I always thought that the one that got away, or the long lost high school love would ever come back in my life until the day he found me again. I’m positive that it was not by chance or luck..but rather now I believe in fate or destiny was a key player. It was there all the time, signs and clues…but I didn’t understand them, I didn’t know what it meant till now. Now reflecting on all the little signs that was there all along I feel at times jealous and robbed of what could have been or rather should have been. Instead someone else was loving and living the life with Dean that I should have had all along. My biggest regret when I die will be that I failed to pay attention to those signs and go with my instincts and to ignore the fears. It only took me 17 years to finally ignore them and take the long leap of faith when the words came over a small chat window. It was him….it was Dean. After ignoring his plea to join the Navy with him…and failing to reply to a lost love letter…there he was again. We had both married, had kids and had spouses that failed us. I understand it was because it was supposed to be this way. Even though it is later in life that this took place, I have to believe their is a solid reason why it has. Sitting at my computer..wondering where my life would end up, I wondered how Dean was doing, if he was happy or still married, and I thought what if I had taken that leap…gosh what if. I take a deep breath knowing….just knowing that my whole world, my whole life would have been different. And so…he started to ask how I was. I’m not sure exactly what exact words he said in the beginning…but when I said I was divorced and alone, lonely and wondering what to do….I could almost feel like him reaching me through the computer and then conveyed words I never thought I’d see a man ever tell me. He said….”I’ve always loved you, I’ve loved you as long as I can remember and always wondered about you. I’ve never stopped loving you.” I think when I read this I stopped breathing for a minute,taking it all in. Overwhelmed,excited,in awe. I felt something at that very moment…something in me changed instantly. I don’t know if I can even explain it its like chemical or pyschological…that instantly linked me to Dean. I swore to myself at that moment to not ignore him again, to put any fears or thoughts that may come up on a shelf for good, to just go with it. Dean and I talked more and it was like opening a new door. I felt this spark inside me again start to burn. The essence of my life was back. Instantly Dean gave me meaning to living. I had two children and love them dearly, but it wasn’t enough sadly. I needed this, I needed Dean. In listening to him..I began to see he needed me all along too. We found through converstations that started through the internet and then by phone what those ‘missed’ signs were. we found that we had known each other as little kids, whom just happened to be in the same place at the same time. Like ships passing each other, only ending up in the same place and time again and again. When we tried to make an attempt at a connection…something else was preventing it, trying to de-rail fate. That something was Fear. It won the first round. Coming back to the present,thru the beauty of technology I bought a web cam and we skyped for the first time. Time had changed both our looks since high school,but it didn’t matter. When I saw his eyes they were the same. When I looked in them, I loved him instantly. I knew he was my soul mate, the one that I thought had gone away…that I would always wonder about and hoped to reconnect with. The one that I want to spend my forever with without a single fear. It wasn’t long before we planned our first weekend, where he flew in to see me for the first time in that seventeen years. I was so excited that day waiting in the airport I thought I’d faint. It was everything I ever hoped for and then some. Shortly after that wonderful weekend…I decided to take a gigantic leap with no regrets and to pick up my whole life and children and move across the country to be with him. I couldn’t bare another minute without him anymore. Seventeen years had already been robbed and was too long. I had and have alot making up to do. Everyday is fantastic now cause no longer do I wonder. No longer do I sit a computer longing for Dean. I see his eyes everymorning and everynight. No more fears, no more nightmares. Every moment I am touched by Dean is a gift, every day is a reward. I did not believe in soul mates before I met Dean. But after the many converstations and the missed signs, I realize now it does and can exist. I’m not sure that everyone has a soul mate, perhaps only those who where chosen to have one. I feel fortunate and lucky I was chosen. Dean chose me, and I chose him. Forever.

(Screen) Name: myDean34