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Welcome to the Love Story Blog of Love-Sessions.

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In Silence

Posted on : 02-01-2012 | By : Silence | In : Romance Love Story, Secret Love

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In search of the true one, was always running in my mind. Being the quieter one and finally letting go of the long held emotion, the truth hit like a frost bite. It took so long to accept reality that she was never meant for me, but for someone else whom she had loved and married. Fair enough, life moved on as one thing I had learnt is to keep emotions and life separate.

After all, I am a human being. As time passed by and life flowing through stream, a smile in the corner caught my site finally. The smile of someone with whom I had lost the opportunity of being formally introduced. Once again, being shy, I cared less to act smart. Then came the day, when we got to exchange our names and what we do. Then again, murmuring to myself, this is not you, stop seeing sunlight and so few days pass by.

One fine day, she asks for a favor. The show-off could get the work done easily, totally on his grasp, I say to myself. Then we start talking. She wanted to give me company for a cake I craved for. Time went by and we became closer. We talked and talked, all day, all evening, all night. This goes on.

Excitement hit me, but fear of losing my way stopped me. Then came the sight I couldn’t resist. Right after lunch, I came down and saw her taking small bits of her apple, humming to herself and looking at her monitor. The sight of innocence was what caught me and I readily knew I was in Love.

I still knew she would be leaving in a few months, back home, back from where she came from only for sometime. But that wouldn’t stop me, I was determined. I was confident. But my confidence and determination killed time. I never got the chance of telling her how I felt although I am sure she understood. The confusion lied within me if she had felt the same way and it irritated me more.

My over-estimation and rash attitude of losing her finally led me to the biggest regret of my life. I was never in favor of long distance and the mixed proven fact of her “perhaps not feeling the same way” made me cut off from her. It took me only a bit of time that I had committed the biggest mistake and tried to get in touch with her. I was overburdened with guilt, and I am sure she was overburdened with anger by my foolish crime. She never responded.

I could finally make myself stable with every bit of bitter experience of comparing her with every others I met the last three years. I could never love again, and I stop trying. Just then a text shook me with the click of new year’s excitement. A text from a long lost dear friend, someone I had hurt and regretted.

“Guess you are preparing for new year’s eve. All I wanted to say is that I miss you and now I realize. Keep Smiling”. There was only one name I could think of, only one name I missed so much all these years. A rise in expectations, I rather not. But how can I explain my heart? She did remember me finally, and that should be enough to comfort me, but it is never enough.

I hope to see her once again and apologize, for anything and everything I have done. But do I get to share my feelings with her I carried and carry with me? I don’t know and will I ever know?

(Screen) Name: Silence

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