I m raja. raja means king, and yea I had a attitude like king, careless, fearless and ready to fight with everything. but suddenly everything changed,

I m 21 year old, I m doing my graduation but i hardly go to school when I m alone in my room I go to facebook and that kinda site for just time pass. about a year ago i met a girl tiph on facebook, she was so insecure and depressed, always complaining about her life and how she look. well this not beginning of the story,
we not used to talk much at that time. may 2011, we started chating for hours, we both become good friend, she told me she is 33 year old, she has a son, but she wasn’t married. she has a boyfriend from india, the same place where i live. i still remember the day 18th may, she had a fight with his boyfriend, she was sad, and after a long conversation she told me what happened. she told me how much she love her, she used to talk about unconditional and pure love. I was very impressed by her. I started giving her all my time, chat with her for the whole day until she go to sleep. i start to stay up for the whole nite to just talk to her. and she never used to get bored of me, she used to wake up early just to chat with me, even if she go to pee she take me with her. i always forget to keep track of time when i chating with her,i make some stupid joke and she always laugh on it, she told me everything about her. i m not going into that. well i sucked in my exam for this. but i was very happy.
She was having issues with her boyfriend, he used to make her sad and cry, he didn’t have time for his own girlfriend. i still don’t know why one of them never tried to go to visit their love. I m always confused with their love. whatever coming back to my story, we become more then just friends and she agreed to it, i never wanted to get married but i told tiph that i m in love with her. one day tiph had a big fight with her boyfriend she was crying like hell and that day I felt how much I love her , I proposed her to marry me, she said if his boyfriend doesn’t marry her she would marry me. I was ok with it. I still dont care that I m just an option for her, I just care how I can make her happy. these days were the best days of my life. she made me feel I m very special. I m a short height boy with not so cute appearance, but she made me believe that i m awesome. later she promised me that she would marry me whatever happen. i got addicted to her. now i need her every second i m awaken. and she used to be with me all time. we used to say i love u to each other like a million times in a day. she used to dream of me every night, and at the morning when she tells me the dream i get very happy.
But god had some other plans for me, he makes my life better just to make it worse. her boy friend bijay, he is a cute guy, lots of girls dying to get her, he is employed in a well known company and always busy with friend at holidays. about two month ago bijay started to being very nice to her. tiph was very happy because his boyfriend is giving her more time. at that time she changed for me, she doesn’t talk to me anymore like she used to. she said i m everything for her and we r so perfect but suddenly she just went away from me. we used to fight everyday after that. i wanted to leave her. but i couldn’t. then i realized i have given up everything to her. it was very frustrating. at same time she was having issues with bijay , they used to fight always. and he makes her cry. tiph always tell me when she has any problem. i cant see her crying, doesn’t matter she love me or not, i used to explain to her that bijay is not a bad guy and how he is right and she should be with her. i said all that just cause she doesn’t cry. she said she is leaving him. and at the same time i said to her that if she wanted to marry me she had to prove she really love me cause i felt she doesn’t love me she just used me as a boyfriend when bijay wasn’t there for her. well after that she chooses him. and she dumped me like i m a piece of sh#t. i now she cant leave bijay cause he is a guy every girl wants. she doesn’t love me anymore but she doesn’t love bijay either but only because of bijay is strong enough to leave her and hurt her she doesn’t want him to go. i m not that kinda guy. i tried to kill my self when she told me few days ago that she cant live without bijay. i dont care about what she have done to me , i still care about how i can make her happy. she stil chat with me , not like the old days but thanks to her she still reply and call me when i ask her. she still says she would marry if bijay doesn’t want her. yea i hate to be a 2nd option now but what to do i don’t have an option, i cant live without her. now i have planed to go there, and get any job i get and then help her anyhow possible. i still love her more than my life.she is everything for me.

(Screen) Name: raja