I married a man half my age. Practically he would have been my son. The courtship was whirlwind. Even to this day I couldn’t believe it happened. But here I am writing my experience so it must be real. Going through the secret ceremony was embarrassing as the Judge looked at us intently and asked my husband several times if he really wanted to do it. And several times he answered with a firm yes. Our witnesses are unknown to us. I got two dorm mates, one from Pampanga and the other from Palawan, while my husband got his roommate in Quirino and another close friend from Naga City. After taking some informal shots to document the occasion, we ate at some fancy restaurant at Robinson Malate and then all parties wished us well and then we parted.
My husband got us a room with some furniture and one kitchen showcase composed of a fridge and a stove. The room was small we can hardly move simultaneously without filling up the space but the bedroom has enough space and our bed is queen-sized. For brand new and young husband it was all we need for the moment. I was filled with happiness as despite our age gap, he seems to be the more responsible between the two of us particularly in handling our budget as well as time management. He is a good cook too and sometimes I cant help myself but wonder how lucky I am to have him.
The only thing that I almost cannot stand in our new marriage is the intimacy part. My husband no matter how tired in school and at work always demands intimacy every night. And not only once but at most 5 times. For an aging body like mine it was more than I can bear. But my husband is very patient in his preludes that I cannot help my body react to his advances. One irritating moment I recall was when I was on my way to the grocery. Thinking that my husband is still asleep I tried to manage my underwear and brassiere in our bedroom while my husband is asleep facing the wall. But he suddenly turned and saw me almost naked. Without losing time, he got up immediately and started kissing me all over. Before I know it, im already naked in bed making love to him while lunch and grocerying will have to wait until past 3 pm. My husband’s appetite for me is unbelievable. For no reason he would just pop in from our door when I thought he is in school and he would give me this standard hug with approach from behind. He will squeeze me so tight I can hardly breathe. Standard sweet nothings would be: did you miss me? What were you thinking when Im not here. Do you really love me? Or him?
Such question I think is based on very valid premise. My husband’s best friend is my 1st friend before I feel for him. The best friend is good. And I really like him a lot. But the tenderness my husband gave me during flirting stage is the one that really did me in. My ‘lil boy’ as I fondly call him (he doesn’t like this anymore, now) seem to have underestimated his capacity to love or perhaps might be thinking that I am only pretending to love him. The reason why I married him was that I turned positive in my pregnancy test which turned out to be false. We did the test together one early morning and after seeing the two lines signifying positive for pregnancy, I turned so pale and fell to the floor. I cried a lot since that day and refused to be seen by anyone. I’m afraid of the consequences and shame that the pregnancy supposes to bring at my age, and with this boy. Without hesitation he offered marriage right away to stop me from crying everyday. My eyes were all puffy then and I have lost my voice. My sugar went up and all I wanted is to die right away. My husband worried no end too and until I agreed to go with him and have our emergency wedding, he stopped studying for his validation exam which worried me a lot too. I was thinking if I’m gonna die I will die alone and I wont take this man with a great future to my grave. So I consented to his proposal.
To this day im sure my husband is still doubting of how much I love him. Everytime his best friend pay us a visit I sometimes catch him at the corner of my eye looking at both of us intently, seeking for signs that will tell if we are still ‘emotionally’ connected to each other.
I will end this fiction by saying that on the day I signed that emergency marriage application, I know it in my heart that this is the man I am going to live with. I will love him and respect him with all my heart. And despite my weary body, I always offer myself without complaints, so he wont in anyway doubt my devotion towards him.
His face is the last one I wanted to see before I close my eyes and sleep to eternity.

(Screen) Name: mae elle

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