Purged Too Many Times

Like many I began wearing my sister’s panties and slips when I was 10 or 11.  Through out my life and kept dressing trying more things such as bras, skirts, blouses etc.  But I have tried to stop and on at least 3 occasions ave purged my clothes.  So mad about that as I have some really lovely and sexy things.  Now that I am in my 50s I have come to realize that I do really enjoy it and am accepting and embracing even more.

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Dressed up as girl

my female cousin who was two years older than me was visiting us. One afternoon she and my mom went out. I walked passed her room and spotted a pair of lavender panties in her suitcase. I went to my room, undressed and slid my new found silky panties slowly on my body. I had an instant erection. I relived myself and put the panties back where I found them. My best friend, Chad and I were at his house. I said I have a secret. When I told him he said did you feel girly with them on? I admitted I did. He left and returned with a pair of his sisters panties. Undress and put them on. I did and he said so girl can you do your girly duty? What do yo mean I asked. Touch my dick. I did and he had a hard on and I did what he asked and put my mouth over it. I sucked him and did what he asked and swallowed his thick juices. That was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. I ended up dressing up more and more as a girl with him

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Cousins

Okay before anything, I’m gonna clarify certain things. This man I’m gonna confess about, is my cousin which I only started to get close to during my teenage years .My childhood is spent without him.So here goes,

2006,during my final term school holiday which is about November,i met him, my cousin for the first time in many years. I was 12 going 13 while he is 18.things were quite normal but not how cousins were normally expect to behave ard each other . pecks on the cheek , forhead.slowing becaming smooches but no sex.he was wif someone back den , so am i.this goes on a 3years.imagine aching for someone dat long!p/s we tried avoiding each other,we cant.wenever our eyes met,the sexual tension is too strong.

wen I turn 16 , That’s wen ,I don’t know how,surely because we both ant it so much,we started having sex.it was out of the world ,really.i mean  (saving the detail for another time) somehow we are not really together. we both have our partner.

Finally I got married,i stopped trying to want him .its hard.but its right.long story short,my husband cheated on me,and I called him.the first person I call.it started out innocent enuf.and then sex.this time,its different.he put me first.making me feel dat I am really with him.im still staying wif my husband den.

the woman hes with,is not our country resident,which make the son they had together not a resident of our country too since they are not married.to save that situation,the eventually tie the knot.

I was the first he told the decision to,with teary eyes….and guess wat?our affair is still going on….I am with someone now.trying to avoid him…but at times,i feel as if I’m gonna falter…..

is this love?has fate decided that we are not to be with each other?if so, why do are we having this strong feelings?????

 

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First Love Shit

Here I want to write my Love-fling-story.

I am a girl at the age of 27 years, At the age of 22year I madly fell in love with My Teacher , She was outstanding, gorgeous,breathtakingly beautiful. I was in the second semester I even didn’t know that it is just a fling or attraction or any kind of serious love shit. She lived at the same hostel which was allotted to us. I never ever get the chance to talk to her actually everybody thinks that she is bloody egotistical and eccentric person. She didn’t talk student outside from the classroom etc. Anyway, I was just happy by seeing her  in corridors, another class room , teacher rooms etc. I never very eager to talk to her actually I get nervous when I see her, she was a perfect woman of any bodies. She was in her 28 or 29 years , with sharp and edgy figure and a beautiful face which is adorable. She has a huge fan following and I am one of them.

One lucky day the announcement was done that all the second-semester girls have to meet in the room number 205 for discussion of the annual festival. After finishing our meal all the hostel girl of the second semester gather downstair and I was way behind from them because I didn’t like the festival,dance,singing etc. When every body stuffed in that room I was standing at the door line I just don’t want to listen what the seniors want to say. I was standing at the minute later I heard the sound which was a bit familiar my heart was started to pound I managed some gap and able to saw that the women of my dream is to sit on the right angle to me I was shocked that the room was her . Again I don’t have anything to say on that discussion that why i remain to hide in the crowd . The d- day came and i have some responsibility like anchoring and some small role in play. In the preparation of the annual fest I came to know her little more , we had some discussion regarding my role in fest. As I was one of my sems topper so I was known   by faculty members. She treated me nicely and I was like over the cloud that she talks me so nicely and i was not sure why every second person doesn’t like her.  However, I was enjoying my portion of getting notice by the Teacher . I like when she talks, I get nervous when she touched me , I like that she convey all the message via me . After completing the second semster and in result i was the topper and luckily the same teacher was not allotted for teaching one subject. And I get special attention as every topper get . She talks me , She also like when i asked something to her, In one word we were become sort of friends . She sometimes kissed on my chicks (as my friends say I am kinda cute).

It all started at the day, We had an agreement that at the end of day i will meet her and We will share how the day goes and what we should or could did. One particular day I was got late and reached in her room her room was lock from inside I knocked and after sometime she opened the door and she was angry at me. I was trying to uplift her and in that way, i kissed her chicks , forehead , chin and nearby area of ears . She was very angry at that time I was trying to my level best to uplift her . She started to cry and i was not able to understand why she was crying , I hugged her and after some time she revealed me that she was in a relationship and relationship was last for 8 year and after that, the boy’s family was not convinced for their marriage  and they have to break their relation. She was very fragile at that time.I console her and I was not sure what to say and I am very bad at the wording . I only hugged her and I sleepover at that night hugging her . It was turning point in our life she finds a friend in her life and I was happy that i get her attention. It was my daily ritual to met her.

Now I was in the fourth semester, One night i won a bet and in return, she had to kissed me . I was lying on a bet and she came and kissed my chick and after she placed her lips on mine. It was so quick i didn’t get it and was silent I had no words to say anything after some time she placed her lips on mine and it was my first kiss I was not aware what I have to do but it felt nice and I don’t know where i came I started to replicate her steps and it was nice french smooch. Then suddenly she parted away and feel guilt for the act but i was hugging her from the backside.

After that day things changed we become friend with benefit, From her i learned many things and one thing is this. After two-year, she left the college and married to Man. As we both knows that our relationship has no future.

After 4 years, we broke all the contact because it was hard for me to see her in another life and she was busy in her life and I missed her badly and I don’t feel that she missed me. It creates a bad impression upon me and I don’t want to love another person. I feel that she used me as a replacement. And I have a bitter feeling for everyone . I don’t know should I clear my doubt ? or I leave my past and move forward?

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“The love of my life”

I never thought I will fall in love to an attractive ,a very intelligent and humble guy. Way back then, when I was grade 7. I have classmate name Jink. The first time i laid my eyes on him, i know i’m attracted to him. Until one day , one of my classmate use my phone because she will text someone then after a while there is someone texted on me and it is unknown number. Then I ask ” who are you?” then he answer “Jink..”. Then our love story started their. I have a bestfriend Yla and Yan. They are myclose friend. One day i didn’t expect what my bffs did. They ask to borrow my phone because they will text someone . Tommorow i ask why he didnt text at me and i was shocked of his ans. ” i thought we broke up”. i try to explained to him but he is deaf to hear it. And after so many years i’m still in love to him.

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Head over heels for an actress in the show: My little pony

I’m head over heels with a Canadian voice actress and I am in the united states.  Her name is Andrea Libman and at first it was just a crush, but then it became something more. I heard she’s going to Baltimore for this years Bronycon. I won’t be able to go since I am so far away, unless she wants to come get me which is very unlikely, and because I have social anxiety.  She has many fans who attempt to get her attention online and some of them have even written her post mail.  I write her online.

I hope that someday we can both meet each other and hang out. Then I either want to go with her to Canada or she will stay with me in the United States.  She goes almost everywhere in the usa, so it would make a lot of sense for her to perhaps live here.  Also, her birthday is coming up.  I have no money so I am planning on getting her something for free and put it on her page.  I hope she likes it.

I’m not sure when we’ll meet face to face, but when we do, I hope that I’ll be prepared to face her and I hope I don’t make a fool out of myself.  She’s just so cute and adorable.  I’m  guessing maybe one day, she’ll pop up at my house just as her character, Pinkie does everywhere in the show.  That would be funny.

Please remember me Andrea Libman.  I hope you have a great time at Bronycon and please watch for a special free gift on your birthday.

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Still think of him

I still think of him. So many years of my life spent wondering what could have been. Endless nights dreaming of his touch on mine. So much of my wasted time.

Was he my first love? Married to what I call my soul mate. But could we have more than one…

I can’t help all these years later to wander to our times together. No closure. No answers. You never knew how I truly felt. But would you have cared. I have become a master at lying to myself. I have said it so often I almost forget any other way to be.  Almost…

 

Than the memories trickle in. Times to be forgotten. Times with you I pushed away to never let myself feel again. Illicit experiences. Not even I can tell myself why I let you inside that part of me. Not even I know why I could never believe them when they said you were no good for me.

Abuse torture manipulation. You tied me so permanently to that string my puppet master. All those years I danced for you. Now ruined and unable to dance for any other man. Every time I tried to run with the knife, and I looked up only to find I had tied the knot tighter. A part of that string that can never be undone. Poison leading right to my soul.

I remember so many things about you. I can’t help but ask myself if any of it was real. Or was it just a beautiful ballad I had written for myself. Although I am terrified to answer myself the whisper surrounds me. Like a cold wet winters night that no fire will ever melt.

You remain my muse. My one and only inspiration. And while no one has ever ripped me to shreds quite like you, no one will ever sew me together as only your needle can.

I still remember your phone number. Made to delete it. Smiled and said I was willing. Promises I made that I must keep. A play so well written that to be believed as my life depends on it. Secretly the numbers permanently etched in stone so that neither time nor my lies could scratch them away.

Our memories are now like security blankets children are traumatically attached to. I am so terrified to lose you. These last remaining pieces I must treasure and hide deep in my soul. No one can ever know I kept you. As if my house had burned down and you were the only thing I needed to save.

Now left with only words on a screen. not only never being able to speak to you, but not to be able to speak of you either. Yet you remain forever and always my muse. First love?

I will wander the desert of time seeking you in the next life if only to whisper these words to you. Perhaps they are the knotted string. Maybe that’s why I could never see the truth of you and how you debilitated my soul. I would rather walk the oceans and deserts of time seeking knowing I will never find you. Secretly finding solace in my knots.

Its almost as if my mortality depends on each intricately placed knot. I used to think you tied each and every one. I look back and see now that you only handed me the string. And to know now that I know the steps to unravel them yet choose to continue strengthening the rope.  What does that say about me?

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I cheated

Well there is this boy i love and his brother asked me out ii couldn’t help :self one day we kissed and 2 months later we started dating i dated both the brothers while i dated 2 of their friends and i regret it coz i love this boy not his brother nor his friends but what made me do all of that was coz he was cheating on me with alto of girl they even stand in front off the gate at home if only he knew how much i loved him

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feeling bad

i have seen my friends breaking up..i never talked about this issue with the boy but the girl is really upset and she is my bestfriend and shares everything with me .she never lost her hope that would patch up sometime later but its of no use now. i hope the boy understands this and unites together.i will be the most happy person in my life.

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