I don’t know where to start but here it is…
Let’s call him ANG, he’s a year younger than me and he had a thing for me though he never told me exactly his feelings. I don’t know how but it was mutual understanding. Maybe because I felt the same way, that there was no word to describe the thing we had. but the closest phrase to describe it is, the part of the song of next to you by jordin sparks. and that is “maybe were friends, maybe were more”. we hung out for sometime until I found out that he already has a girlfriend. So, he’s a cheater. Well, I never dreamed of being the “other girl” so i ended the flirting thing although the relationship was still something more than friends we already put the label and boundaries of our “FRIENDSHIP”. So, the hanging out part was OFF LIMITS and that was the miserable part. It felt so good when he’s around. I don’t know why and how good it was but when I got him out of the picture I was so sad especially when that HUG crosses my mind…the HUG he left me before he disappeared totally..
We text each a lot even after I knew about his girlfriend. He told me everything about their relationship and stuff. so, when they broke up, it crushed him but also relieved him. Because the girl got so paranoid after she knew that I existed. but that’s a different story. anyways, the HUG..the HUG.. the HUG that felt so warmth and safe.
It was late in the evening when we were texting and it was already 1am in the morning when he realized he needed to see me. I was at the dorm that time and visitors at that time are not allowed anymore. so, I told him the situation we had but still he insisted to go just to see me for a while. So then nothing has stopped him even it was so hard to look for a ride at that time. He arrived like 30mins after his last message. I was so worried what happened to him. If he really got a ride or not, and if he did why was his phone unattended when I tried to call him. I went down the dormitory and looked for him. and after 5 minutes of wandering outside. There he was, smiling at me, the smile that melted me and almost made me cry for worrying. we stayed outside and took a walk while telling me what happened to him and his now-ex-girlfriend. Well to make their long story short. They had a baby and the girl didn’t want it and after she got rid of the poor 8wks old fetus, she told him. And that made him so angry that he can’t even look at her, he was almost crying while stating those words. So as to comfort him I just listened and held his hand. But when he tried to interlocked our hands, I refused but just rather put our palms together. He asked why did I refused. I told him that “I think your just hurt that’s why your doing what your doing. I understand, guys will always be guys. I like this better.” then he agreed. Well he didn’t had any choice anyway, the truth about it was “I’d like to put boundaries between us”. The friendship relationship wasn’t working because the thing we had overpowers it but then at least we both know were we stand. It was 2:30am when we realize we have to figure out how was he going home because he cannot stay at the dormitory. It was late and no there are no cabs outside. So I had no choice but to sneak him in the dorm room. I thought If somebody from the admin will see him I’ll just tell them he’s my brother and he will spend the night at my room because we will be going home before the sun rises up.Thankfully nobody saw him until we reached my dorm room. There were my room mates doing some stuff and I introduced him. well they knew about our story so they didn’t mind him having him there. I knew he was tired so, I pointed out my bed and he stayed there while I told my buddies the plan if somebody sees him. He fell asleep easily, when I looked at him he was deep asleep. Well that’s what I thought because when I lied beside him and watching him sleep he suddenly put his palm on my palm. We were like holding each others hand while facing each other. My heart started to beat fast. He opened his eyes and smiled at me. My heart melted right there and there. I was stuck by his eyes. It was like he was trying to hypnotize me. I felt my face was so red and I turn back on him. then he HUG me so tight and I felt so secure and warmth. The hug that bugged me almost every night after that. It was a unique feeling. I couldn’t explain it but it was so nice. I loved it and fell asleep while he was staring at me. well, I think he was. haha. then we woke up the next day and finally he really got me home safe and with the hang over about our special moment that night. Unfortunately, we did not end up together. That was the last day I heard from him. He never texted or contact me. I guess that was a goodbye HUG. I still misses him and that hug a lot and I even dream about it. I even wanted it to happen again so that I could hug him back…miss you so much..

(Screen) Name: kit