..I’m a very optimistic type of woman, friendly, bubbly, has a fighting spirit, but I’m not very direct when it comes to my feelings. I’d say that I’ve been into such relationships which ends up badly or such a way that i think of it. Years ago, when I was a freshmen student I met this guy, he’s way too older than me and I don’t care nor love him. It just felt like that time i need some attention and thinks that it would save me from the current complicated situation I’m in. Specially I was suffering a family problem. We’ve been together for 5 days and he wants something to happen with us sexually. I really don’t like and I don’t ever like when he touch me. Eventually we did try but i quit and just refuse. He started fooling around and i don’t care I just wanna go back to my old life without him. He’s a total waste of time!! But before that I had this wonderful chat with a guy online. He’s way too far from me..though he’s a bit older than me, i feel the connection between us. I did love him. We almost chatter for a year, spent good times online, fun times, fight sometimes,etc..etc..but things didn’t went well. He said he had found someone there and she really likes him but i bet he is married. Oh well lesson learned but i did cried a river for him! and we even didn’t met in person. So i go on with my studies, really want to finish while having dose of family problems. And because i felt like wanting some attention i decided to meet this older guy i chatted few times online. He’s divorced and has a kid. I don’t really have plans to go steady with him. I just feel like that time it’s good to have someone around, talk but i know he only wants sex. Well nothing happened, but he did tried seducing me but thanks God i didn’t give in because all that time I’m still thinking of my old flame with that guy i chatted online for a year.
And then again year later, another man i met online, he’s a lonely person, needs some attention, lack confidence but very generous. I feel guilty since I’m only using him for my own benefits but I did help him to make feel good about himself. He’s older than me…way too older. We met in person. We did try oral sex but not the actual intercourse, for me I’m sure of myself that I wouldn’t give in to him but I just like to try some sexual activities with him and besides I know he deserve it anyways. But then he realized I don’t really love him and so I did try to save our relationship but I know it’s going nowhere. So we both separate ways and I just wish him happiness and I don’t really feel sad.
And so finally i met this guy again online!! I feel that he’s just the one for me. We’re very compatible and i fall in love with him and i believe the feeling is mutual. We met and spent good time with each other. Officially he’s my first. And i don’t regret it, i like it and I’m happy he is that guy. I love him so much and we’re still working our relationship. I just realized we need to be more trusting with each other and loyal. I wish he’d be my forever though i don’t really tell him things like this. I just really tell him that I love him and do my best to show it to him. And what’s important we’re happy!!!
I just really feel I’m attracted to guys who’s older than me because i feel they could take care of me and love me better. And i feel secure! but still it depends on the person. Past is past, whatever happens in the past,we should not blame ourselves. Instead we should learn from it and try to be the best person we can be. And i so fucking love this guy I have a relationship with now and I’ll do my best to be with him always.:-)
(Screen) Name: Damngurl62
