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Miles and Miles of Love

Posted on : 18-09-2011 | By : Love Story Writer ... | In : Internet Romance, Romance Love Story

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I may be young, but I’m wiser than you may think. It may seem like I haven’t experienced anything but…I’m 14 and I’ve seen slot from the world. I guess that’s how I should start. Even tho thats not the beginning.

It all started near the end of middle school. My friends and I always eat lunch together through our shared interest of anime, manga, drawing, and cosplay. I remember them clearly, all the good times we had. One day, one of my friends brought another girl she knew to the table. She was solemn and a bit dark. She looked like she found it painful to smile. I wanted to fix that but, she wanted to fix me. At that time, I was hiding deep pains in my heart. But with the fun I was having I thought the scars would heal or be forgotten. Absentmindedly, I told her about them. She pledged her service to me, something I didn’t want. It actually surprised me. I thought no one would care like that in this world. I began to grow on her, not only to try and repay but to discover why she was so giving of her own freedom. …I thought I was in love with her. (Yes, I had felt love before. Crushes, with family, ect.) I told her I was in love with her so, we started to try to be a couple. I felt like I was lying to her. Like I was just holding her down. So it only lasted a few days before I told her I would rather be her sister than her lover. She said the same. It was a relief.

Now, I had a ‘best friend,’ if you would. She was modest, she loved acting and anything about england. She played the viola and worked her hardest. I had no talents but our friendship was based on the fact that our names were almost the same commonly. Around that time, I felt as if we weren’t really…cooperating well. I started to feel like a tool or a shadow more than a friend. A person to steal ideas from or get a quick tip from. Someone you could easily forget and throw away, which has happened more than once. So, to soften the blow of losing someone close, I started to cut off our friendship, bit by bit, slowly. Sadly, it couldn’t save me from what happened next.

I remember that night clearly. I had decided to host a sleepover so I invited my ‘best friend’ and my other friend over. ( She still considered me her best friend.) what happened that night hurt me. It was my house, my neighbor hood, and I do my best to be a good host. But they were to caught up in each other than they ignored me. I didn’t see it as much and passed it by but, in the back of my mind, it hurt me down to my heart. The next night, I was in a chatroom waiting for my ‘best friend’ to arrive when I fell asleep. Kinda cliche, huh? When I woke up, I read the conversation I had missed and learnt the truth. The two friends had started going out,andmy so-called ‘best friend’ didn’t have the decency to tell me at my house to my face but, to a total stranger over the Internet. That broke my heart and so, a long, painful battle began.

Different thoughts painted my head with one single question. Why? Why, why, why? Why did she trust someone she hardly knew than one she knew and saw face to face everyday. It didn’t make sense. It’s painful to try and explain in detail, and even if I did, you have a chance of not understanding no matter how smart or wise you are. But at the end of that battle, I was mentally broken. I no longer had friends. Everyone was either against me or had ignored everything passing it off as not their problem. Few people tried. And Maria was one of the few.

Before, my ‘best friend’ has introduced me to a chatroom fro roleplay. That was where I first met Maria. If ‘best friend’ is reading this I just want to say,’ Thank you and eat my sh*t.’ Maria had been one of the spectators of the battle and had acquired my number by ‘best friend.’ She was worried about me, for I had disappeared and ran away from the sourse of the pain, the Internet. I brushed her off and told her to go away because she didn’t care either. I thought to her, it was the same to the rest of them; a show that I had put on to watch. But she wouldn’t go. I turned away from her and everyone else.

However, maybe a week or so later, I came back. Someone hurt and with few to turn to, shouldn’t be alone. I knew that. So, I simply just took her as someone to talk to. I was caucious. I didn’t want to be hurt again. Not only that but this was a person I only knew from chat. Someone still connected to the enemy and might be just a spy. A week after I started talking to her tho, she started to tell me things. She told me she loved me. Believe me, I was thinking the same thing you are thinking right now probably. ‘ You don’t love me,’ I told her,’ You just want to…’ I didn’t really have anything to put in that line. She wasn’t a spy so, why was she here other than to be here? Protect? Help? I thought nothing of the sort and ignored her ‘feelings’. Besides, love after a love after a war? Doesn’t make sense, does it?

You see, if you had ever wanted to be in a relationship with me, you had to play a game. ‘The game’ as i called it, was probably just me looking for key traits of a person, feelings strong enough for me to believe, or maybe actions done out of emotion. I don’t know exactly but the point was to find someone I could trust with my life and my heart. Those who won the game, won my heart. Once you’ve met me, you start playing the game.

Maria and my friend had both practically flew through the game. However, it seemed like my friend either forced her way through or I just let her in. Maria, however, was different. She was gentle and she progressed so quickly and was so close that she was scaring me. She gave me words of comfort when horrible memories flooded my head. One day, she came to me crying. She had stood up to my ‘best friend’, was critized and left the chatroom. She had done it for me. Me. I, surely, throughout she was crazy but, I came closer to thinking,’ Maybe she really did love me.’ It would explain her sacrifices and her tenderness. Maria truly was one of a kind.

The best night of my life, She said I love you. I believed her. I truly believed her. She had won the game and it wasn’t long until I said,’ I love you too.’

It may seem very cliche, sappy, and dramatic but, these events actually happened.

There are problems tho… You see, I live four states away from Maria. Maria lives four states away from me. We’re both bi, we’re both 14, and we’ve never met. Our mothers both don’t approve. They would never say it of course. Her mother thinks it’s a phase; my mother says because of distance it’ll never work. I talk to Maria everyday. Virtually, we hug and kiss, we tell each other how much we love each other, we laugh and sing, we chase each others fears and wipe away the tears, virtually we’re together. But it cannot cease the longing to actually be with Maria. A warm body next to mine, a hand to hold. A moving, breathing face. I long to see her smile.

Maria and I have been together 3 months. I could careless what you adults think or say. These have been the happiest 3 months I’ve ever had. I hope to spend many, many more days just talking to Maria. I can’t wait to show her the things she has never seen. Snow, for one. Right now, I want, more than anything, to be with Maria. But the fates are cruel that way. I have to go to school and see ‘best friend’ everyday, but I get to come home to talk to my real best friend and my lover. Maria. Watashi wa anata o aishite, Maria. I’ll wait as long as it takes to be in your arms.

This is a sad story of heartache and revival, but it’s also a story that hasn’t ended yet.

(Screen) Name: Storie

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