Hi, My name is Maia and this is my ‘love’ story. . .

His name is . . lets call him joe, 3 years ago me and joe met on a online game called weeworld i randomly came across this website being the bored kid i was so i decided to check it out. I was 12 at the time currently 15, and like i said bored. I’m sure if your a girl you know the hype about a ‘girl’ with guys, they’ll do about anything to get you to like them. I loved the attention i had boys fighting over me left and right haha. . sad right. But soon after about a month on weeworld i met joe he wasnt interested in me no matter how many tricks i used on him * Im the teasing type *So sooner or later i gave up and we ended up being friends . . it still bothered me that he wouldnt fall for my ‘charm’ when it worked on every single guy ive come acrossed on weeworld. But soon i began to fall for him, he was sweet super funny gentlemanly and just so nice. I started thinking about us being together and saying i love you . . and kid stuff. He gave me his twitter, i was gonna follow him but i soon figured out he was older then me by 2 years and pretty freaking hot which i didnt know what hot was at the time haha. All i could think about was he can’t figure out im younger things are going soo good! But suddenly he quit weeworld . . . I was so devastated, thinking would i never talk to him again?? Soon months after he left i tried to distract myself with other online guys. Just talking to them here and there. It did nothing. I still liked the people i talked to not in a love way, some i got into long relationships with its was cute. But not real. THEN all of a sudden i check my messages on weeworld . . guess who? It was joe. I was so shocked and just flipping out he said Hey Maia Im Back ! Did you miss me? Or something like that haha. We started talking again i still really loved him he changed though he was more mature rude and a little perverted and of course i fell hard for it, and i didnt want to believe i was in love with such a jerk so i started being mean to him . . dont ask i have no idea why. He was getting mad that i was being mean for no reason all of a sudden, until i just gave up and told the truth. I said I . . love . . you . . joe . . something cute like that. He was surprised, super shocked he said really? I love you too which surprised me too cause he was so mean to me but he cleared that up and then i mistakenly took that as were dating now! . . stupid move. I was acting all lovey dovey and i said im just glad were finally dating. He said what o.o and yeah yeah i was mistaken and super embarrassed after. So a little later after talking he asked me out i said yesss((; We started talking and being cute and like couple do, one day i noticed he was saying the same stuff he said to me . . the same way with other girls. It broke my heart . . Soon the spark just wasnt there anymore after thinking he probably says the same thing to all those girls and he soon quit weeworld, again without a word. Never saw him again.

Thats when it got really bad i was talking to older boys that were 16 and i was 14 they really liked me cause i was funny and i really liked them. I was getting over that jerk once again by talking to other guys i started lying . . . about my age when they’d ask . . Worst mistake ive ever made. I met this boy named jose he asked if i could make a kik i tried over and over to distract him from kik every time he’d bring it up, but there was no way beating around him asking everyday. I didnt know what to do i told him i’m 16! and i look nothing like a 16 year old at the time. So i looked on twitter for one of my cutest older friends and used it as a profile picture. I thought eh no big deal he’ll never know. . fastfroward a bit  he was friends with one of these girls named winter. He obviously was trynna make me jealous so i went for the bate and asked for her kik and we started talking and she ended up being the same age as me  haha and we became best friends! I told her about joe and she knew him and even . . his KIK! I was like YES YES! Then i remembered im getting over him. . im getting over him. I casually asked for it and messaged him.

Guess what. He didnt even remember who i was. I was trynna test him by saying the girl you dated on weeworld and he started saying a bunch of girls names. So amazed. I ended up telling him my name . . . I just complained for a while lol . . then got over it even though he just up and left without a word . . but i was dating jose at the time i wasnt serious with him even though i acted like i was. . I still really liked him. So i thought should i break up with jose to try things with joe? I couldn’t come up with a answer cause me and jose were ‘serious’ too far to break up serious. Oh my . . that jut reminds me how freaking painful it was breaking up with him. . I HAD TO. . he wanted to talk on the phone he wanted to skype he was literally going to rent a room at one of his uncles house that lives were i am, just to see me. I had no idea of this. . he’d been saving up to get a flight. And he told me when he had enough money cause he wanted to surprise me. Im like WHAT. WHAT. . Hes asking me all these questions like where do you live well go to a resteraunt and movies! AH! I was running out of excuses I tried convincing him no over and over that he shouldnt come but he kept saying its ok, its ok. . . I started falling for him cause everything he was saying had me thinking if it really happened. And i really liked what he was saying we’d do. So . . . . I had to make up a lie . . a lie that i didnt love him.

Behind every mean text, i was actually . . . crying cause i really loved him. We broke up later. . he faught for me tell the very end until he did what he thought would make me the happiest. Cause of all the girls thats hurt him he told me i dont think i can ever love someone again. From what i know hes still single to this day. To know that i caused someone that much pain for love to where they can never LOVE again, kills me.

Enough details. At the time me and jose were together joe and i were talking like normal friends cause i wasnt thinking about him at the time, until me and jose broke up i was super depressed just music 24/7 i’d take my anger out on joe . . i felt horrible. Soon joe figured out i wasnt being mean to him cause of him, and he asked what was wrong and i ended up telling him everything besides the fact the i was lying about not loving him and im not really the girl in the profile picture thats still up . . and he listened to every detail i dont know what it was but after he understood why i was being such a b*ch he started trying to cheer me up and just being super nice. Smh whatever he was doing healed me right up. Now i get why guys try to comfort girls when there vonerable he really impressed me haha, To where, you guessed it i fell for him again. Sooner or later i started trying to work my charms on him and i guess he guessed i was all better * All thanks to him * and went back to being a jerk. I love his . . i dont know loving side! He calls it speaking from the heart. So i slowly tried harder and harder to get him to fall for me showing him my good points ‘and bad’ until we started fighting SO much we’d argue about every little thing and it’d always all come down to one thing. Why do you act this way then? Deep down we both knew we loved eachother but didnt know how to express it. . we were both a bunch of idiots new to love that resolved to anger when we dont understand a certain feeling. Finally the more mature one * Joe * gave in and told me he loved me he really really loved me and explained that hes loved me this whole time ever since we met and that he was just lying about everything about being rude. When we faught we’d say mean things like i dont even like you or we’d stop talking to each other for a couple months but like always i’d come back to him and he’d apoligize and ask for another chance at a friendship. Every time i left he’d say the same thing give me another chance. And i stupidly would . If you were wondering why i left everytime was because I was doing the same thing i ended up doing with jose pretending i dont love him. But he loved me so much he wouldnt give up no matter what i told him . . no matter how much i hurt him he still wanted to talk to me and be with me. Then he started telling me he loves me so much because he can be himself around me and i make him happy. And all he wants is to be together. Every time i came back says something better and better that just steals my heart away. It was killing me just lying to him and making him think i dont love him to were i’d cry. I’m not someone who cries. . So i left, for the last time!. . Is what i thought. I thought i dont deserve to go back i hurt him so much already . . i cant go back! It was the longest 4 months in my life. I finally began to forget about him to were i wouldnt even remember him. Until i watched a freaking love movie! Why did i watch that love movie. Immediatley during the movie i thougt that’d be cute if . . . me and . . . sh*t. After that movie not a day went by that i didnt think of him. Soon after i couldnt take it anymore i wanted to talk to him, and ended up signing in to my old ps3 account * We would play videogames together * Sure enough guess who just happened to be online? Joe. I didnt know what to do i started freaking out again so just got on gta. Immediatley i got a message from him ‘hey’ My heart was beating fast and i replied ‘Hi’ Haha. He said i hate you. Then i said something i dont remember. And he says ‘I miss you.’ Im such a sucker for him but i didnt give in just yet and said What, are you expecting me to say i miss you too ?(: Cause i thought he was just messing with me cause thats what he does and has done before. But his messages didnt change usually after someone says that, they’d be like oh shes not falling for it. He was serious & of course saying give me another chance. And this time i really wanna try at this friendship/relationship. I was like i can finally talk to you again . . but still playing hard to get i said why should i give you another chance? Ive gave you so many and you’ve destroyed every chance and my trust. Of course he fixes it, cause he can fix any problem . . i’m serious. So we play a little gta and i jump on kik and we start talking for a couple days(; Im super happy and in love . . then bam. He starts being more then flirty, which is the part i love most about him when he shows his love. That sweet adorable silly guy(; Which went down the shoot pretty quick. Saying he wants to see my face everyday do you have a snapchat? and I wanna talk to you everyday on the phone and hear you say i love you. Which i told him i cant because i have really protective siblings and if they figured out im talking to a boy i probably wouldnt be able to talk to you anymore. And again he fixes that by saying ‘ Im a tough guy Maia i can handle sh*t etc. . ‘ Omg tooo cute. I had no more excuses so . . I told him i have a secret ive been keeping from you. Fastforward i ended up telling him a lie cause i was to scared to tell him the truth. . I said im dating someone . And i had to make up a bunch of stressful stuff that ive been dating him for 3 months so more then half the time after i left him. Before i told him he promised me nothing would change and i’ll still love you no matter what. I have the feeling he knew somehow i wasnt who i say i am. we’ll talk about that later, but he told me im not going to fight for you if you want to be with another guy you can be with him. . Which for some reason . . . hurt like crazy thinking that it’d finally finally be over after 3 years after all the things we said. Then i thought ‘chance.’ This is my only chance to get him to move on. Make him stop loving me. I dont think i explained this but i know hes serious about us. . he told me I love you, forever, I want to move away somewhere with you. . to me thats a proposal already. But i’ve been LYING to him this whole time about who i really am!. . I cant . . i just can’t bring myself to tell him. If i tell him and he doesnt want to talk to me ever again, if hes disgusted with what i did. . it will definetly destroy me. One half of me is scared of that happening and the other is scared he’ll be okay with the fact i lied to him for 3 years.

Imagine yourself in my shoes right now. . and try to relate. . he doesnt, no he cant stop loving me no matter what his words exactly. The only thing i can do is get him to him move on . . without me. So i took that chance, and showed a convincing attitude that i loved the guy ive been dating for 3 months more then joe. And, it worked.

He said I give up, i cant stand imagaining what you do with another guy. So he gave up.

Shouldnt that be good thing then!. . But i was crying my f*cking brains out while i said Thank you, that makes it so much more easier. Im amazed at how much i can lie.

After he gave up i just didnt feel like talking to anyone and i guess he could tell cause he said why are you so f*cking sad when you dont even love me? How did he know . . i have no idea? Hes my freaking soul mate i swear.

Soon after he cheered me up -_- We cleared things up and i told him i love him not the guy im dating and i want to be with him but we cant. He asked why of course but i still haven’t told him, i just keep saying we can’t or i dont deserve you. Its true i really dont. Hes amazing and all i do is treat him like crap and he still loves me. So right now i kept saying lets just be friends, lets just be friends and he said I wont let you leave no matter what this time i really need you. And wont tell me why he needs me so much?? So he said if it will keep you from leaving me we will be ‘cute together’ i wont accept anything else like friends. So currently ‘I’ am being cute, while hes trying his best to ignore me and ‘act’ cute. I know by now the difference of when hes really meaning something or not. So i’ll play along . . ive been replying hours after seeing his text. Just like him. And giving short but polite replies. Today ive only sent him i think 3 messages and hes sent 4 which i havent replied to the new one hehe. . . i miss him. I miss us.

But i . . have to keep playing along no matter how much it hurts, until hes moved on.

I hope one day you might see this justin.

I love you(: