Innocent love. That’s what I held in my heart for her. My heart fluttered every time I saw her. I remember the way her chocolate hair flowed in the wind, cascading across her shoulders. I remember how she would do the most awkward things, how color filled her beautiful cheeks. I remember the fireball she was, how endlessly loving and enthusiastic she was.

 But I also remember how I noticed these things; sad things. I remember how I could tell if her smile was fake by the twitch in the corner of her mouth. I remember how my heart broke as I helplessly watched her deal anxiety. I remember how she would always wear shorts that covered her thighs. I remember how she would break down, how she would hate herself.

 I remember the day that I told her about my suicide attempt and she told me about her’s. I remember how I cried with her. I remember letting her down, I remember picking her up. I remember how we hugged that first time I saw her after she had gotten out of the hospital. I remember how she was the only reason why I did not kill myself. I hope I was her reason.

 I remember that day at school where the lunch table was full and she asked if I wanted to sit on her lap. I remember how I internally freaked out and awkwardly declined.  

 The thing is, I have only known this woman for a year but I want to truly get to know her. I want to learn her pet peeves, I want her to tell me her life story and rant. I want to help her. I want her to truly believe and know that I couldn’t imagine the world without her. I want her to know these things that I can’t put into words. I could think for hours and not find out the right mixture of 26 letters to express how important she is to me. I won’t ever be able to understand how such an amazing person could hate herself and want to end herself. I want to be there for her, to break any of those lies.

 Because I’m in love with her. I’m in love with her personality, her scars, and who she is. I wouldn’t change a thing on that astounding woman.

 I am innocently in love with her. I want to fall asleep beside her, to brush the strands of deep brown hair out of her eyes. I want her to feel loved. I want to be the one that fixes the future and puts a peace of mind on the past. I want to be her first love.

 I love her. I love the way her eyes have so much depth. I love the choker that wraps around the base of her tanned neck. I love her true smile, how it perfectly fits in her complexion. I love her figure, regardless of society’s standards. I love the little bows she expertly weaves into her hair. I love the way she can make anyone smile. I love her weird nature, how she isn’t afraid to be herself. I love her story, how it proves how strong and amazing she really is.

 I want to brush my hand across her cheek and kiss her. I want to make up for all the times she felt worthless. I need to make her realize how much better she is compared to these illnesses.

   I want to make her feel wanted.

   I want to be her first love.

When I started high school there was a second year boy in my registration class. (I am female, just to clarify). I becamecloser to him, as a friend, until I realised I liked him. One Friday in the library, at the end of lunch time, I worked up the courage to ask him out. Unfortunately, he said no. I was,of course, upset and I felt really rejected. He didn’t talk to me much after that.
At the time there was a third year girl I was friends with at the time. She was openly gay and had a girlfriend.
The week after being rejected by the boy I liked, I felt less sad. I was getting over it.
On my Ask account, I got an anonymous message. Here’s my conversation with the anon.
anon: you’re really pretty.
me: aww thank you! Who is this?
anon: I can’t tell you. I just wanted to make you smile. You have a nice smile.
me: thank you!!!! Promise me you’ll tell me who you are?
anon: I promise.
me:pinkie swear?
The anonymous person didn’t answer.
But later I was talking to the girl (Her name is Erin) and she came out with “pinkie swear”.
She later told me that she’d ask me out if I wasn’t straight. But I told her that if she wanted to, she could.
So she asked me out after her exams..
Guess what I said?

(Screen) Name: Lolo Ruii Torres

“Serendipity is a propensity for making fortunate discoveries while looking for something unrelated”

I considered my love story as a serendipity love. I don’t believe in long-distance relationship, but i guess, what you really don’t like or don’t believe will come back on you. When I joined IMVU, I never intended to find a girlfriend or to be in a relationship even just for fun because I never think of love as a game. I was on IMVU just to meet new people and find more friends all around the globe.

Denisse is not my first girlfriend, nor my first long-distance relationship. (I’m not a fan of a long-distance relationship okey, it just happened haha)

I’ve been on IMVU (avatars and online chat in 3D) for almost two months when I first met her.(Take note everyone, what I’m about to tell is happened on IMVU). She didn’t impress me when we first met (I don’t think I impress her also haha), probably because she didn’t talk much. She was new on IMVU (not that new tho). At that time, I got my own circle of friend, and I ‘hang-out’ (online) almost all the time with them. Denisse is belong to my ‘other’ circle of friend, including my sister (online sister) who is a ‘vampire’. (I’m not a vampire, so is Denisse).

I wish I can retrieve everything that is related to me and Denisse on IMVU cause I really wanted to know, how our relationship can grew like now hehe.I always tease her. I asked her to kiss me, then she’ll replied me, ‘on cheek?” and I will said “no”, then she’ll asked me again “hands?” and I’ll answered back ‘not on hands not on forehead’ and at the end she’ll said “sere is crazy’. (I didn’t get the kiss that i wanted, just a peck kiss). I ‘tackles’ her too (she did the same to me). Well I don’t think we will do that in real life or someone will end up sitting on a wheelchair haha.I argue with her, and always fight.I don’t know how or when it started, but she somehow always made me mad and I don’t easily get mad. Get mad here is in the other word is jealous. When she talked to another guy, I felt left-out. One thing that made me pissed also is when I wanted to dance with her, she’ll moved away (damn haha), then I will asked my sister and the other vampire to bite her! (They didn’t do it tho. They’ll always laughed at us)

Yes, I fell in love with her first and I don’t think she think me the way I think about her. Why? Because she’s straight! Yes, I am a girl, and I like girl. I asked her to go out with me, but she’s so crazy that she think I was kidding (I don’t blame her, cause I kid and joke around a lots). One day, when she was around and so is our other friends, I said to them how Denisse always decline me and she asked me “are you really serious?” and I said “Yes” and she said “I thought you were playing” and I said “of course not”. She said yes, and oh wow, I am so happy. I ended up telling everyone that she finally agree to go on a date with me.haha.I can’t wait for tomorrow.

The next day, we met, just me and her (in a public place of course). I told her I was really happy that she finally agree to go on a date with me. Guess what? I was totally pissed off when she said “well, nothing wrong to go on a date with friend right?” .(speechless). “Date as a friend?” I asked her. She said yes. “Who go on a date as a friend?”. She apologized to me after (she still didn’t realized that I like her…geeezz -she is crazy- ) haha.

I told my sister about it and she laughed at me (she knew I like Denisse), same goes to some of my friends, then after that, when I met Denisse, I will always tease her “date as a friend huh?”. I gave up then. (Cause I don’t think she’ll like me; she’s straight, remember?)

Then in real life, I’m having a busy week with University (assignments: 7 of them). I said goodbye to all my friends on IMVU (for a while of course). I spent my last day there with Denisse, Claire and Pink. (It was like a second date as a friend with Denisse tho haha). Turned out to be one of the best time I’m on IMVU. Four of us having fun at the theme park and at the ice cream shop! Then I say goodbye.

I don’t online on IMVU but I still kept checking on my messages. I’m not a stalker, but I knew the time when she’ll be on, so I will send her messages and she’ll replied. She pissed me off again when she always replied it late >.< .. during this time also, I realized that I do really like her. I told her I miss her, she told me she misses me too. (isn't that sweet?) hehe Almost two weeks off from IMVU, I am back again. I made a video for her birthday (anything for love huh?) haha but I kinda tried to forget her (yes as a friend but nothing romantic). I have another friend: Mar. We did flirt to each other (I kinda like her also haha) but Denisse is the one that really caught my heart. Me and Mar came up with the term "my maybe girlfriend". we addressed each other as 'maybe girlfriend". I even asked Denisse to translated it into spanish. (I can't recall if I have the intention to make Denisse jealous haha) I started to realized something is different when she told me "Sere, today when I was eating ice cream with my friends, it reminds me of you". She even message me, " sere, sere, sere , sere.......... hi hi. I'm crazy, just want to disturb you". I was like 'aha' ! Then I made an final attempt. On April 11th, I asked her. "Denisse, you do think of me when you're not on on here and every time you wanted to be on on here, am i right?"(In front of my sis and our friends haha). "I'm going to ask you one last time, will you go out on a date with me? Not as a friend". She paused. (I was like 'yes'!) My heart is beating faster, it is tense. Then she finally said yes. I AM HAPPY and also SHOCKED!! Frankly speaking, I thought she'll said NO. Not like most of the people on IMVU who 'in a relationship' as a role-play, me and Denisse are serious. Yes, separated by North Pacific ocean doesn't sounds rational but love know no boundaries. (I think haha). Now we talk everyday on Skype. We texted also. We tried not to talk so much about future but we can't help it. To be honest, I don't know what will happen between me and Denisse, but I love this girl so much. We laughed, argued and even cried together. I just know that, this is not just an 'internet love or internet romance.' we haven't meet each other, but we will. Te quiero mucho mas mi novia mwaaaaaaaaaah. visit my blog if interested to know more about us and to know what will happen to this serendipity love: http://myserendipitylove.blogspot.com/ Just made it. ^^

(Screen) Name: Serene Love Mop Head