I once believed that life makes circles,we jump from one to another not knowing if the previous one came to an end or if we’ll find ourselves again in familiar ground.This story is my biggest emotional circle,the deepest,the strongest…What others call “the first cut”.I guess it all started when i was 21.Who seeks a romantic beginning will get disappointed by mine,as it was not a love at first sight,on the contrary,it didn’t feel like love at all.I thought of him as a very nice guy,warm,polite,tender and somehow familiar,pleasant to be around although extremely shy.Bottom line:not my cup of tea at that point.He was great for a friend,but back in the days my wild nature was seeking a “dark prince”.And friends we became.He was in love with me and i didn’t even notice.All i knew was that i could forget everything when i was around him.I felt extremely comfortable,i was free and i was entirely myself.I wanted to be with him all the time,we spent hours talking,the days became nights and we didn’t even notice.The whole world just magically disappeared,every time we were together.We became tender and affectionate,holding hands,hugging all the time.But no,we said to ourselves,we were just friends.One night,after spending the whole afternoon together,i went home and i called him,asking if he would like to come over and sleep with me.I still don’t know why.But he came.And we slept together that night,and the night after that,and all the nights after that for almost 3 years.Though it took us almost another two months till we called it a “relationship”.Our first kiss was a drunk kiss.We tried to stop it afterwards,but we just couldn’t keep off each other.Still we kept claiming “friends”,our private moments were a secret till we couldn’t hold our horses anymore.Passion was blinding us both,more and more.But he was 18,and i was a fool to really believe this was going to work.I guess we should have called it off when he left for the army some months after.But back then,we couldn’t,we felt that the only thing we could do was try to make it work from a distance.I went for Erasmus a while after he left.I remember now,the feeling was breathtaking.I couldn’t be without him.And we made it.We were still together when he came back,but he had changed.He wanted out,he wanted freedom.I wanted the exact opposite:gain back the time we’ve lost.I suppose we had lots of things in common,but we also had lots of differences that led us to fights,we were so much in love that we became blind and egoists,and we both had strong personalities that couldn’t step back and say “you know what,i don’t care.i love you”.At the same time,we had a lot of exterior problems to deal with,my parents didn’t want him as he had lower education than mine,his friends hated me as i was stealing their childhood “belonging”…In three years we broke up twice but there was always something holding us together.We’ve tried a lot,i admit.We’ve tried so much to make it work,tame our individual needs to make it better for one another,so much that it had the opposite result in the end.Love turned to frustration,pressure,hate.We’ve always had a major difference.I wanted to travel the world,live abroad,explore.He felt safe in our home town and didn’t want to leave his family and friends.I was about to finish my bachelor and i knew that i only had two choices.Find a job in my hometown,forget about my dreams,try to make our tormented relationship work and lose my parents forever as they were not willing to accept him.Or apply for a master abroad,follow my instinct and lose the love of my life.I chose to leave,and as i expected,he didn’t want to follow.Breaking up was not easy,happened during a stupid fight that turned into a disaster.I admit that if he had,in any moment,tried to win me back he could have done so.But he didn’t.I started seeing somebody else for a short while but of course it didn’t work out.It was my safety pillow to keep my mind off him.Few months before i left,i knocked on his door,asking for a last chance.It was always me who returned,always me facing his rejections and trying to break the protective shield he always armed his heart with.It didn’t work out either.All we did was fighting and hurting each other,killing every hope remaining for love.And suddenly he disappeared.I left,i settled,i kept calling but nothing.Now i know he tried so hard to take me out of his mind.He was hurt because i left.And i know now,knowing him back then,that if i had stayed,we would be still walking our parallel circles.He found a new girlfriend instead,only a month after,claiming to have fallen in love again.”She’s way better and she’s the only one i care about”,he said.My heart was broken to pieces.My mind couldn’t cope,and although it’s been almost a year now,i still think about him quite often.I tried to move on unsuccessfully,probably knocking on one wrong door after another. Subconsciously,i just didn’t want to let go.Falling in love is one thing,and can happen many times in one’s life,but there’s one chance in a million to feel how i felt with him.And that i can’t forget.We had no clue what love was before we met,and we discovered it together,we taught each other about life,sex,passion,comradeship,support,devotion,care…But we also discovered how much can we hurt the one we care the most.We both made plenty of mistakes,but we didn’t know how.It sounds stupid but one part of mine is happy he found peace in the end,even if i was not the one to do so.The other part is envious of that 17 year old girl he calls “love”.But if love is a game then i lost.And i’ve learned to live knowing that he’ll always be a part of me.I’m single,not available,trying to make the best out of my days here.In the end,it was my choice to leave,and it feels like the right one after all.I couldn’t find love,but i found my peace of mind in other aspects of life.I guess i’m happy with that.

(Screen) Name: Stalitsa

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i lived in a small neighborhood.My sons and daughter were close to all the teenagers in the neighborhood. My sons best friend was Austin. We used to take Austin to places to eat,church. All type of places. I knew him but not his brother Luis nor his dad Kevin.

Well one day my son went to Austins house. And Kevin asked how i look. My son showed him a picture of me on Hi5. I guess he thought i was attractive. So he made an account of his own. We met and went out on a few dates. Now hes the love of my life. Hes all I could ask for! i thank the lord for a person as wonderful as him. Now we all live together. Our family is great. And better than ever!

(Screen) Name: Diana

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I am actually someone who is afraid of what people thinks about his feelings because that is very common, people criticize all that we think or do, and well my story involves all that…

I’m German Palacio a guy from Colombia and all started because my friend Juliana failed the year so we became very close and when i saw her with her group of friends i could saw a girl, a girl that was beautiful, her eyes just killed me his hair was beautiful, but nothig was more amazing that her eyes they were perfect, her name was Diana i think that with her it was the first time i actually experienced what is love at first sight, i just couldn’t believe she was beautiful.

I had a problem, i didn’t trust in myself and i was so insecure, so scared, i thought that i was ugly, i knew that if i talked to her i will like vomit or something, but i loved her, my friend Juliana told me that i had no chance with her but i already knew that because she was a year older than me, but that’s obvious. Thr o ly think i focused on everyday was looking at her and admire all the light that she gave to my heart as i passed right in front of her in recess, one day when i was in x-mas holidays i had the stupid idea of sending her a message saying her all the things that i was feeling but then i realized that was the most stupid thing i’ve ever done she told Juliana and when we returned from holidays she told me that i was very idiot because of sending her that message so i was pretty mad with myself because of 2 reasons: first, Diana woukd never pay attention to me so the message was useless, and second, i was mad because i just realized wih Juliana that the message was so stupid. 

Time passed and i was still in love with her i couldn’t sleep thinkig about her and the worst thing is that i didn’t knew anything about her because she was a year older than me so i screw it all up because i was in love with the wrong person but i couldn’t take her out of my mind.

One day Juliana told me that Diana wanted to meet me, i just couldn’t believe it i thought Diana wanted to give me chance, but that was BS, Diana wanted to meet me because Juliana told him i was a great person not as boyfriend but as friend so i was actually very disappointed, but i knew she would never give me a chance.

I tried to talk to her but it was useless because when i’m in love i’m stupid, i’m nervous so it was very sad to see that then i just couldn’t look a her.

Now we are in 2011 and i’m still in love with her, but believe or not she suddenly started to talk to me by messenger so i’m happy i know she doesn’t want anything with me but at least being her friend that for me is like flying have the chance to be by her side protecting her, i just dream of incredible endings for this story, but the real thing my friends is that i cant lie to you i’m suffering for her. And it isnt good but i just love her she gives me light to be happy everyday, her eyes are brighter than a thousand suns….

I LOVE HER, I LOVE DIANA….

(Screen) Name: Impossible Love

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Hey i am 14 now,lebanese and i met this guy last year at school.His name is Elie Sarrouf and he’s bigger than me(his b’day is in February and mine is in April).He is so cute,tall and very funny.I had i crush on him months ago but i didnt say a word.I met him at class but the few first months we didnt really talk but my bestfriend introduce me 2 him.I guess it was LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!I told my bestfriend that i might like him(i was lying,i knew that i LOVE him)but she told him:(.I was so angry and jealous cz ma bestf and him always sat next 2 eachother(the principal indicates where we should sit).I used to see them laughing all the time and i was really jealous!
One day we went 2 the library and we had to do a project so he came and sate next to me and all that time his hand didnt leave my leg and when we watched a movie the same day he sate next to me and put hia arm around my back.My heart was beating so fast and i felt his hand on my leg for the next two days.I asked a BOYfriend that i knew for 10 years and he told me that i should ask Elie why he did so.So when we were leaving i asked him why you touched me?He said that it was just for fun!I didnt believe him(i dont know why).
After like a month,we sate next to each other in class and everytime he touched me i hit him.
Last week the same thing happened in the library when we had a research about Hitler.
I had a dream about us kissing at his house and having sex but when i told my bestfriend about it she said OMG!!!!!!
I really really love him but im just hiding it now.What should i do next?
PLEASE HELP!

(Screen) Name: Tamara

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when lucy got anger Lucy said get out of my room were staying in honeymoon youre dont have any boyfriends i got marryed by ken and my daughter is 15 years old name strawberry shortcake,a few days later…pharyn gonna do something creating a imaginary boyfriend name Leon s Kennedy she a handsome flirting cop guy then i found my true love first kiss was said pharyn gasped my true love kiss pharyn said meed while Lucy back from honeymoon at the pharyns bedroom lucy said i hate you and i hate your sex and i hate your virgin and i hate your cooking skills and i hate your junk-food and i hate your ice cream and then lucy gives me a slap in the pharyns face and then leon said leave my girlfriend alone she mine now and get lost lucy heres your 16 year old daughter name nicky shortcake,pharyn and leon got my first kiss

the end
-by pharyn roller

(Screen) Name: pharyn roller

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this is my love story, very hard to explain every detail of it and god knows i don’t know where to begin. I met my soon to be husband through his uncle in 2006 we started to talk over the phone at first i could not understand one word that Ali said we exchanged numbers and emails for it was easier for us to chat online due to the language barrier between the two of us. Me and Ali started sending each other emails telling each other about ourselves what we liked, what we didn’t, what we were looking for in this life. We were just friends getting to know each other but as time went on we started to fall in love with one another probably about a year after we had met Ali told me i love you me coming from a domestic violence marriage of 13 years and having to overcome severe complications I did not trust men at all and would not tell him i loved him and would not give my heart to him but over time as I got to know ali more i knew I was falling in love with the man behind the screen. Ali was different than most men I had met i did not have to worry about him running when I mentioned that i had three children, or worry about him raising a hand to me in anger. Well finally I swallowed my pride and told Ali what I wanted to say for too long that I loved him with all my heart and he was the one i wanted to spend the rest of my life with even though i had never met him face to face. I have never been on an airplane in my entire life scared to death of them Ali begged me to come from Michigan to Africa at first i was hesitant and then i said where am i going to find another man that loves me like this for me, so I bought a plan ticket from Michigan to Monrovia Liberia. It took me 28 hrs to get from Michigan to Liberia the scariest ride of all my life but I knew I had to do this because i loved this man with all my heart. When my plane reached Liberia for being a small airport i got detained inside for like an hour they would only let so many people exit the airport at one time finally when i was able to exit the airport my luggage was lost and Ali was no where in site freaking out thinking i just flew half way across the world to get stood up by a guy, and in a country i knew nothing about i was so nervous. Looking around not seeing anything familiar to me the picture Ali had sent me did not do this man justice for I finally found him racing around trying to find me he grabbed me and hugged me so tight. I thought at first there was no way on earth this man could love me, look at him and then look at me but, I was wrong he showed me that true love does not lay in beauty for it lays inside the heart. I spent 3 weeks in Liberia with him, we went to the clubs, went to restaurants and just had the most amazing time of our life and i knew this man was the one for me for all my life. I knew saying goodbye to him was going to be the hardest part i broke down in tears in the airport and the security guard looked at me and Ali and said okay time to go so we had to let each other go. I got back to Michigan but little did i know what i was prepared for next it would take three years for us to meet again, three years of no one believing our story, three years of the government working against us saying that our love was not deep or true but through it all the boundaries the time and the distance our love has stayed strong we keep each other strong there are times where we want to give up but we know that we cant because our hearts wont let us love another, our love is so deep and true it cannot be described in words. Finally it was time for me and him to meet again after three years of going through 50.00 dollars a day in calling cards and just chatting online I knew in just a few days I would see his face again this time we were meeting in his home country of Beirut Lebanon. It took me 13 hrs to get to Lebanon the most painful excruciating ride of my life because i was too anxious to see his face after three years. Once again my luggage was lost but that was not what was on my mind, my mind was only on one person Ali, looking around i finally spotted him with a bouquet of flowers in his hand he practically jumped over the gate to reach me as we rushed to each others arms, we did not let go of each other for at least 15 minutes cause we had not seen each other in so long. I would spend one month with him this time and here is where he asked me to marry him and be his wife on valentines day of this year we were engaged for long time but he wanted to do it the right way and we were at a club one night and he looked at me and told me in all my life, i have never met someone that loves me like you do, or that will do anything for me like you do, you have a big heart and you are a very giving person I know i probably don’t have the right to ask you this because of the distance that surrounds us but, i love you with all my heart and I just want to marry you and share my life with you. It did not take me one second or even a minute to reply to his answer cause I knew this man was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life and eternity with;. We had a small engagement party in Lebanon with his family, he took me all over in Lebanon from the clubs to the restaurants to showing me the history but I knew the hardest day was yet to come where i would have to leave his side once again but this time it was only that much worse because it broke my heart to leave his side. I am sharing our story for only a few reasons to prove to people that no matter what boundaries or obstacles people face that it is possible to find true love and your soul mate, not many people would probably be as crazy as me a single woman traveling alone into a country she knows nothing about just to meet the man she fell in love with over an internet screen. To be honest now me and Ali have to make our lives because the government Don’t believe that our love is true they think it is all just to evade immigration laws which is not true we love each other desperately and just want to find a way to be together. So now I am working two jobs plus he his working just so we can find a way to get up enough money so we can be together and start our lives together but, we know that Michigan or the USA will not be our answer for they will not allow him here because they think our love is false so now we are working on getting up enough money to move me and my children to where ever we know that we can be together and spend our lives together. This may seem like a far fetched story to a lot of you or maybe one you don’t believe but trust me this story is true and from my heart and I love this man with all my heart and he loves me just as much and we just want to be able to start our lives together

(Screen) Name: lakota197626

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As I was doing my bachelor’s degree i wanted to complete a professional degree as well. So i started CWA classes. I have no female cousins only men. So i grew up with boys all the time. As a result, i wasn’t very girly. I was more of a tomboy. I didn’t know to talk like girls, like about clothes, makeup and stuff like that. I was more into cars and bikes and anime. I like boys just like any other girl.
On the first day of class, sitting in the front row, i was looking around at the new faces around me. Then i heard someone laughing at the back of the class, so i turned to look. He was wearing a dull blue t-shirt. He wasn’t what you’d call a hunk but he had an insane smile. I guess i fell for him then and there but didn’t realize it that time.(let’s call him JACK)
As the days went by we became acquainted. I talked to any guy who would talk to me coz we were all classmates. But people taught that i talk to boys too much. I have always been comfortable talking to guys more than to girls, from childhood.
It became pretty obvious to everyone that I had a crush on jack. It’s clearly visible. I have never grown knee weak for anything in my life except him. when i’m with him, i tug at my hair, i pull at my clothes, i try to keep my cool but i know it shows. i stare at my feet and my cheeks turn red. i search for words inside my head and stand there like i have nothing to say. I can feel my heart beating in my chest whenever he looks at me and sometimes i’m afraid he might hear it.
During an exam he asked me if i was in love with him bcoz his friends seem to think so. I denied it, of course. At the last exam, as he was leaving i realized i might never see him again. So i called him up and said that what his friends told him was not entirely false. He hung up and kept avoiding me for the next year.
During that time he dated a girl who dumped him after two and a half months. I tried to be a good friend and consoled him that everything will be fine. he was still yearning for her. I listened to him talk about her with tears in my eyes coz i couldn’t stand to listen to him talk that way about some other girl.
Eventually, we became friends and he got over her. But he thinks that i’m over him too and that i’m just being a friend. It’s been two years since i saw him and the effect he has on me hasn’t changed at all.
Recently i told him that i was still in love with him. He didn’t avoid me but he told me that he doesn’t feel that way about me. He’s the only one who said that to me.
Now, I don’t know what to do?
How should I react?
There’s a chance that he might never fall in love with me.
Should I move on or should I not lose hope?
It’s driving me crazzy…..

(Screen) Name: Kagome

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ever feel that you really dont want to go somewhere or do something that seems like a waste of time? Ever have that feeling that even though it seems like somethings a horrible idea, you still want to go through with it? Sometimes young non-lovers just agree to some experiences since it seems like nothing would happen thats exciting.Thats the thing about crushes, they can happen anywhere and anytime.For me, I realized that it always happens when you dont expect it.
In many ways its like life, cruel and bitter however if something is done about it,it can be the sweetest fantasy turned into reality.
I know there are many people who have the confidence, the courage, the determined type that marches straight across to win the final and first trophy.However not all of us can do that. Instead we continue searching in what seems like forever but is merely a second.To those of you who have found that perfect for you someone, congrates because you have found someone in a million. But for those of you who are to much of a wimp to face the endless song of truth, the always spinning whirl pool of choices, and the uneven bumps that are always there to experience..Then these upcoming chapters are for you….

(Screen) Name: 108 FLAWS and counting..

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I met my boyfriend from the guy I was seeing who went to another school. We were on the phone together speaking in mandarin where that’s when we first clicked. Later that night, I Myspaced him thanking him for the advice he had given me about telling his friend that I was no longer interested in him. We then talked on AIM for a couple of hours discovering that we had a lot in common. When he had to go, he sent me his phone number so I called him and talked for a couple of hours more.
We decided to meet up for our first date. I was 16 (sophomore) and he was 18 (senior). I was VERY nervous at first, only because I was intimidated by his looks. We were both extremely attracted to each other. He got a bit annoyed and pissed off after a while, so I opened up. I remember years back, I drew a picture of my “dream guy” in class. I swear the picture was a complete replica of this guy. We ended up at The Block in Orange where coincidently, the guy I was seeing saw us sitting down. His expression was as if he saw a ghost. We had to explain our situation and we were hoping that he’d be okay with us being together.
A month later, he popped the question! He asked me out in his friend’s car while he was totally buzzed and almost passing out with a pink carnation in his hand. I thought it was the cutest thing. Our first kiss was at a pool hall outside. After kissing him on the cheek, he took my face and we had our amazing moment. Then I knew that this is something special.
Back in the day, we would Xanga our dates and comment on each other’s page. Then Friendster came along etc… 2 years past, his best friend confronted me and told me he was cheating on me. I believed him and it was a horrible break up. At the time I was vulnerable and foolish. His best friend pursued me and I gave in. I guess we’ve always had a thing for one another from all the hang outs we’ve had. In the period of 2 months, he would try to contact me nonstop. Begging me to forgive him and give him another chance. I ignored his phone calls, text messages and insanity. He told me it was the worst 2 months of his life. He was so depressed that he’d cry until he threw up. He couldn’t go out nor could he speak to his family.
On the train to San Diego, he called to tell me that it was time for him to move on. I was happy for him and yet threatened because he would no longer give me the attention that I was receiving. I was on the way to see another guy when it hit me. I had to go back to him. It was obvious that he was better looking than the guy I was about to see. So after a weekend in San Diego, I discovered that my life had taken a sudden turn. We were once again together.
After many break ups and roller coaster rides, we are happily together for 7 years & 3 months. It would take days to explain all the miracles and tragedies that we’ve gone through. But what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. I can say that we share the same love The Notebook shares. At our 7th Anniversary, we decided to move in together in an apartment. That weekend, we attended a wedding where I caught the bouquet and he caught the garter. Was it fate? Is it written? Can it be our destiny? I don’t know. All in all, I truly, deeply love him.

(Screen) Name: bbychinky

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I was in my first year in high school by that time, first day of school. I woke up late so I rushed and went off to shool, but still there were no more seats for me, I was standing at the back by that time waiting for my seats when a boy named Vince came into my class catching his breath. I smiled and stared at him without knowing. I felt that he’s so attractive. A few weeks later, I forgot that he exist, then a close friend of mine told me that he likes him. I know that I dont like him but there’s an ache inside me. Then, the seats were changed ang I was put next besides him. From that day, we became the best of friends and were never seperated. Until 3rd quarted came and the seats were again changed. I was so far from him and we were too busy that we forgot our friendship. Atlast 4th quarter came, we had a project and we were in the same group. Then, we end up teasing each other and created these “fights” to know who is smarter, but it was just for fun until I eventually started to fall for him, unknowingly that he has a girlfriend which crushed my heart and made me hate him during summer. It was in my second year life that he started to tease me again. But this time, I made my self not to fall for him. One day, he teased me unknowingly that it made me embarrassed. So in great anger, I told him that I hate him and I dont want him in my life anymore. He said sorry but because of my pride, I didnt accept it. The next day, he told me that he likes me, which made me hate him most, coz this such as “If he loves me, why would he embarrasse me?” keep running into my mind. From that day we regret seeing each other. Everytime we see each other, its as if we were staring at a stranger. At our recollection, I said sorry and he replied “K.” and made me like “K.? Thats all? I swallowed my pride to revive our friendship and all I get is a K.?!” . Until now, we still dont talk and I miss him so much. Got some advise? :’>

(Screen) Name: ms. idiot

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