped her out of it. It was going great between us until…

I found out she has a boy friend. How did I find out? She came to visit me WITH her boy friend. I watched them hug and cuddle up. I tried to play it cool. I tried really hard. But I was completely broken. “Seems like I’m interfering yo guys. You two should get a room,” I said and dashed out of their sight. I tried to find a calm spot to calm myself down. I ended up to my favorite place on a mountain edge. My mind went blank and I felt like I would burst in tears any moment now. How uncool.

But before I could do so, there she was standing behind me. I was baffled. With feelings of jealousy still lingering around, I said “What are you doing here, done having fun with your boy friend?” She only said “I’m sorry…” I had no idea what she meant by that.

Things got weird after the incident and we didn’t see each other as often as before. Then one day, she told me she broke up with her boy friend. Normally, I would act cool and make a comment like “Why? Did you fall for me? (lol)”. But I didn’t. I was surprised myself. My body acted on its own as I hugged her tightly. She told me “you are the best master ever!” and hugged me back. I told her “Little toy, you are my property so I wont let anyone else have you. And one more thing. If I can’t play with you toy, the whole world will be boring…” shortly, we kissed and I felt like I could die happy.

However that wasn’t the end. Reality is harsh. She had to move to a new place and she barely had time to come online. We were getting further and further apart. Eventually, she was gone from my life and it’s then I felt a massive, massive, maaasive loss.

She was someone who no one can replace, the best girl in the whole world.

(Screen) Name: LOL