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Love Story: Not Mine

By: Sage

I met a guy. That's always where it starts. In a new relationship it's hard to know what to expect. I was friends with this guy for a few months so I knew I might be getting into something that I wasn't prepared for. Turns out I was more right than I ever have been.

 We both attend the same University and live in the same building. We became fast friends and started spending a lot of time together. Then one night (or morning). It could have been past midnight) I revealed that I had feelings for him. I was immediately expecting to be turned down because he is what most people would call, "out of my league". Turns out he had already noticed I was interested and responded to my flirtations more than I had realized. So, we decided to give things a try!

 One week later is when everything went to pieces. We had been having a wonderful day. We took a walk over to Wal-Mart for some college student supplies (cheez-its and energy drinks) with a few of our mutual friends. On the way back we stopped at the park and had a fun time pretending to be kings and queens of warring castles. Devan was my king and he always managed to rescue me in the tower of the colorful plastic castle and give me a quick kiss before any of our friends (all guys) could comment on it. We all walked slowly back to campus. Devan and I trailed behind because we got stuck waiting for some cars to pass before we could cross the street.

"I need to talk to you. But I didn't want to pull you aside and make you worry that I might be trying to break up with you or something. One of those "we need to talk" conversations you know?" He wasn't making any sense but I could see that he had something important to say and that I should let him continue. "I told you about Amber right?" Amber was the girl he dated before me. I didn't know much about her but I nodded an anyway. "She's pregnant and it's probably mine." I stopped. It wasn't like we were in the middle of the street so I was safe. He took a few steps forward and looked back at me.

"Seriously?" Like he would lie about something like this! He just nodded. We walked the rest of the way back to the dorm building in silence. I took hold of his hand and didn't let go until we were in the building and making our way up the stairs. We went to my room because it was a weekend and my roommate was gone. We laid down and just enjoyed each other's presence. Thinking, breathing, dreaming.

"I'm not going to leave you because of this." (I already knew I loved him even thought I hadn't mentioned that yet.) "But if you're going to leave me...(I paused because I didn't want my voice to crack)...then please do it now."

"No, no, no." He reassured me that Amber and him no longer loved each other and that both of them were happier now than they ever were together.

So here starts the most intense part of my life.

I didn't know what to think so I told a few friends (friends that didn't know Devan and wouldn't spread this all around). They didn't know either. I knew I love him but...a kid? I didn't know if I could do this. Then instead of asking me what I thought, a friend of mine asked me how I felt. I paused, unused to the question.

I love Devan. But this kid, this little boy, is going to be proof that Devan loved someone else at some point. It's going to be half HER. But it is also going to be half Devan. Half Devan? Any part of Devan is good enough for me. Wait...what? I love Devan so much...

"Devan, I want you to know something. But I only want to tell you if you'll listen."

"I'm listening"

"I found out just how much I love you the other day. I love you so much, That I love him too."