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|He's Cute, He's Funny, He Turns You on...|
And He's Your Boyfriend's Best Friend!
's friend have a thing for each other.
Being in a relationship does not mean that you will no longer find other people attractive. But what happens when the person you happen to find attractive is your boyfriend's best friend?
This is actually a very common thing that happens to a lot of people. Many women find their boyfriend's best or very close friend attractive not due to their looks, but because the time they spend with them. As your boyfriend's girlfriend, you will naturally be introduced to his friends and get to know them. It is common to discover that you and your boyfriend's good friend have a lot in common as well and the more time you spend together, the more attractive he becomes to you. If he were just another guy you passed by on the street, you may have noticed his good looks, but you have not have thought him twice after that. Your boyfriend's friend however, is someone you see more of and interact with socially.
What happens if your boyfriend's good friend also finds you attractive and in time you realize that you two are flirting with each other? Is it something deeper than it appears on the surface? Are you two falling for each other? While this is always possible, majority of the times it has nothing to do with actual love. Usually a man's girlfriend and his good friend will find themselves drawn to each other because of the circumstances. Something about the sinful circumstance makes it very exciting and usually it does not mean more than this. You are not bad for finding your boyfriend's friend attractive, but it is best to just leave it at that and not play with fire. After all, how would you feel if things were the other way around where your boyfriend and your good friend felt sexually/romantically drawn to each other?
The best you can do if you find yourself in this situation is to avoid spending time alone with your boyfriend's friend this way you will not set yourself up to make a mistake you will most likely deeply regret later. You are obviously with your boyfriend in the first place because you care about him and want to be with him, so do not play head games with yourself and gamble your relationship for a silly temptation. We all have urges that we sometimes want to give in to, but it does not mean we do it. You have to think about what is best for you and your relationship, if you truly cherish your relationship. If your boyfriend's friend get aggressive and tried making a move on you or tried talking you into messing around, then be the one with the better head on your shoulders. Tell him that you think he's great and you are happy that you were able to make a new friend, but that is all you want to be- friends. Make it clear that you love your boyfriend and let him see that whenever you all happen to be together hanging out.
What if I end up having serious feelings for his Friend?
If you discover that the feelings between you and your boyfriend's friend are serious and it is indeed love, then you have a complicated situation on your hands. You should not stay with your boyfriend out of guilt, as it is not fair to you or him. However, you should not just break up with him and then jump into a relationship with his close friend either. The best thing you can do in a situation like this is to break up with your boyfriend and let him know that you feel like you two have grown apart and you feel you are at a place where you still have some exploring to do. Tell him that he has not done anything wrong and this is about you and your personal feelings and journey. Then take some time apart from each other and tell his friend to keep things quiet and not tell him anything yet. After a good amount of time goes by, you and his friend can then start seeing each other and come out in the open about your relationship. When asked, tell your boyfriend (or now ex-boyfriend at this point) that during your relationship, you and his friend also became good friends and over time discovered that you had a lot in common and are interested in each other now. Tell him that there was nothing going on when you two were together and nothing serious is going on now, but you two just want to spend some together and see what happens.
He will be hurt, but in time he will most likely get over it and move to someone else too. It is also a possibility that he may stay bitter for a very long time about this and not want to talk to either of you, so you two are going to have to decide whether all this is truly worth it.
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