It was the first day in seventh grade when I saw him, I ll call him Brandon, when we where assigned sets together. I thought he was cute and I had a feeling like something was going to happen even thought I was getting over my last sort of boyfriend (because we are not allowed to date) for 2 years who had said that he had loved me more than anyone moved away. A couple days when by and I would come up to him and make small talk and when ever I passed threw him in the hallways we would smile at each other and I butterflies in my stomach, no one has ever made me feel like that. About two weeks later when by when my best friend, who actually turned out to be a jerk later on unlit I cut the plug on our friend ship, came up to him when I was sick asked him if he liked me and he said maybe then she said “ok ill tell her that then” but then as she was walking off he apparently said “yes I do”. The message spread to me eventually when I came back to school and every thing when down hill from there when two of my best friends lineally dragged me to him so he could say it to me and he did but I kept saying no you don’t. We went back and froth for awhile and he just smiled at me the whole time, I don’t know what held me back but I feel like I just couldn’t really deal with another guy because I have felt heart broken before and I didn’t want to feel it again because when you do it feels like you have lost every thing, or at least it feels like that to me.  Ever since then Brandon would stare at me and I knew it was me because we could make eye contact but my jerk friend would come and sit next to me and say things like “OMG he’s staring at ME” and she would to that for a long like and she know that I liked him! Then he started acting like a jerk to, I am only going to say couple of thing he has said or I will start blabbing on about every thing and that would take a wile.

One time my friend when up to him and they said “why do you keep being so mean to her” and he said “because its fun to watch her be so upset” then when I herd about this I burst in to tears. The next day my jerk friend called him over to us and she said that I cried over him and he threw his hands up in the air and said “Yes!!!” like it was some great victory. A few months later he tried to hit of my jerk friend who had become my ex jerk friend because keep trying to spread rumors to my friend that I am manipulating them in to being my frainds. About one moth later I went to Europe and came back to find out that that he got a girlfriend who was actually a really nice girl but then when ever I would pass him in the hallway he would smile at me. I am so confused I don’t like him any more but I am attracted to him even though i dont want to be.  Should I just leave things the way they are or should I do something? Is what happened to he my m own fault?

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