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Bitter Sweet

Posted on : 03-07-2009 | By : Love Story Writer ... | In : Romance Love Story

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Noticed him the first time I ate together with my colleagues in the company I started working with third quarter of 2008. He easily captured my attention because of his jolly personality and I just can’t simply take a way my eyes with him, a talk, dark, and good-looking man. Frankly speaking, his totally my type but that’s it, no more no less because I’m into a relationship for five years and I’m really happy with my partner not knowing that all will certainly change.
Our “bitter sweet” love story exactly started when he texted me by chance. He just wants to bully me because I’m walking with a guy friend after office hours. He is thinking that it’s my boyfriend. I replied and said that it’s just my friend. After that we have given a chance to know each other better as time passes by because we constantly texting each other. I was very candid with my admiration for him, I often tell my colleagues that I like him and I was so attracted with his eyes. As if I’m running out of time because suddenly I want him to be mine but it was miserable because I knew what we have is nothing for him and the most heartbreaking part is that he is already married with a lovely daughter. I knew from the very start that the relationship we are building will not work because he loves his wife and I love my boyfriend too but I can’t stop my feeling because he is also showing the same way to me. I just let go and nurture the emotion. Our first kiss was remarkable because we hide from our colleagues one night when we go out to unwind. My feelings as well as he overflowed that we end up in making love. Everything came very rapid which is something to be anxious of. Everything went well with us as he is thinking of because we are enjoying one’s companionship, for me it wasn’t. Hurt is starting to build within me because the feelings I have nurtured had already grown to love. Yes I love him and there’s no way to pull it back. Another night out came and I love it when we go out because we have given a chance to be together. I was not supposed to drink because I’m not really drinking but that night was the first time I did and I took it badly. It lead me to asked him if he loves his wife and he said yes and follow-up question of do you love me and he said no. It really breaks my heart; I don’t know what to do that time. I want to cry, shout, and hurt myself because this will not happened if from the very start I did not entertained it. That night made me realized to stop the foolishness I’m doing because I gained nothing but heartbreaks. It somehow affects him and he does everything to make me feel better. The love’s strength again ruled over me and so we continued our secret affair.
One night before holidays an officemate, me and him went out for a drink. I’m just sitting next to him listening to what they are chatting of. The session lasted about 3 hours, before we left each other I told him in the sincerest way that I love him and he simply said thank you for the love. What do I expect hear him saying that he loves me? Oh well if he only knew how I felt. The much awaited holidays came and all of us were excited to take a break from the toxic world of work. We are in good terms when we left each other and how we will celebrate our Christmas? Simply by saying in a text message “Merry Christmas” and that’s it, again what would I expect to a loving husband to his wife. I told myself that it is the right time to reflect and of course help myself to get rid of him after all I still have my boyfriend. I will just give my love and attention to him, someone who loves me back more than I give. I decided to just text him during Christmas, his Birthday, and New Year. It bothered him so he texted me a lot with same messages yet I still control myself I never sent any other message aside from the greetings.
Vacation ended and it’s time to go back to work. I was worried because we are going to see each other again. We just simply smiled when we first saw each other again. He asked me why I didn’t respond to his messages I just said that I thought the network has a problem because I keep on receiving same messages and he laughed at me and said how could that be happened. After office we go out and ate with two of our colleagues, he was sweeter than before I don’t know why. Again my weak heart follow what will make her happy but this time around everything is started to change. He is sweeter, thoughtful, and we are closer than before. I was really in the stage of accepting that he will never love me and everything will stay as an enjoyment in each other but one night when he took me home I was shocked when he said that he loves me. I was very happy to hear that from him. I didn’t expect that after long wait he will feel the same way as mine. Our romance has its new face and stronger than ever.
Every day is something to look forward to. We often texted each other as much as we can, even Saturdays and Sundays unlike before. We still took dinner together but sweeter than before and we started calling each other Mahal. We tried to do things like what other relationships does, like watching movies, bowling, enjoy strolling in mall, for summer vacation we went to a resort to spend at least over night, I let him experienced eating my favorite dishes and we went home together after office, his taking the same route as mine. I really appreciate all his effort for me. I will never forget how he surprised me on my birthday. He went early to my house; I’m actually renting a studio type room together with a colleague and gave me a present, I didn’t expect it because I’m only thinking that we will just go out for dinner yet he planned for sweeter thing but if he only knew that time that his kiss and embrace is more than enough. He really made my day special and unforgettable. I must admit that even no words came out from his lips, he truly loves me but of course like any other relationships we also experienced misunderstandings and difficulties since our affair is secret but it’s good that we still manage to overcome it because we gave time to talk about all issues and aside from our love we also founded friendship.
Everything looks great for us perhaps but I can’t deny that we can never be together. He loves his family more than he does for me and I know that he will never leave them. Sad truth for me, it is not like what we commonly heard that someone will leave the family to be with the mistress. I have no rights to demand for anything because all that we are doing is against GOD’s teachings and human law. For sure everyone will say it’s wrong but what is right? Stop what we are doing? I will stop if he does first because it will only burden me knowing that I love him. I once heard this from him. “Everything in life is temporary, enjoy good things because they won’t last forever and don’t worry for bad things because they won’t also last forever” I was not able to give reasonable comment with this. I just want to tell him that yes it’s temporary that’s why I want to experience being loved by him, just only me. Too selfish to hear since I’m the one who just came by and now asking for the whole. No matter how hard one’s tried and no matter how much you gave, you will still end up with nothing because not everything you want will be yours. I don’t know how long I can hold on to this relationship and how long will it last what’s I’m sure of is that I love him as much as he knows.

(Screen) Name: ReD

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