We have all heard these classic sayings before: “what goes around, comes around”, “what you see is what you get” and “you get what you give”.
Sure, these sayings get preached over and over again with creative different wordings and twists to the point that they have become cliché and even tiring for us to hear. I agree! However, there is a reason these get preached over and over again and that is because most of us need constant reminders and well- some of us just can’t bring ourselves to truly apply these wise teachings into our lives.
We want to get it right and achieve successful love, really we do- but our emotions and mind games always mess with us from doing what we already know deep down is right. Not to mention our pride, our greatest enemy when it comes to our dating and love lives.
So here is the infamous saying one more time for you to read, digest and remember the next time you feel frustrated and catch yourself scratching your head as to why you are not having the relationship success you want: You Get What You Give.
Really, it’s true. Oftentimes, we focus on what we are getting or not getting in a relationship and never really bother to back track and see what we may have done to receive what we are getting. Sure, there are times when life is just unfair and we get taken for granted for and advantage of, but for the most part- we are having the type of relationship we have created with someone else and brought upon ourselves.
Even in the cases in which we are being taken for granted- it is also because we are doing something to bring that on. If someone is taking you for granted or using you, for example- it is because you are presenting yourself in such a way that makes people feel like they can treat you that way. It may sound cold and mean- but we do receive majority of bad behavior from our partners simply because we have given them permission to. Face it, if you truly would not accept being taken for granted- they would never have the chance to do it and hurt you because you just would not be around to allow them to do so.
In other words, we are, most of the time, in control of how we are treated by others in the dating world (and in other fields of our lives). If you treat people you date kindly, with respectl and consideration to their feelings, chances are you will get the exact back from them. However, if you are really good to someone and they give you nothing in return but you continue to stick around- just remember that you have given them the message and green light to go ahead and treat you negatively and they can still count on you to stay. So remember- this is not just what you give to others in order to get what you want in return, but also about what you give yourself.
Written by Alina van Jenni