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falling for the one your not supposed to fall for

Posted on : 11-09-2011 | By : Love Story Writer ... | In : Romance Love Story, Secret Love

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This is actually far from over. In Fact, It has only has just begun. I’ve been best friends with this girl since freshman year in high school. Actually, i hated her in the beginning because so was so damn annoying. shes still annoying but thats later. Now we’re freshman in college and shes off at mMizzou in Columbia, Missouri. And me,well, I’m stuck back home in Saint Peters going to the community college. I didn’t do too well in high school. Anyway, over the summer we became distant. she was busy with her boyfriend but mostly i was too busy getting drunk or stoned. she got sick of being around it all the time. and at the time it didn’t bother me because again, i was caught up in things that shouldn’t of mattered. And it came close to the end of the summer and i had a lot of friends leaving town for college so i decided to throw a going away party. that night she broke up with her boyfriend before coming over and we ended up getting pretty drunk. we start flirting. And kissing each others necks.
then next thing i know shes talking to my friend jordan saying she wants to have sex with him. and i get mad. well not just mad, i was furious. and i didn’t know why. I tried justifying it by telling myself i was just drunk. Or that i was just being the brother figure i usually am. but somehow at the end of the night me and her ended up laying in my bed together. we started talking, and she was apologizing for upsetting me. i told her it was ok but joked around, giving her crap for leading me on. and for some odd reason i tell her its probably best we didn’t hook up( not a guy thing to do), and that its better we wait til it means something. then we joke around getting married if we can’t find anyone better. well the joke lasted briefly. it started becoming a reality in my head. i got used to the idea of it. the next morning i woke up to her in my arms. and it was the greatest feeling in the world. it was then i realized i was in trouble. With the alcohol out of my system i knew that this was just more then a drunken sex escapade. that night another friend was having a graduation party. she was there of course. we chatted for a bit. she was getting ready to leave by the time i got there and i told her i needed to tell her something later. so she just me to stop by her house when i was leaving the party. the journey there had obstacles of its own. i stopped by my house to grab a pack of cigarettes, and when i try the start my car it dies. i wait thirty minutes trying to start my car and it finally starts. and then i set my phone in the cup holder where for some reason has a puddle of water. so my phones freaking out and turning on and off. I had to get a hold of her when i got there because her parents were sleeping and she didn’t want to wake them up. so I prayed to god for a miracle. what else was i supposed to do. I don’t know if it was god or just luck but my phone turned on long enough to contact her. and then never came back on. so i end up at her house outside in the fron talking. I’m apologizing to her for not being the friend i should of been. and for getting so mad the other night. and told her she needed to promise me we’ll never loose touch. I did come close to telling her i love her, but it just wouldn’t come out. so i go my separate way for the night. And now for the Third night she comes over after i get back from a family birthday. and once again we lay in my bed together watching movies, intertwining fingers. are bodies were so close at one point we had to take the blanket off. she ended up leaving around two in the morning. and as i watched her drive i realized this girl had stolen my mind. she had opened up my eyes and my life would never be the same again. the following week she went off to college and things calmed down a bit. i just tried to focus on school and work as much as possible. and she’d come home every weekend and things we intensify each time she came back. now its been about a month since this whole conundrum started. Its sunday, September 11th at 2:16 am and two nights ago she came back for Chads birthday and i’m not sure but i think she had sex with jordan the guy from the beginning of this bullshit. now i have no idea what to do. these i don’t feel like a sane man. my mind is tearing itself apart. and i feel like my whole body is giving up on me. i can’t eat. i can’t sleep without dreaming about her so I’ve suppressed myself from falling asleep. my chest aches constantly longing for the brush of her tender,soft hands. I’m in big trouble. but this story does have a happy ending. like i said earlier i barely made it out of high school. college was not on my mind. but now, i’m going to school to be a highschool history teacher. possibly a college professor. and i’ll be heading down to mizzou in the next two years. so maybe its too early in the day to close the chapter on her. all though as of right now shes sleeping with frat guys she doesn’t even know. i don’t think i can stop being in love with her, no matter what she or i does. so we’ll see. we’ve got twelve years to figure it out. thats when we’re getting married.

(Screen) Name: cmanlive

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