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I’ll get over it someday.

Posted on : 22-06-2011 | By : Love Story Writer ... | In : First Love, Romance Love Story

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My first love. As simple as that.
It started in august, just before the beginning of the school year. I was 14. He was my brother’s friend and I’d known him for a year or so. The first time I saw him, I found him attractive. Never thought any further though. Three reasons: 1) He was my brother’s friend and this would create a TOTAL mess. 2) He was 3 years older. 3) He’d been with his girlfriend for almost 2 years. We ate (parents+brother+me+him)and then they went in my brother’s room to watch a movie. They asked me if I wanted to come, and of course I said I did. This was the first mistake.
My brother lied on his bed while He and I lied on a matress on the floor. We’d done that a couple of times already but that night; it just felt different. We started holding hands (I really don’t know who, from the two of us, made it happen, but I do know it did happen) and stuff. No big deal. Well, actually, this was a big deal. My brother fell asleep before the end of the movie and well, I went in my bedroom. I couldn’t just let it end that way so I called him and pretented I needed his advice on some stupid story. Second mistake.
As I predicted, he came and we ended up talking for hours. And then, kissing. It was wonderful. I’d kissed other dudes before, but I’d never felt that way. At some point he went back in my brother’s room. The END.
No, just kidding. It was far from being finished. Even though I told him that it didn’t mean anything, regarding his girlfriend and all. But as usual, it did matter, and I started to miss him. It hurt really bad, so I started to ignore and avoid him: I just couldn’t stand seeing him with her anymore. He confronted me about it and I told him. He said he was sorry, yada yada yada, that he didn’t feel the same way: the usual smooth talk. However, he did say something I still haven’t figured out: it was a friendly gesture. What does it even mean? Can you FRIENDLY kiss someone for HOURS? I, for one thing, am not used to kissing my friends at night when I’m already involved elsewhere! Anyway, not the point. So I told him I knew and was only expecting one thing from him: to back off. He told me: “So basically, I forget you so that you can forget me.”. Yes, I answered. I would learn to regret it soon enough. It ached for a long time, then. The first four mounths, I didn’t talk to him and was a total mess. Dated a moron (and a terrible kisser… poor guy, he really had nothing a girl would want. One thing I do not understand though, is that he is now dating a girl and it’s been for a couple of mounts. And she is quite pretty. I will never understand her whatsoever. But you know, if they’re happy together, why not?), cried every single night, worked like crazy, didn’t take care of myself. The two next mounts, I managed seeing him, a little. Then came his 18th birthday but I was already seeing very little of him since my brother and himself had almost stopped spending time together. There was no particular reason, you know, life, time or whatever. I guess they just drifted apart. Anyway, back to his birthday, I decided “Hey, what the heck! It’s his 18th birthday I can’t just do NOTHING”. So I assembled this thing with my computer on which I wrote: “Happy 18th birthday” (original, uh?)and then I took pictures of each person (except his family. Too complicated and too long) that mattered to him and disposed them all around the message. Naturally, his girlfriend got the biggest spot. And if you’re wondering, I did not put myself there. I didn’t belong there. Then, I printed it (and it took me ages! The printer I found was a real dushbag so I had to go through the whole damn city to find a decent one! Gosh!) and asked my brother to give it to him. And so it happened. And well, I saw him but we did not have time to chat so he just got to tell me thanx and well, I never knew wether he liked it. Or not. Terrible, isn’t it?
Well then. I guess the end of the story is this: he and my brother are sitting exams from tomorrow to.. I don’t really know. It lasts a week or so. Anyway: In July, they’ll have graduated. Next year, my brother is going at one of these school where having a semblance of a life is not even conceivable. Given that they already didn’t see much of each other, He will become ancient history. I do find it sad. Life, I guess. The way it is supposed to be? Nah, I’m not a big believer in fate. The way it happened, that’s for sure. And really, that’s okay. There’s a whole world out there, waiting for me to change it. Who needs love anyway? All this wheeping, and sobbing, and moping doesn’t do much for me.

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