:(

i knew this guy for almost 4years. at first, i just treated him as a good guy friend and classmate. but then days passed by and i started to fall in love with him, knowing that one of my classmates also had a crush on him. i felt jealous because they are closer than us. it really hurts seeing them together. and knowing myself, i watched them from afar and started to ignore the guy.
1year had passed, and i still have feelings for him. and he doesnt seem to care that i wasnt talking to him for the past few months.
i decided to stop my feelings and look for another guy instead. though i succeed, i can still feel the emptiness inside me whenever he’s not around. that’s the time i realized that i really love him.
graduation day came, yet we still didnt talk and he doesnt have any idea what i was experiencing that time. well maybe he had, because i had this feeling that he knows my feelings. and know what? i even did a stupid thing before. i tried to flirt with him. and i even made a pin which has our picture in it(which he found out.) NOW I REALLY REGRET ALL OF THOSE. im stupid. and my cheeks were even turning red whenever he’s around. not so obvious, am i?

when we went to college, i thought i can forget everything and start a new life with my new environment. but i learned he was also studying in the same university. and guess what? i can see him everyday. so how can i forget? everytime i see him, im remembering my feelings and got hurt again. sheesh.

honestly i dont really wish that he’ll also fall for me. its just too impossible. i know it. i just wish that this stupid feelings will disappear. loving him for 4years is definitely the most stupid thing i ever did. it hurts… specially when you know that you wont get anything after a very long time.

(Screen) Name: cucumber