I met Eric when I was a teenager. He was seventeen and I was fifteen. There was an indescribable connection from the instant our eyes met. My best friend Rachel was dating his best friend Jamie and she introduced him and I. Ever since the day we met the four of us were inseparable,we hung out everyday we talked about everything, a lot of talking.. We’d always hang out at Jamie’s house because his parents were never home, Jamie was the life of the party literally! Eric was super shy. So one day we were over Jamie’s he somehow managed to get Eric to sing along with him and they sang to Rachel and I – You lost that loving feeling.. From the movie Top Gun.. It was the cutest sweetest thing ever, in my eyes.. Not long after that day we found out Eric’s mom and stepfather made the decision to move to Arizona.. We were all sad but he had to go, so the day came for us to see him off at the airport everyone said their goodbyes I was last I gave him a tight hug and said be safe I will miss you as it was his first time flying. I watched him board the plane and I ran into the bathroom and bursted out in tears!! I was crying uncontrollably and I didn’t know why I couldn’t stop.. I left the airport with Rachel & Jamie and we stopped at a local restaurant for some breakfast on our way home. As I was sitting at the table nothing felt right it was just the three of us and Eric was heavy on my mind.. All of a sudden You lost that loving feeling started playing in the restaurant. My heart melted.. It ached so bad for him, that’s when I realized I loved him. I was head over heels in love with Eric and I was going to do everything in my power to bring him home. Later on that night I called his father who lives here in town and asked if he can please have Eric call me.. I was always shy just like him but I needed to say how I feel, I couldn’t lose him. He called, I immediately said I miss you like crazy and I think I’m in love with you! You have to come home! He shyly giggled and said really? I said yes!! He said ok.. Two days later I received a phone call from him around midnight he said he was back home here in NY and was staying with his dad! Words can’t express the excitement I felt inside, then he shyly asked me to be his girl. I will never forget that hot August night of 1993… As time went by Eric wasn’t obeying his fathers rules and getting into Trouble and his father was threatening to send him back to Arizona with his mom, of course he didn’t listen we were teenagers so here we go again, Eric had to leave.. This time Eric was sobbing like a baby holding on to me so tight he didn’t want to leave me, I tried to be strong and said everything will be ok, we will be together no matter what.. We talked on the phone long distance every night for hours and hours for about a month until I saved up enough money for a train ticket to go see him! My parents were totally against the idea of their now 16 year old daughter traveling all alone on a train for almost three days and 3,000 miles away but I didn’t care. I was going and nothing was stopping me!! It was my first time traveling anywhere, I went through many obstacles to get to him.. My train hit a mail truck, derailed, had a four hour lay over in a strange city, all alone, I didn’t have a cell at that time.. I finally arrived in Arizona hours and hours late and I was so scared when I was all alone in the terminal not a person in sight considering it was like 2am. I just dropped my suitcase on the ground and sat on it and cried.. I looked up and he was standing about 12 feet from me smiling, I jumped up and just ran into his arms and cried.. I felt like I was in a romantic movie for a minute..Arizona was so beautiful actually breath taking I liked it so much I didn’t want to leave. Instead of staying for a week like I was suppose to I stayed a month with my parents angry and calling everyday to get home… It was time for me to leave and Eric didn’t want to let me go again, so he decided to quit his job and come home with me! We arrived back in Ny so in love and happy but just teens with no care in the world.. Eric needed a job so my father took him in an employed him at our restaurant we owned. He made pizza’s and I worked there too making subs. We were the cutest couple ever, I liked to think.. We had silly names for each other he didn’t like mayonnaise or tomatoes or onions on his ham subs, so he was my No mayonnaise, No tomato, No onion! I made friends with a local disc jockey on a radio station from always calling in and requesting songs that when he was mad at me I’d have the DJ say this is going out to Eric you’re her No mayonnaise,No tomato,No onion. Then one cold November night my life changed.. I was having horrible pains in my stomach and Eric rushed me to the ER.. The doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with me he ran a lot of blood tests and said we needed to wait an hour for the blood to come back.. We patiently waited.. He came into the room and said congratulations you’re going to be a father to Eric. What?!! I think both of our faces turned pale white, I don’t know who was going to faint first. All I kept thinking was oh my god my father is going to be devastated being the old school Sicilian that he is. I was terrified, Eric was surprisingly happy.. I was to scared to tell my parents. So I made Eric go to my father and tell him.. It went something like this- I got your daughter pregnant, but I love her and want to be with her and will take care of her for the rest of my life. My dad was like ok. Even though he was upset and didn’t like that his 16 year old was pregnant he excepted it and respected Eric. My mom was pissed didn’t like the idea at all… I was torn. Scared.. Ashamed.. All the above.. My mom was pressuring me to get rid of the baby.. I didn’t know what to do. Eric was scared I think, but was happy he was going to be a dad. Then that day came… The day that will haunt me for the rest of my life. My mother made an appointment to terminate the pregnancy and because I was only 16 I really didn’t have a choice at that time.. I’ll never forget the look on Eric’s face when he came to my door the day I had to tell him I wasn’t keeping our baby.. He looked me in the face and started crying and just ran out the door.. He jumped on a plane the next day and never said goodbye, never let me explain… Nothing.. He went back to Arizona and his mom changed their phone number. I finally got ahold of him and cried and begged him to forgive me, his mother called me a murderer it was just very devastating.. Months and months went by and I was dying inside I loved Eric more then anything in this world and did everything in my power to bring him back to me.. Almost a year went by and I wasn’t myself.. Wasn’t eating, sleeping, socializing with friends, I had really long hair, I cut it all off up to my neck like bob style.. I was in such a deep depression. I remember calling him one night and him telling me he was going to go out on a date with a girl from his moms work. That was like a knife in my heart.. So one day my friends were like enough is enough and got me out of the house and took me to a party where I met JR. He was nice. But I wasn’t interested.. There was only one man for me.. Eric.. Well JR. Kept on & on pursuing me to the point where I just said fine! And gave in. We started dating it took me a while and when I finally accepted Eric not coming back I pursued my relationship with JR. I got pregnant right away. I was about three months pregnant and it was another hot August day when I got a knock at the door! Guess who? It was Eric & Jamie & Rachel! Eric came home to visit and wanted to see me.. So I went with them to the county fair. Eric & I sat in the car and talked and he basically came back for me!! I had to look him in the eyes and tell him I was pregnant with another mans baby.. He looked crushed. I also lied right to his face and told him I didn’t love him anymore… I thought it was the right thing to do. Even though I loved him and longed for him with everything inside me I had to think about the life I had growing inside me. Eric & I talked on the phone a lot during my entire pregnancy.. We always kept in touch. It was April 1995 my beautiful daughter was born.. About two weeks after I got another knock at the door.. Guess who? It was Eric. He flew home. He asked if he can come in and see the baby.. He asked to hold her. He smiled and held her in his arms. It was a very short visit. Before he left he asked for a picture of my daughter & I. That was the last time I ever seen Eric….. We kept in touch here & there until about 2000. Then his phone calls stopped. I got word that he was getting married to an older woman about seven years older then I. I lost it. I went crazy, I tried everything in my power to reach him. I tried to stop the wedding. But he wouldn’t talk to me. All I know is he has a son and he is married. But I’ve never stop thinking about him or loving him still to this day.. I constantly pray to god that I will see his face or talk to him once again.. My life has never been the same since him.. I’ve never been able to feel or love any other man. I live with constant anxiety everyday of my life. I am not the same. And probably never will be. I’m not complete or whole. Eric holds the key to my heart, and I don’t understand why I can’t let go after all of this time. I talk about him all the time to my daughter who is now seventeen..she knows all about the greatest love of my life, and wishes someday to meet this Eric I speak so much about. It’s so weird that when I look into her eyes I see him at times…how is that even remotely possible?.. My heart will always long and ache for him until the day we meet again….My Soulmate..

(Screen) Name: NikkiXoxo

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